sorry if the tittle is really bad! But I'm just so condused. Okay so I've been in a rocky relationship for the past year and 4 months, and at the end of may we broke up. And I developed a crush on a guy at work (I know such a bad idea!) anyway. In the middle of June this guy went on a vacation to italy with his mom and I sent him a text message asking him how his trip was. He answered and we sent more messages. When he came back he asked me to hang out and to come over to his place to play a video game (this might sound silly, but at work we had been talking about this video game I'm pretty good at and he challenged me and yes he won) and we drank some wine he brought back from italy.

after this I really messed up! We went to a music festival, not together though! He was with his friends and I was with mine, but I met up with him and hung out and he was kind of ignoring me and then he started to act like a jerk. So I thought" hey lets forget about him and I kind of, sort of... well okay I slept with a guy he knows and dislikes. At the end of July I got back together with my ex boyfriend because he convinced me that it would be better and that this could work out (it didn't and we met once a week or every other week and then I broke it of finally)

I'm still hung up on the guy at work though... he was mad at me but he didn't want to admit it so he teased me about it instead and I told him that if he's mad: be mad, stop acting like your not just to have something to bother me with.

I guess what I'm confused about is does he like me? He was at a party at my house and we were talking about work and then my boyf (now x) showed up and we argued and the guy from work had told a coworker of ours that he didn't want to be mixed up in that. If I'm at the local pub and send him a text telling him that I am he shows up, if he sees me he stopes and talks, if we're taking the same bus home from work he sits next to me... if we are a group of people from work he sits next to me. Still I'm not really buying into it. But then again I'm a bit paranoid of getting hurt again...

It's quit obvious that he likes you and prob acted like a jerk that time because he was nervous and freaked out a little and didn't know how to act. Why did you have to sleep with someone he knew and hated? Just because you thought he ignored you a little? If you want this guy and like him then you need to stop sleeping with peps he knows and hate just to get his attention. He might end up thinking that your not interested or something else. Be upfront with him about how you feel and ask him about how he feels about you two. The feeling could be mutual. And him not wanting to get up in the situation of you and your ex is good. It's none of his concern and only between you and your ex. You need to figure out what you really want and who you want to be with and stop hoppin from one guy to another.:confused:

Thank you! Well I didn't sleep with the guy because of him really. I don't know. I didn't know they knew each other that well. There were so many people there and it didn't really occor to me until a guy (lets call him B) and the crush A. I didn't know a hated the guy until be told me that he did.

In reality I do stupid stuff when I'm really reallt freaked out. It hasn't happened since though. But I totally get that a pulls back a bit.

True I'm a mess. And I really do need to get my 'stuff' together (hehe nice way of putting it I guess ;))

Thank you for your opinion and advice! :)

Well the whole sleeping with that guy thing. I've let him bug me about it. He brings it up as often as he can. And I get that. Except last time, then I told him to cut it out.

I have to admit that I'm a little freaked out to tell him... and a friend of his actually asked me a week ago if I liked him... and I din't handle it too well. And I am getting a panic attac just writing about it... the thought of telling him that is. Seeing as we work together and all. And we hang out with some of the same people. So if it isn't mutual I will actually have to avoid him at work (he works in a different department so that will be fine I guess) but I will also have to avoid his friends and the local pub and the bus... :S

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Originally Posted by roxypox

well the whole sleeping with that guy thing. i've let him bug me about it. he brings it up as often as he can. and i get that. except last time, then i told him to cut it out.

i have to admit that i'm a little freaked out to tell him.... and a friend of his actually asked me a week ago if i liked him.... and i din't handle it too well. and i am getting a panic attac just writing about it... the thought of telling him that is. seeing as we work together and all. and we hang out with some of the same ppl. so if it isn't mutual i will actually have to avoid him at work (he works in a different department so that will be fine i guess) but i will also have to avoid his friends and the local pub and the bus.... :S

