3.5 years long distance, now she needs time, paying for me to visit?
After 2.5 years of long distance, different regions of the country, we were planning on being in same area after college. She is now employed and I'm in grad school, but we didn't end up in the same location, due to financial reasons. Just went 3 months w/o seeing each other and we got to spend the last weekend together. For the last few months, there has been a lot of fighting, stress, etc, and the first night together we had a huge fight, both of us thought it was over. However, next day it was fine. After coming home, I was planning to schedule another trip to see her and she tells me she wants to be honest and is unsure of things, due to the fight after not seeing each other for so long. Se doesn't know if we get along or if its just the distance. After 2 days of talking, she says she needs time and wants to be alone. She says she doesn't think this is the relationship she wants right now, needs more out of it, but because of our busy schedules, we don't even have much time to talk at all usually. She says if I was there, this would not be an issue. So I told her I'm not going to visit if we are breaking up. She offered to pay half to fly to see her after the holidays, including staying at her parents' home for a few nights, and I do want to see her. So I agreed. I love the girl to death and want to be with her, but I am pretty sure its over after hearing what she feels/wants. But why would she fly me in and say when I ask what will it be like when I'm there, she replies, "it'll be us like it has always been?" am I making a mistake going up there? I told her how I feel and how I disagree with this time thing for the last time. I feel like I should just leave her alone now and see what happens? Don't contact her anymore? I'm pretty upset about it, but I figure leaving it up to her will help me get over this, because I don't see the relationship happening again. I'm just really confused why she wants to see me and be "us" in a month for the time I'm there? It has now been 3.5 years of long distance.
50/50 move on or wait and see?
In regards to my post on the 3.5 year long disatnce relationship and her needing her time, I feel like half of me says to try and relax and wait to see what happens with her needing time. The other half is telling me move on, assume we won't be together again. I just don't get why she would pay for me to fly over, have me stay at her parents house with her family, and then go back to her place for a few more days. I'm assuming she going to need time at the very least until I see her in a month, but she doesn't even know. She only says she don't have answers and just needs to do this for herself. Is this selfish? I'm no longer going to initiate conversation with her and haven't in the last couple days. She broke the silence yesterday morning with a text saying how she loves me, but just needs her time, and is very happy I decided to book the flight to see her. She says this is only because of the distance, but distance wouldn't be solved anytime soon. Is a relationship a good possibility again? Or am I being oblivious? Just start moving on, cutting her out of my life, and then just try to have fun when I visit and make that the last time? I feel like at this point I need to see her one more time so I can truly see how she feels.
She says I need my time--what does that mean
What does it mean when girlfriend in long distance relationship says I need my time but have trip to see each other in a month? Obv. For me to leave her alone. But is it her way of breaking it off easily to me? Does a girl really need time? What are the chances after her time, she decides she wants to be with you again?