My husband and I got married in Feb... of this year. A week later after he asked me to marry him... we found out that we are having a baby. I was
Shock of course. He was very happy we both were but now he is never around he is always out skating with his friends. He acted like he was happy. But I found a text message that he sent to his guy friend that he was like " how come my life end up like this" I wanted to say something to him but I'm not going to. He is 19yrs old too. In oct. we are having a baby grl. I don't know now... I am really confused I'm starting to get scared that he might leave cause he is not happy. The thing is he tells me he loves me everyday. But his attitude changes all the time now I don't know if he is going to get mad or be happy. I don't know what I would do. But I just needed to talk to someone about this... thanks grlsexypnk

Im 19yrs old married only 5 months and pregnant... I don't know what to do I'm scared My husband and I are very happy that we are having a girl. My husband and I were talking about today that he only wants one kid. When we talked about it before he wanted two. He is scared and so am I we are very young to be having a baby. We have not even moved out of my parents house. But we would never give her up. I think that he thinks that we will not be able to take care of two kids every. We are only having one now... it all was so sudden and now we are married and having our first child. I wish he would understand that I am going through a lot to. Being pregnant is not easy... he says all I do is *****... I do! But I do so much for him. He never does anything for me well there is this one time that he got me flowers but that was the only time... I work full time I work from 6 to 3 then sometimes I have to work late hrs like to about 10 on my feet all day... now that is hard I don't sit all day or take breaks well cause we are to busy for me to do that I don't eat right I don't have time... people say make time but how when I'm working... but when I come home all I want to do is rest but he has me doing stuff like dumb stuff I can't take it I try to tell him I'm pregnant and that I'm tired... but he does not understand.. I wish he knew what it was like and he would go through it but I guess he can't I just need to some how try to talk to him but its hard. Help me Grlsexypnk

Hi hun. Sounds like you went through the same thing my hubby and I did. When got married, and two weeks later we conceived our son. I had just turned 19 about 4 months earlier, and he only 2 months earlier. We were still living in his mothers house, with his mom, little sister, brother and his wife and their little girl that was only about 6 months old. His mom had to walk through our room to get to her room. So there was very little privacy. First of all, make sure that you take time with just the two of you now, to strengthen your marriage and friendship. You will need that strong bond. Try to sit down and talk one on one with your hubby, and explain exactly what you are feeling. I would suggest getting the book " what to expect when youare expecting" and there are also lots of websites that you can go to together. These will help you to be able to share the expereince. You can both see how your baby is growing and matureing, and it can givehim some insite to what you are going through. Many times the fathers to be feel left out and shunned, because they can't expereince the pregnancy like the mommys to be can. Mainly they just get to expereince the mood swings. But if you go through these sites and the book together, and once the baby is big enough for him to feel the kicking(if not already) you can share that too, and it becomes more real. At this time, it may also be very hard for him to grasp that life really is changing, and it will be changed forever. It is hard for you as well, but guys seem to take it a little harder. They suddenly realize that they aren't foot loose and free anymore, and they have to become responsible not only for a wife, but also a child. It scares them and they will at times try to back away. Patience and love go a long way in these situtaions. Now, I am not saying youshould give give give, and never get anything in return. But if you will try to understand his point of view, and calmly sit with him and (drawing it out might help get thoughts flowing) what scares you and what is exciting to you, you will find that oyu both have many of the same emotions and fears and excitments. Trust me when the baby comes, many of those fears will fade. This little baby will bring happiness and love and fill your lives in ways you didn't think possible. You will look back and can't imagine how you got along with out them before. Eventually when you are ready, perhaps you will both find yourselves wanting more. You will have hard times, its for sure this young, but if you hold strong together, you will weather it all just fine and be stronger and more in love for it. Also, I would suggest going to a lamaze class. In the one we went in, they had a body suit for the men to wear and do a few every day kind of tasks (such as bending over to pick something up), and it showed them the exact weight in all the areas that we women carry it when pregnant. It helps the men understand what we go through as expectant mothers. This is pretty long, sorry. If you want to I'm me, my AOL is amybugaboobabe. Hope all goes well. Feel free to give me a buzz

Hi, I too can relate to you. My husband and I were younger when I got pregnant with our first baby. He said he didn't want any and here we now have five. People change, they grow, mature and their thoughts, hopes and dreams continue to change with them. I would have to say not to worry about how many children you want or he wants, you can always change your mind.

As far as him not understanding well he is a young man. I think like buggage said they don't really even know how to relate, they will never go through this. He is probably scared. Your futures can go in any direction at this point and things need to settle down a little. They will. You are still pretty newly married and there have obviously been a lot of changes in your lives. Give it time.

You should try to include your husband in your pregnancy. He does have to realize that your body is changing and aching. He should talk to other men. Not all women's pregnancies are the same and he needs to realize that your body is working all of the time. It can be very exausting. I don't suggest you take advantage of the situation but do be honest with him.

I wish you the best. Take care and relax.

I totally understand. Sometimes when you are young things can be very scarey. I have to admit that I sometimes ask myself how my life ended up like this. Is this really what I wanted? I think that as long as these are passing thoughts, then it's okay. You need to keep talking to each other. Be honest and really listen.

