What do you do if you don't know where to turn but yet if you keep looking straight you get jarred in the back and you can't pick yourself back up and when you do you just get very paranoid and you're not as strong as you used to. If everything you love turns on you and you feel so alone to where you can't sleep at night you just want to get away you don't want to get up in the morning you just want to lay in bed and die.

If you can't get up, you get your friends and you sit on the ground until you're strong enough to stand.

If you can't smile, you wipe the tears of your face and stand up.

If you don't think you can get out of bed, you throw off the covers and sit up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X5cZC5U6dM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8zWb0-pCbQ

It's one step at a time. :)

Well I try but everyday gets harder and harder to overcome.
I just... let's just say that its gotten worse.

Im 18, I used to feel like this about a girl and my friends sometimes. Its hard to say there's anything to fix it, you just grow out of it. Every year I look back at things I used to be so consumed and wrought about, but now are just whatever. Just be yourself, live your life and do what you want to do. You will gain confidence and contentness in yourself as you get older.

Well it's not anything about any relationship or friends that is the thing. I can handle all of that I did it all the time. But I was being sexually abused about 9 months ago and had also met my mom for the first time and I finally spilled about everything and I lost my dad but I lost all my friends too and none of that bugs me its... just I don't know. I hope that I will know someday. I have the feeling though that it has something to do with my dad. I just don't know what to do and I wish that I did. Although I am slowly learning to block everything that my mom says because she always tries to bring my little brother, little sister, and I down and I just can't stand it. I just wish I could get out of here.