Me and my girlfriend have been dating only about 3 months. We are very close and see each other very ofter, even though we live in different states. I am always either at her house or she is at mine. Out of a seven day week, I don't see her maybe 2 times. It has been getting harder and harder to get her to have sex. It seems like if I don't bother tying and leave it up to het that it will practically never happen. In the beginning it was much easier. It would be her that always initiated. Its getting worse as time goes by. At first we were able to have sex at her house, but now we don't do it until we are in my home on the weekends. We have skiped the last two weeks all together. I wanted to try and wait for her, but it getting crazy. Lately when I try to get sexual with her, she brushes me off. Our relationship is very new and shouldn't be like this. I know that she likes me a lot and probably loves me and I love her too. She has been under a lot of stress with school, so I though that was the cause. Im just out of answers. What do you guys think.

Have you considered she may want a relationship, not a sex partner, perhaps she wants to talk to share and do things together other than be in bed for the times you do see each other.

I agree with mike on that... women can change their minds and have right to do so... thats the thing we like to be stimulated mentally, intellectually and physically... to be romanced and cared for. If I was her I would probably do the same thing if it starts becoming all about sex. I honestly don't even think you guys should have had sex, you don't even know each other. Your relationship is very fragile and if I was you I would relax and do things together and have fun in getting to know each other.

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Originally Posted by xoxaprilwine

I agree with mike on that...women can change their minds and have right to do so...thats the thing we like to be stimulated mentally, intellectually and physically...to be romanced and cared for. If I was her I would probably do the same thing if it starts becoming all about sex. I honestly don't even think you guys should of had sex, you don't even know eachother. Your relationship is very fragile and if I was you I would relax and do things together and have fun in getting to know eachother.

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I think that you guys didn't understand be completely. We do things, many things, all the time. We see each other a lot and do everything together, from shopping to studying. We go out to dinner and do everything all normal people do. I wasn't expecting just sex or to be her sex partner, that's not what its all about. But at the same time I believe that I is a large part of a relationship. Trust me I agree with you. There is lots of romance and she is on my mind all the time. There is lots of care.

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Originally Posted by efrayb

I think that you guys didnt understand be completely. We do things, many things, all the time. We see each other alot and do everything together, from shopping to studying. we go out to dinner and do everything all normal people do. I wasnt expecting just sex or to be her sex partner, thats not what its all about. but at the same time i believe that i is a large part of a relationship. trust me i agree with you. there is lots of romance and she is on my mind all the time. there is lots of care.

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Ok I understand that but again to put it bluntly 3 months is a fragile relationship... it's to early to determine anything and sex being one of them. It may have been too early for sex and women can change their minds just as men loose their interest... why else would she pull away? I am not saying by any means that she is not "into" you or that she "does not" like you but maybe she is trying to slow the relationship down. You are both moving too fast and you don't even have a relationship right now... your developing one. Think of a seeded flower in the ground and once its given nutrients, light, food and care it grows and eventually grows large into a beautiful flower... thats love and/or relationship building. Love is patience, support, care, forgiveness, sacrifice and selflessness. All I am saying is focus on those other things and get your mind off sex... did you try talking to her to see how she "feels" about it?

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Originally Posted by xoxaprilwine

Ok I understand that but again to put it bluntly 3 months is a fragile relationship...it's to early to determine anything and sex being one of them. It may have been too early for sex and women can change their minds just as men loose their interest...why else would she pull away? I am not saying by any means that she is not "into" you or that she "does not" like you but maybe she is trying to slow the relationship down. You are both moving too fast and you don't even have a relationship right now...your developing one. Think of a seeded flower in the ground and once its given nutrients, light, food and care it grows and eventually grows large into a beautiful flower...thats love and/or relationship building. Love is patience, support, care, forgiveness, sacrifice and selflessness. All I am saying is focus on those other things and get your mind off of sex...did you try talking to her to see how she "feels" about it?

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I see what you are saying. I haven't tried talking with her because I'm afraid the response I will receive. Maybe everything is just fine and she is just under a lot of stress with school. Maybe her mind is somewhere else. I just don't know. I know that things are very stressful for her right now. I don't mind don't get me wrong, if that's what it is, ill give her as much time as needed, it not all about sex. I would just like to know. I'm afraid to ask her because I don't want to seem pushy, I do love her very much. I would do what ever makes her happy.

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Originally Posted by efrayb

I see what you are saying. I havent tryed talking with her because im afraid the reponse i will recieve. Maybe everything is just fine and she is just under alot of stress with school. Maybe her mind is somewhere else. i just dont know. I know that things are very stressful for her right now. I dont mind dont get me wrong, if thats what it is, ill give her as much time as needed, it not all about sex. I would just like to know. im afraid to ask her because i dont want to seem pushy, i do love her very much. i would do what ever makes her happy.

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Well start by telling her how you feel, how much you care for her and how much you respect her then ask her how she feels about you and the relationship... don't interrupt and absorb it. Then say, its been weeks since we made love last and I know your under a lot of pressure and I completely understand but is our relationship going to fast? And Have I upset you? Or Do you just need time? Because I love you and I will wait for you as long as you need me to.

At least this way you can see what's going on... kind of hard to get into a woman's head :). I am sure its stress and she may be preoccupied with school or it could be something personal or family related. You won't seem pushy this way but rather concerned, supportive, understanding, patient, and caring. Best regards.

If you can't TALK about sex, you shouldn't be HAVING sex.

The intimacy of the mind in that area is just as important as the intimacy of the body.

Synnen is right. But somehow it can be scary to talk about something so intimate. You must talk about your bodies and their interaction. Or give up on the physical interaction.

Being a woman, I'd like to put in my two cents. No matter how stressed-out about life I get, orgasmic sex is always a panacea for me. If I don't have orgasms, the guy might be great, but only as a friend. It's possible that her psyche is as April has so eloquently described. If she is like me, you know what the issue is.

I agree that in part with the answers given but at the same time sex is a very important part of a relationship and the lack of it shouldn't be ignored.. try to have a chat with her and see what's going on with her.. also try to make her feel sexy and important to your life.. eg bring her out to dinner, surprise her with something special etc I know that if I feel wanted and loved in a relationship I want to be closer to my partner and what's a great way to do this..? :D

You have to leave the young girls alone... that is my impression of what is going on here, right?

Young girls want a boyfriend but usually aren't interested in sex except to hold a boy.

Remember, it is illegal to have sex with a girl under 18.

How Old are you both?

If you live in different states you obviously can't see each other often... and long distance relationships never work, and 3 months in different states you can't be that close yet. Regardless of what you might feel.

It sounds like you two are too immature to be playing with fire. How about waiting until you are both old enough to have your own place.

And if you see her onece a week its not about a booty call. I'll bet that's exactly what she feels it is.