Hi,
Talking with one another helps a lot.
But, at 19, you both are still young. If your husband spends time skating with his friends, instead of finding things you both can do together, then it's time to talk with him, seriously.
Sounds like he is just too young to take on all the responsibility of marriage and a family. My first marriage, she was 19, me 24, ended in Divorce, after 7 yrs.
I really suggest you both go talk with a Marriage Counselor, or even go together and talk with someone confidentially about this; such as a Minister, Priest, Rabbi, or someone else, who you both can confide in.
Having a family at such a young age is really "scary" to some, and your 19 yrs old husband has to "grow up" fast! I am 64 yrs old, now married for 29 yrs.
I do wish you both the best, and hang in there. Talking with someone together might be the only way you will salvage this marriage.

Okay I'll confess when my wife said she was pregnant with our son, our first I didn't have a clue what she was talking about,and as she got further along and started acting weird she was really pissin' me off ,I mean, who wants tacos at two in the morning. Thank god my Dad sat me down and explained the difference of being a father and husband and just makin' babies. I was scared as hell and wondered if I was man enough to provide for a family. Well that was then this is now and I have been their for the birth of most of my grandkids and loved every second.
I especially use to trip because my wife would lay her stomach against my back when the kids were kicking inside her WOW WHAT A RUSH!
Your young man will be fine once he gets his head around the idea and if he has the support of other responsible males.

Men have moodswings too. I know mine does. We're close to each other and he knows when I'm upset and in turn gets upset cause he doesn't know why I'm upset. I'm currently seven months preggy with our twins and he doesn't know how to handle me sometimes... I admit I can be a real hand full when I don't keep myself in check. I would suggest you sit him down and a non emotional point and just talk to him about everything that's bugging you. I think you'll be surprised that the same things are bugging him. Keep those lines of communication open, don't hide how you feel. Realise that your on an emotional rollercoster and that you may not always be reacting like you normally would. I know I usually take a step back and ask myself would I react like this if I weren't preggy. If it's a yes I continue to react that way... if not I take a look at what's really bugging me. I write a lot of things down so that I can go back and look at them when it's not the heat of the moment so to speak. You are young and so is he but that's no reason not to talk. Make sure you talk to him and that you both have someone else to vent to. It can make all the difference in the world.

At this point in your relationship, and often never, at times each party has a hard time being perfectly honest with each other.

For example, I am sure your new husband had a lot of plans that did not include a baby and a lot of the changes that will cause. And expense. Life for a married couple at 19 is hard enough but add all that comes with it, to be honest while most men say they are glad, most are really not, they normally are once the baby gets here, but until then, no they are not.

And to talaniman, my wife wanted Burger King Fish Sandwiches at 2.

Had to spread it around, Myth but I agree talking together is the key!
By MYTH

Quote:

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You are young and so is he but that's no reason not to talk. Make sure you talk to him and that you both have someone else to vent to. It can make all the difference in the world.

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In many cases, the men seem to think that pregnancy is an 'exclusive' symptom and they keep their distance out of fear. Sometimes it also is how they were raised around pregnant women - it's new, it scares them - and they just don't know how to act. In instances like this, when the women don't understand and/or try to get them involved in the growth, different stages, and closeness - it could happen that the poor guys are jealous of the baby before it even gets here. And of course if they don't get reassured that the baby is not going to push them further into the background - they naturally feel that all they'll be good for from now on is make money and provide for the 'family'.

So, may I suggest that you find a nice internet site that shows the stages, explains what the baby is going through, let him look at the pictures and help him understand that he's a part of it.

Try to reassure him that there is no need for fear or jealousy; just that newborns are very helpless and need both parents to develop and grow. That's how we all started. Encourage him to take an active part. After he's visited the sites a few times, he might understand what you are going through and probably will offer to massage your back or your legs after a long day at work.

This is just as new to you, and even though people say that 'it comes natural to us' to be pregnant - hey we are scared from the moment we find out we're pregnant. We even have nightmares; worries galore, and wonder if we'll live through the birth - from all those horror stories we've heard. We also wonder if we are still attractive, because when the men keep their 'safe distance, so as not to hurt us', we think, oh boy, I don't look sexy anymore... Need I go on?

So, please find a site that makes becoming a parent a little less frightening, enjoy learning together and ask as many questions that pop up.

You could also try to get him to take pictures of you for the Baby Book; let him comment on the movements; get the baby to give Dad a little kick to his back.

He just might be curious but afraid to admit it. So, talk to him, get him involved, and don't worry about the second baby. Take one at a time.

Good luck, dear, and please keep us posted.

http://www.pregnancy-info.net/pregnancystages.html
http://www.babyfit.com
http://www.askdramy.com

Try the sites if you have not found a favorite of your own yet.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Had to spread it around Tal, but I wanted TACOs at 2 in the morning!!

Still do sometimes.

In compliment to chery's post here are a couple of sites that have really helped me so far... Still haven't found a good twin site yet... Oh well.

www.babycenter.com
www.about.com