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Sorry to hear that he is bringing that up to you a lot, but since he is, it shows how much he likes you and bothers him. He will eventually stop hopefully if he knew how you felt. If I was in your situation I would tell him that you didn't know if he was interested in you or not and when he ignored you that night you thought that was your answer so you made a quick judgment and( a bad judgment I may add) then ended up sleeping with a guy. Everyone makes mistakes so he needs to not hold that over you head, just don't do something else that may hurt your chances with this guy from work. I know you say that you are to freaked out to tell him how you fell but how will you know if you don't ask? If the feeling isn't mutual, which I think it is, don't avoid any of the places his friends hang or he is. Act like it doesn't bother you even if it does and live your life. I wish you the best and please tell him how you fell before it's to late. He may be wondering if you like him too and is afraid to ask so one of you have to toughen up and ask.

Thank you so much for your advice. I really appreciate it! I think you're absolutely right! I should tell him... hehe and I will absolutely avoid anymore disasters... you make some really good points.

I'll prob post once I've told him, but it make take me some days...

You are absolutely right about not avoiding them. I didn't avoid them after the other disaster,
Thank!

Roxy

I really think you need to get over your Ex first and start loving yourself before someone else will.

If I was this guy I would be a little put off by the fact you just slept with someone else for the sake of it , whether I knew him or not.

He seems to like you so just take it easy and show him you are a nice person and get him to like you for you.

No rush , if it's meant to be it will and you will only push him away if you try to rush it.

Good Luck!

I have to say that I am over my x... I really am. And I really agree that you have to love yourself before someone else can. That's a very good point. Besides if you don't love yourself you might just attract the wrong type of people.

I feel really horrible about the thing this summer. I really do. And I honestly did not do it to make him jealous.

something funny happened yesterday though. We talked about school and I gave him some advice and he said he didn't understand where and how to sign up for this class thing and I told him that I could help him with it before the kids starts showing up (we work at a school) and a common friend of us (coworker as well) said she could help as well, and he told her that well you can help roxy while she's helping me.

after I helped him this morning he thanked me and told me that I'm a really great person.

Friend4u: I agree with the whole not rushing think. I don't like to rush either. Besides I do really think it would freak him out.

blf: I'm taking your advice and I will tell him that I like him. But seeing as I should do it face to face it might take me a while to do it seeing as I don't really want to say it in front of half of the people we know.

thank you both for you advice!

-Roxy

I just think you need to stop seeing anyone for a month or two. The best thing to do when you're confused about a relationship is to just take a break.

Femur: hehe that does sound like a good idea! Besides I really do like being unattached, not because I can do who ever or anything like that but more b\c I can focus more on my work and on school and I can do whatever I want when I want to do it. My x boyfriend was totally jealous of my best friend, like to the point that he hated her. And now I can see her and hang out with my friends more.

besides I've been thinking about it over the weekend and I'm actually content with just the flirting situation with the guy at work. At the moment that is. Hehe and I really don't have a need for rushing into anything at the moment. I'm just happy that things are as good as they are at the moment. I was just confused as to whether there was a chance that he likes me or not. :)

Okay so I told him and he said he kind of knew... but that it wasn't mutual and then he told me to tell him again today (was at a work thing, I wasn't wasted but he was and I didn't realise until I saw him walk. So bad bad timing.)

I really don't see a point in telling him today, besides I wasn't at work today... I had school...

A little redflag was totally raised in my head when he told me to repeat what I said... should I do it or shouldn't I?

That sure sounds strange to me Roxy , and it seemed to raise a Red Flag in your mind which I'm sure is a concern.

I've always been one for advising people to go with there gut instincts , because their normally right.

Thank you Friend4u!

Yeah it really does sound strange. I can't see the point in saying it twice.

My gut tells me that either he is just trying to mess with my head... or he is unsure that I'm telling the truth or if I really mean it.

Still don't think his answer will change.

But thank you so much for your advice!