I am so confused at the moment. I have had a year of self destruction and its getting to the point where I'm not sure if I can carry on. In May I got together with a man who is so wonderful, entertaining and warm. I had never met someone as amazing as him. And we had an amazing time together.
The only trouble was that I went away a month after we first got together. Things were OK at first, about one month into my travels I officialised things with him.. I think this was my biggest mistake. After 2 months of not seeing him he began to feel like a distant dream.About 2 weeks before he came out to visit me (something he had booked during month 1) when I was drunk I slept with 2 people (not at the same time! But within 2 weeks of each other)I felt awful and terrible. It was the biggest mistake(s) I've ever made and I know how it must seem to you readers - that I didn't care about my boyfriend. But I ahd a HUGE problem on my hands and the lack of communication meant that telling him woud be either be very crass via email or very public via skype in a busy internet café. I decided that as he had booked his flight that I wouldn't tell him. He came and we had an amazing time. Im not sure how I didn't think about what I had done.
I am still with him now, and love him more than anything. Our relationship has developed and I can truly say that I have never met anyone like him. He is absolutely amazing. We live in different cities and see each other once a fortnight.
But I have really complicated things and cheated on him again, 6 weeks ago.
This time there are no excuses. But I cannot decide whether I should tell him or not. I think that I am in more pain by not telling him and see that as a punishment. But also understand that losing him is the ultimate punishment especially as I love him so much. I can't explain why I did this. Especially to someone who seems so perfect for me.
Help!

Look,

You're running this guy around, saying you love him, but to be perfectly honest, you wouldn't have cheated AGAIN.

Come clean with him, don't ask for his forgiveness or to take you back, because clearly your not ready for a relationship, you know?

You need to be honest with this guy, and tell him everything you've done. I suggest talking to him in a place where you both have your own cars so you aren't stuck being around each other after talking about it, and he leaves.

Yes
You tell him and hope he forgives you but not likely.

Will you ever cheat again??

To be honest you have two choices here, I think.
You can either tell him and see how it goes or not tell him and break it off. Neither him, or you will ever be happy in this relationship unless there is honesty. I bet he has noticed that you are different towards him and you obviously feel terrible. Prolonging this limbo situation won't help him or you.

I feel bad for the guy. He didn't deserve this. What he does deserve is the truth, give him that, so he doesn't have to carry around the question of why the relationship ended.

Tell him, then the balls in his court, but I'm sure you personally will feel a whole lot better either way, of course except for the whole him probably hating you and never wanting to speak to you again.

Yes! You need to have the balls to come clean with him, as you obviously have some serious problems. Then, I hope he dumps your cheating a$$ and you can feel what it is like to be hurt! You have no business being in a relationship right now. Cheating is a matter of character and stupidity! I hope you know that you can't fix stupid... so if I were you I would get to working on my problems real quickly.

Come clean because you have some issues to sort out, you cheated twice when you first met and then when you were so "in love" with him, you did it again. That's not love, its lust and no other way around it. This guy deserves better than how he has been treated

What a mess. Tell the truth, and let this guy go, to find a partner he deserves.

You have been selfish, and foolish enough at his expense, and chances are, you will cheat on him again.

If you truly love him, you wouldn't have cheated on him.

The guy.. sure as hell will be better off with out you in his life..

The least you could do.. is tell him the what happened.

Maybe let him leave with a bit of pride.


By the way..

( Learn to have some self control yeah)

I really agree with the above. I love Steve with all of my heart and I would never do this to him because I just could not... I would feel so guilty. I think you should some clean and get some help. Cheating is normally a psychological problem, and can normally be helped and not fixed with outside help (counseling). I would also suggest that you do not stay in that relationship because normally commitment issues are brought on my lack of maturity which I see that you have. Maybe you should try dating around for a while, and see if that works. A relationship builds from trust and commitment, and it sounds like there is neither so end it.