Ask Me Help Desk - No plans Friday night

No plans Friday night

Thursday morning my girlfriend tells me she forgot to tell me about her company picnic this Friday. For employees only. Basically gets to go to a park for the whole afternoon. No work just hang outside all afternoon and play games, eat and just socialize.

Later in the afternoon my girlfriend writes to me...

My girlfriend just called me and asked me if I am available tomorrow night (friday) to celebrate one of her best gf's birthday. Her actual birthday is not until the end of June but we always do a girls night out to celebrate. I told her we did not have any plans so I am available. I'm sure you understand...

My reply... Sure I understand. You got a better offer. With a smile.

She replies... Thanks for understanding! Spending time celebrating my best friends birthday is important to me! It's not that it was a better offer cause spending time with you is also important to me but I see you much more than I ever see her anymore. Keeping those relationships is also healthy for our relationship right?

Am I reading too much into this? Maybe I got the problem? Today I feel like she is hiding something from me and I don't like feeling this way...

Dude - maybe you should brea kup with her. Only way she will change. You keep getting these bad feelings about her.

She is driving you crazy.

Before I can answer BLU, I have to know which g/f this is as I can't help but notice that you post a lot and am never sure any more, not saying you're a player but I do get confused. Also if this is the same g/f as in previous post then I would tell you that there are other issues involved here and has nothing to do with your g/f at all, so if you can clarify this for me, please?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Before I can answer BLU, I have to know which g/f this is as I can't help but notice that you post a lot and am never sure any more, not saying your a player but I do get confused. Also if this is the same g/f as in previous post then I would tell you that there are other issues involved here and has nothing to do with your g/f at all, so if you can clarify this for me, please?

Sure, when I first started here I wrote about other people and other peoples gf's. But, lately I'm talking about my current girlfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

Dude - maybe you should brea kup with her. Only way she will change. You keep getting these bad feelings about her.

She is driving you crazy.

Not sure about breaking up. But, just wanted to know am I reading too much into what I wrote here. Thanks

Honest open communication is the cornerstone that is solid enough to build any relationship on! If you feel one way or another the first one to answer your questions is your spouse(g/f) you just have to ask the question!:cool: ;)

You're reading too much into it. Way too much.

Dude - Your last few posts on the board have "insecurity" written all over them. You seem to be taking little things like this way overboard.

I used to think maybe it was this woman that was trying to manipulate you, but now I wonder if she just doesn't respect you.

I agree, I think you're reading too much into it as well. It's healthy for her to retain friendships while dating you, and it doesn't mean she's up to no good. At least this time your interaction with her was civil!

Dude - a little advice - this woman seems to be driving you nuts. You might want to give it a break and work on yourself an your confidence. All these little things shouldn't matter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueiman

Thursday morning my gf tells me she forgot to tell me about her company picnic this friday. for employees only. basically gets to go to a park for the whole afternoon. no work just hang outside all afternoon and play games, eat and just socialize.

later in the afternoon my gf writes to me...

my gf just called me and asked me if I am available tomorrow night (friday) to celebrate one of her best gf's birthday. Her actual birthday is not until the end of June but we always do a girls night out to celebrate. I told her we did not have any plans so I am available. I'm sure you understand...

my reply... Sure I understand. You got a better offer. with a smile.

she replies... Thanks for understanding! Spending time celebrating my best friends birthday is important to me! It's not that it was a better offer cause spending time with you is also important to me but I see you much more than I ever see her anymore. Keeping those relationships is also healthy for our relationship right?

am i reading to much into this? maybe i got the problem? today i feel like she is hiding something from me and i dont like feeling this way...

I agree with all previous posts BUT can I ask...

Are her friends only her friends?
Are they not mutual friends?
And is this b'day celebration just a girlie night out for all the girls?

If I remember correctly you been with her over a year you said. Her friends should be your friends too.

I don't understand why you are not invited? :confused: :rolleyes:

If it's a girlie celebration only, then let it be, you are looking too much into it.
And go out with your buddie for a lads night of booze drinking :)

If its not a girlie celebration only then... :cool: :confused:

Quote:

my girlfriend just called me and asked me if I am available tomorrow night (friday) to celebrate one of her best gf's birthday. Her actual birthday is not until the end of June but we always do a girls night out to celebrate. I told her we did not have any plans so I am available. I'm sure you understand...

If I understand this, she did ask you to go along and celebrate on Friday. Then that she also wanted to do the 'girls night' at another time. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT??

She did intend on including you. Maybe sometimes you just pick out what you 'think' you hear and don't listen to the entire issue. If this is the case, you need to work on your habit of expecting negative responses or constantly anticipating rejection.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Blue, your girlfriend is going to have a life outside of you. You can't honestly expect her to include you in everything that she does. Just like if you were having a "guys night out" or a trip that would only include you and your male friends. Couples need that. You need to be able to spend time with just "your" friends and not always have the girlfriend or boyfriend around 24/7. This doesn't mean that its an opportunity to be "bad" or up to know good. It sounds like there are some major trust issues. Or you get upset whenever she has plans that don't include you. Why is that? Do you have a reason not to trust her? If you do then really think about this relationship. You can't have a healthy relationship with no trust. It just doesn't work that way. But if this isn't about trust then its about insecurity. You are reading way too much into this if that's the situation. You have to get over it or she's going to pull away from you and possibly end the relationship. If my man got upset every time I had plans that didn't include him eventually id move on. Think about it. Just be aware of that.