I'm in middle school and I need help! I used to be a pretty nice person in most ways, but I got mean when I met somebody and we became good friends.. how do I get my niceness back? I mean, now I'm making fun of people and bullying more and doing things I just shouldn't be doing. I was doing fine before but in some ways I am nicer. I just want to be really nice. And I need help by not just giving me the basics, but I need people to see and accept me being nicer. Please help, being mean is a bad habit and I think its REALLY hard to break, is there an easy way to do this?

Why do you want to be nice? Why are you being mean?

I think it's great you want to try, so just start and forget about whatever it is you've been doing, everyone wants to be liked especially when they're young it's important but if having this friend is making you want to do bad things then don't have that person as a friend anymore - and you can start by being as nice as possible and telling that person the truth about why you don't want to be friends, don't argue about it, just say so as politely as possible and do it in private when your friend will have some time alone to think about what you've said not in front of a bunch of people at school(not nice!).

And then, you should focus on doing your schoolwork, pick up hobbies, read a book in the hallway and between classes - give yourself a chance to relax around your classmates again and just don't interact except for 'please' and 'thank you' for a while. Focus on being funny, making jokes, cheering others up, and enjoy yourself while doing it... that's my definition of "nice"

I think you should be sure to always be true to yourself. If you feel like something you are doing isn't nice, stop as soon as you realize it. It may take a while for people to stop thinking of you as being mean but if you stop they will notice sooner or later. Just be sure to act the way you know is right. Find your old friends that you know are nice and hang with them for awhile. You don't have to give up your new friend, maybe you can help her be nice, too! Maybe she doesn't know how mean she is being and if you just say, hey, that's kind of mean, she will try to be nicer. Everyone goes through a mean stage, it's just important to know it and try not to make that be how everyone thinks of you. Try not to talk bad about people, especially behind their backs--- there is always someone who tells them and then you are thought of as mean! :)

Just stop and ask yourself, How would I react or handle what I am about to say to this person? If it's going to be something mean, or something that you would be offended by coming from someone else, then just don't say it.
Let's say, for an example, a girl is telling you about how over the weekend she met a really hott guy who really likes her.
And it turns out that he doesn't really think she's hott.
Well don't tell her "I heard from people/friends that he never said that" Just let her think that because her thoughts aren't hurting anyone so just let it go.
Start making nice compliments to people you walk by, if you can't find a nice compliment then just smile or say hi to them.
If a girl is wearing something really ugly, just act like you don't even notice anything.
Stand up for people but in a nice way.
By people, I mean the ones you don't hang out with or talk to, maybe start standing up for the people who you usually are mean to, that's one way to show them that you have changed.
- Johna

Having the thought of being nice is the best right now...

Over many, many, years other people have asked the same question. Several wise persons have answered with something like this:

Don't do anything to other people that you would not want done to you.

Hi, Rainbow0077!

Being nice is most times a matter of choosing to do so. A lot of times we're influenced on how we act by the way that others act.

If you know the way that you need to act to be nice, then I would suggest choosing to be that way. By doing that, you can be a good example for others to follow rather than you follow the examples of others who really could improve on how nice they are to others.

I do agree with FlyYakker that following something like the Golden Rule is a good thing to do.

Thanks!

Guest what I am so mean and I really need to be nice to this is what I am going to do.I am going to make a chart about how nice I am then I am going to make a mean chart so that I can know when I am mean if I get more than five check then I will have to try to be nice for nine mouths

Yes that's right I was mean but then I started to be nice because I saw how people were getting hurt so I stopped

See my brother is mean because my mother gets mad at him and gets mad at me so he takes it out on other people