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-   -   Cannot support adult daughter anymore (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=282692)

  • Nov 19, 2008, 02:43 AM
    sigalhadashi1
    Cannot support adult daughter anymore
    I have a 26 year old daughter whom we love very much.
    She has fibromylygia and is also emotionally disturbed.
    We are completely supporting her,rent,food,otherwise.
    We have taken many loans,etc.and now after so many
    Years we are broke.She receives no aid from any organzation,etc.
    We as parents feel emotionally spent and we have told her
    She must come home to us but she says she would rather
    Commit suicide-she has made one attempt.We have tried to seek
    A lot ofhelp over the years and now we are financially unable.
    I as her mother feel much guilt in my inability to continue to support her.
    We are both 60 and not getting younger unfortunately.
    She does not work-has a studio but is not making any money from that.
    She says she cannot work.
    Any suggestions or support would be helpful at this difficult time.

    Thanks
  • Nov 19, 2008, 06:05 PM
    ursula01
    You sound like very loving people but it about time you start to think about you and your health,I am not telling you to stop loving her but she needs to start standing on HER own feet
    She can get a job part time or do some community work and Stop paying her way , god forbid you will not be around for ever and then what will she do .
    Sit her down and tell her it will be for her own good .but remember to keep loving her and tell her that all the time and she will see it is for her
    Good luck!
  • Nov 19, 2008, 06:33 PM
    liz28

    It seems that you offer what you could. If she is unwilling to come home and can't afford a place to live what more can you do?

    It seems that she can't or won't even try to stand on her own two feet because she has become dependent on you and her dad fiancially supporting her.

    Does she get SSI?

    I think that you and your husband are great for doing what you been doing but there is nothing left for you to do. If she threatens to kill herself again, and you think she might, then call 911.
  • Nov 24, 2008, 09:31 PM
    Michelle Miller

    I am sorry about what you are going through. That sounds like a tough situation. I think if I were you I would tell her what you have just told us. Tell her you can't afford to support her anymore. Your finances are depleted. Tell her if she would like you would love for her to stay with you and if not she will have to pay for her own bills. She will try to argue with you. Just tell her those are your options and that is the end of discussion. I have no other choice. Your daughter will come around one way or another. It is called tough love. If you keep giving her money she will keep taking it. Good luck.

    Love,
    Michelle

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