I am presently in a very difficult situation. After 12 years my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. Before I knew who he really was and that he had been cheating on me it was too late. I was so much in love with him. He was my first boyfriend. When he dumped me it was extremely painful but I was able to move on. He is married to another girl now but tells nobody that he is married as they do not live together. I totally cut of contact with him. He tried a couple of times to get back to me but I was not interested.

At one point I decided to respond to hos calls to make him know 'I was not mourning after him. WE started talking back with each other (on phone because we live thousands of miles apart). But we never talked about our current relationships. I am not in a relationship though. One day he invited me to visit him. I did not mind as I was sure I did not want him back. I wanted fun and I was sure we were going to have it when we met. I am currently visiting him and I am fighting to know whether I want him back. At one moment I want him at the other moment I know getting back together may only be a problem. But I know I still have some feelings for him.

The problem is I can not tell if he wants me back. The sex is good but it is not as it used to be. He is not as energetic as before, I do not know if this has to do with me or with the many problems he is having in his life now. Sometimes he initiates the sex and sometimes I do.But his intentions are still not clear to me.

Like I said we still don't talk about our relationships and I intend to ask him how his life has been but do not know how. Because I don't want him to know I may be considering a relationship.

I would be grateful if you can tell me how to go on with this situation.

Frendy

I would honestly steer clear of this man. Yes, you did date for quite some time - however, after he has hurt you the first time and clearly how he is now hurting his current "wife" if you will is any indicator of future behavior... than I suggest running far away from him.

People who truly love you for you and are loyal are out there. Once a cheater always a cheater. Like a famous song goes "Players only love you when they're playing"

I'm sure you're a fantastic person but this guy needs to be let go - No one deserves to be cheated on... no matter what the circumstance.

Never settle for second best... I'm sorry to say but you will get burned again if you fall back into that relationship trap with him.

All the best,
Brittany

If the first initial make up sex was not spectacular, it all goes down from there, then what do you have to look forward to? There was a reason you two broke it off and if not addressed, it will surface again. I would not enter into this.

But you're doing exactly the same thing as he did to you...

Only you're doing it to his wife...

I'm sorry, but you need to leave this man alone. He is married and you don't have the choice to take him back or not. He's married, he's already taken.

You're having an affair. He is cheating on his wife with you.

I'm sorry that he has hurt you, but don't ruin his wife's life the way that he ruined yours.

Wait... Correct me if I'm wrong but this guy is married and your sleeping with him?