I have spoke to all of you before and got great advice. Well I am back. As previously I was with a great guy for about 5 months and I thought he was the one. I n fact he even said I was everything he wanted and more and he with me. Well he sort of brushed me off, said I was too nice and he didn't have that feeling for me, but still wanted friendship. Well he called a couple times the past few weeks and I last text him(saying I am confused and hurt, but I get it so I know no more seeing or talking to you or being friends, so be happy, take care and tell the parents hello and hope you find what you want and happy holidays) Well I heard from him today and he said why would you think that. I said well you have someone else and I figure guys usually end it, even the friendship. So he said not me. I said I guess I liked you more than I should and I miss you. And he would call me from time to time and I said well if you ever want to do supper. I am so hurt, I care and I know in my heart the feelings are so much for him. I volunteer 3 days a week, work out, work every weekend, but it still doesn't make up for the loneliness at home and missing him. I want him to want me. I try not to think of him, or call him, but in my heart he is it with me. I have backed off but I want to see and talk to him. But my heart aches for him every time he calls. So with me backing off and trying not to want him, will he maybe want me ever other than a friend? He has time and space and goes out with others(and I have too, but he is it for me-I feel it me)so do feelings maybe come in time. If I am everything why doesn't he want me, Its just so confusing and hurtful for me> I am just so tired of being alone. I thought 3 years after my divorce I wouldn't be alone. It is just so hard out there, to find the decent nice people. It seems no one wants me other than for friendship, that's okay, but it gets old.

Ok so he wants to be friends but what's up with the "I guess I liked you more than I should and I miss you"? What does he mean buy he likes you more then he should? That sounds awful and if he cared for you why would he hurtfully say that. Then I miss you and lets do dinner? What and have casual sex after? I don't think he is for you at all and I don't think he takes the relationship seriously. And if you are everything he wanted then why is he pushing you away and making you feel bad? Well he is confused and you don't need someone who can't make up their mind on what they want. He is obviously seeing other people and I really don't care what anyone says its hard to be friends with someone you use to date... its better for you to stop answering his calls and messages... remove him from your contacts and move forward. Divorce is never easy and people are hard to find... real ones that is :). I know that even if my hubby and I divorced it would be difficult for me to find someone else and once you have been with a man for so long its hard not to have their companionship. I could only imagine how lonely you feel and my heart pours out to you, you have been through a lot of emotional struggles. You can choose to continue to feel this way or try to change it... this guy was a five month thing... its OK for you to move on... someone else will come along and you have to believe that there is someone out there for you. I think you need to feel good about you and wham... Mr. Right will be there. I know you said you where doing volunteer work and that's great but what about spending time with your girlfriends, going to the gym or taking on a much larger project (something that revolves around you). I think you should move on.

To xoxaprilwine. He is the 1st nice guy I have met in 3 years and he is the opposite of what I would have picked in a guy which is great for me. I fell in love with this man as I thought he really wanted me and liked me. We weren't intimate and that was fine with me as we were becoming great friends, but I fell for him and he didn't with me. So I am trying to find things to do to occupy me and my time. I do go out with the girls and work out but I work every weekend(fri,sat and sun)so my social life is nill. I volunteer tues-thurs. I just feel in my heart we were to be together and its just hard. I have no family left and my friends(they don't seem to be the same since mydivoce so its new friends I am trying to find now) But my heart is so into him and its hard to cut ties with someone so much like myself. So the friend thing has been hard on me and my heart. So thanks so much. Love hurts when you love them and they don't love you.

:)
U give him too much time and love drop him out and go on with your life if he call ignor it then go out with friend or window shop make yourself look nice a lot of man out there that want and need you. Yes man don't attract to nice sweet women some time you should learn to give hime hard time then he will chase you. If he call tell him you with somebody even you alone .then he will look forward to see you one day.keep yourself busy so you stop think of him. Good luck

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by packer04

I have spoke to all of you before and got great advice. Well I am back. As previously I was with a great guy for about 5 months and I thought he was the one. I n fact he even said I was everything he wanted and more and he with me. Well he sort of brushed me off, said I was too nice and he didn't have that feeling for me, but still wanted friendship. Well he called a couple times the past few weeks and I last text him(saying I am confused and hurt, but I get it so I know no more seeing or talking to you or being friends, so be happy, take care and tell the parents hello and hope you find what you want and happy holidays) Well I heard from him today and he said why would you think that. I said well you have someone else and I figure guys usually end it, even the friendship. So he said not me. I said I guess I liked you more than I should and I miss you. And he would call me from time to time and I said well if you ever want to do supper. I am so hurt, I care and I know in my heart the feelings are so much for him. I volunteer 3 days a week, work out, work every weekend, but it still doesn't make up for the loneliness at home and missing him. I want him to want me. I try not to think of him, or call him, but in my heart he is it with me. I have backed off but I want to see and talk to him. But my heart aches for him everytime he calls. So with me backing off and trying not to want him, will he maybe want me ever other than a friend?? He has time and space and goes out with others(and I have too, but he is it for me-I feel it me)so do feelings maybe come in time. If I am everything why doesn't he want me, Its just so confusing and hurtful for me> I am just so tired of being alone. I thought 3 years after my divorce I wouldn't be alone. It is just so hard out there, to find the decent nice people. It seems no one wants me other than for friendship, thats okay, but it gets old.

---

I think what I was trying to say is after everything you have been through and I know you have been alone for some time... go to the gym, join a program... get physically active... go for jogs, journal, read, go shopping and feel better about yourself. Sometimes we need to internalize what we are going through to come to terms with things. Since you have all this time I am just saying use it to your benefit and when he does call he knows your out doing something... maybe with someone else and you look good and your feeling better. Your not there to be "available" for him... if this relationship is hurting you, you know it's the wrong relationship for you. I know you said that you love him and he does not love you so... learn to love and appreciate yourself-work on your esteem issues (we all have them). I see you said you have no family left or real friends since your divorce but there are so many things you can do to build connections with people if that's what you need. Join an art class (do something from creativity) as it is therapy and you can get those unresolved feelings out on the canvas... just an idea. Plus you will meet other people-it can be one night a week you can socialize and build yourself up. As it goes for him... he may be sweet but not someone for you.

Quote:

---

And he would call me from time to time and I said well if you ever want to do supper.

---

Oh Packer, your so hurt, and wound up in your own emotions, your missing some really red flags here.

If he is with someone, why is he smoozing you??

Do you think she knows he wants to take you to dinner??

Under the guise of friendship, and knowing how you feel, why is he still calling, pushing your emotional buttons??

Because he is involved, and your vulnerable, and needy, don't fall for his hocus pocus.

Start NC, and keep it that way. Sorry. Love yourself enough, not to fall for someone who clearly cares more for his own agenda, than yours.

Tell the face in the mirror, you love them, everyday, and don't be led astray from that.