Did we have sex too soon and Im nothing special anymore?
OK; I have one. I have been reading the previous/current posts hoping to find one similar to my situation. I didn't exactly find 'the' topic/answer that hit mine on the head, so here it is. I am 38 yold and my guy friend is 36. We have been in each other's lives, known each other for 2 1/2 months. We actually met online (something that I said I'd never do). We met each other in person after 3 1/2 weeks of meeting one another online as we live in proximity to each other. I don't know how this happened, but my friend and I had talked on the phone, text, email, IM for the 3 1/2 weeks and when we finally met, he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. We kind of joked about that; and I said, 'yea, on certain accounts.' Those accounts were in relation to conversations that we've had in the past such as, when two people are together quality time would be required, we would join each other in the likes/interests of the other, etc. We both agreed on them. It seemed to me as if he wanted to pave the moment with the foundation of bf/gf prior to us being intimately involved. Yes, we did... that night. And it was WONDERFUL. My feelings were growing more and more fond of him from the first conversation we had on the phone. In his online profile he spoke of how ready he was to be married, and even during our phone conversations. He even mentioned a couple of times prior to us physically meeting, that he had a feeling that I just wanted to be online friends, chat buddies and of course I told him that I didn't as I have been showing him ever since we first physically met. I visited him approximately every weekend; if not the entire weekend, maybe a day here, a day there. Whenever we are together we're in our own world. We're touchy feeling, hugging, holding hands, lying in the bed together, cuddling, etc. Mind you, EVERYTHING IS PERFECT when we're together. My problem is, the in between time... during the week, I would call him, text and he doesn't answer my phone calls. Every now and then, I would log on to Yahoo Chat and we would chat a little, play online games and kid around, etc. So, on Friday I will autmatically know to expect to hear from him because I know he wants to see me during the weekend. I would always go over his house... he doesn't come to mine. Never has. Early on, as I started going to his house, his house was somewhat a wreck; as if no one lived there (until I went to his bedroom). His house was basically half way cluttered; but the more I visited, he began cleaning and clearing out... I mean I can see a TREMENDOUS difference from before. In between time, he would make a playful comment like, "I was down, out, depressed, and I thank you for givin me that umph to want to clean, and make things look alot better around here." I didn't think I was the reason he was motivated to clean, etc. So, I kept that in my mental, knowing that once my visit was over, there was going to be no more interaction until the next weekend. And in between time, I would email him, just reaching out and also letting him that I miss him, I wish he would reach out to me, and that I really enjoy being with him, etc. I emailed him that I felt like I was doing all the work, and that I don't 'chase men' well... I never have and I wasn't going to start now." He even told me once that he was going to hang out with my girlfriend, her boyfriend and myself (double date) but he stood me up... but still wanted to see me the next day. We kinda had a disagreement with that, but I still visited him later, even after he stated to me that my insecurities were rather discomforting, although I don't hear from him during the week... any phone calling done during the week is me calling him, only to get his voice mail. Then i asked him last weekend, 'so, what do I do when I am approached by other men? Should I say that I'm taken, or just talk to them, etc." He replied, "Well, do what you wanna do or say, I will support whatever you say."?? Last Friday I called him and left a message, and he called me very early Saturday morning in response to my message and he said that he was going to be out of the loop until later that evening and that he would call me later. Well, I was already uptight with the riff raff and the chasing, no phonecalls during the week.. when he called me Sat eve, I had unavailed myself to him and preoccupied my time with something else. He called me Sat twice within 10 minutes and the last message was that he tried calling several times but he got no reply and he stated that I am the one who complains all the time about him not calling me and there his attempts were... mind you; I only hear from him most of the time only on Fridays when he wants me to come see him. So Sunday morning I called him and he didn't answer, Sunday afternoon I called him and he had turned off his phone.. ignorin all calls. I am very much interested in him, but he doesn't seem to be returning the same interest to me. Or amd I over reacting?? He's the one who asked me to be his girlfriend and I was 'happy' that he did because I am really feeling him, but his actions don't parallel his proposal. I am getting a little inpatient; I try to pre-occupy my time in doing other things, but I think about him a lot and I really miss him. He comes across as insensitive when we're not together. Advice?? SORRY THIS IS LONG.
