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-   -   Different Views on Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=283404)

  • Nov 20, 2008, 06:37 PM
    Ruylopez
    Different Views on Sexuality
    I am still very young, as I hardly qualify to even so much as post on this area of the forum.
    I think I'll get right to the point. I am a nihilistic atheist with a powerful sex drive. And my girlfriend is a devout mormon, who hates the thought of sexual activity. Any of it. How do I go about satisfying my desires? It's driving me crazy... I love her very much and would never leave her over sex... I guess I'm just lost.
  • Nov 20, 2008, 06:57 PM
    jennifer1010

    Masterbate!
  • Nov 20, 2008, 07:02 PM
    Ruylopez

    It's getting to the point where that hardly does anything for me... I haven't been active with another person since... well... a long time. And masturbation just isn't cutting it.
  • Nov 20, 2008, 07:05 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Well first devout mormos do not hate sex, in fact to them it is a wonderful gift that God has given to us. The issue is that it is for a after you are married

    There is more issue the entire belief in God, this is going to cause much more issues in your relationship since as devout christian they put most of their entire life to revolve around the church..
  • Nov 20, 2008, 07:14 PM
    youser333

    You are young and need to time to find what you want and who you are. Don't feel sorry for breaking up with her because its not over just sex; it's that you two have different beliefs and views. You shouldn't feel guilty for not agreeing with her religion. I believe that sex is a big part of a healthy loving relationship & its totally normal that you want that.
  • Nov 20, 2008, 07:23 PM
    jennifer1010

    I also agree with youser333
  • Nov 20, 2008, 08:44 PM
    Ruylopez

    Thanks for your help, everyone. But my main problem is that everything about our relationship is going great, except for the sexual side of things. Opposites attract, as they say, and our respectful disagreement has enlightened both of us on many topics. Of course, this is a sensitive issue, and if what you say is true (about mormans not generally willing to partake in sexual activity before marriage), then:
    1) It's a shame I didn't know that, and
    2) there seems no way for me to release my sexual energy through a desired method (natural occurrence, I would like to believe)

    I love her too much to argue over something like sexuality, so I feel like I'm back to square one here...
  • Nov 20, 2008, 09:46 PM
    simoneaugie

    Suppose you were to be diagnosed with penile cancer, and it was removed to save your life. Could you live without it? At the moment, all that's needed is patience.

    While you're waiting, learn about Mormon values. Talk to her parents, her church. Find out what being Mormon, or being married to a Mormon entails.

    Masturbate and live with the current situation or move on.
  • Nov 21, 2008, 06:22 AM
    Synnen

    Your ONLY option, if you do not want to lose this girl, is masturbation.

    Or learning that sex isn't QUITE as important as you think it is.

    Don't get me wrong--sex is important to a long term, stable relationship. But values (such as choosing to wait until after marriage) are more important than sex every time.

    You have an extremely high sex drive BECAUSE you are 18. Self-control is the biggest issue here, not whether you are "satisfied" sexually.
  • Nov 21, 2008, 12:58 PM
    smoothy
    Lots of people working at Walmart or flipping Burgers because they had give up all their plans to support kids they had when they thought there was nothing more important the getting laid. Stupidity like that can destroy any plans for the future you previously had. Kids don't ask to be born but their parrents are responsible for raising them because it was their action that brought them into the world. That's the lucky ones... the unlucky ones catch aids and leave orphans behind.
  • Nov 24, 2008, 04:10 PM
    Choux

    Leave her alone. You are very young and going through a lot of phases right now... don't try to ruin a good girl!!
  • Mar 7, 2012, 04:23 PM
    smoothy
    You deal with your own issues... and accept her beliefs and respect them... or you move on. You can't have a relationship with someone who you don't, won't or can't respect them as they are, and that includes their beliefs, likes and dislikes. You don't change people to suit you... they don't change... you find people who are actually like the people you want to find.

    If that wasn't clear... you get real familiar with Rosey Palmer and her four sisters... because you will be waiting until she's married to you. And learn to take control of your own body as you clearly haven't learned that fine art yet at your age. As you get older... you learn how to make the big head make all the decisions... and keep the little head in his place. Most guys learn that by 30, a few never do. Very few 18 or 19 year olds can.

    Besides consider this... you and her will be doing a LOT of growing up the next 4 or 5 years... more than you can imagine. You may find by them you no longer have an common goals, and may not even like each other. Don't take that personally because EVERYONE goes through that phase... I did and everyone reading this that's past 25 knows what I'm saying because they did too.
  • Mar 7, 2012, 06:58 PM
    afaroo
    Hello Smoothy,

    I am sure you responded to this post by mistake because you know very well and you are the expert, just wanted to bring this to your attention that this thread is more than 4 years old, once again I am sorry to bring this to yours attention, Thanks.

    Best Regards,

    John
  • Mar 7, 2012, 07:28 PM
    smoothy
    afaroo, what happened is somehow this post got churned up on the home page (current threads) when I answered... I never saw the date (but should have)... I think I responded to another post that was later removed... I don't remember now (but I think that was the case because I remember another post being beind Choux's post) otherwise how it wasn't long buried is beyond my understanding.

    A good and valid point you make... we've all got to pay closer attention to dates. And I'm not immune to that mistake either.

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