I have a 13 year old son. He is good looking, plays sports, gets good grades and all that stuff. The problem is he is terrified to be alone in a room in the house. Especially at night. Have any of you experienced this? If so, what helped you?It's been going on for many years and I kept telling myself he would grow out of it but now I'm truly worried about him.

He needs counseling, there has to have been a issue that is causing this.

So what do you do currently when you all have to go out, or at bed time

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

he needs counseling, there has to have been a issue that is causing this.

So what do you do currently when you all have to go out, or at bed time

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He is fine out side of the house. Will go off by himself at the mall, store etc... but then he isn't truly alone. Only by himself. Bed time is treachorous! He starts getting anxious and clingy at just the thought of having to sleep in his room. I will sit in his room on the computer or with a book and read a book until he falls asleep, but this means at some point in the night he will sprint through the house screaming MOM!! And land on my bed crying and terified of what he either cannot or will not tell me. We have tried prayer, meditation, music, relaxation C.D's deep breathing. Nothing has helped. I had him seeing a therapist for a while but my son didn't open up to him at all.

It depends when it all started. When he was younger? Just recently? If it was when he was younger perhaps he was molested by an adult when you left him alone with a relative or babysitter? It's hard to get children to open up about these things but sometimes you have no choice. I specialize in this type of behavior in children and 8 out of 10 children I speak with have been molested by a family member, babysitter, or someone they don't know. Try speaking with him and asking him if anyone has even touched him or forced him to do something he didn't want to. If he starts to break down and get really angry with you normally you got your answer even though he didn't come right out and say it.

Interesting, like I said I was a stay at home mom until he started kindergartenand I always spoke to him about uncomfortable touches and such. He sais he understands and looks bored when I bring it up and maintains he has never neen touched in a way that made him feel uncomfortable. What else u got ; )

it's hard to tell without speaking with him personally. Any facial expressions he gives you when you try to speak with him about it besides looking bored? Because he may be living the nightmare all over again in his sleep and that's why he comes running to you

If something in that realm has occurred he certainly has no memory of it. Can I give an example? Its like, tonight. We went to play laser tag and the boys won some tickets. They were exchanging them for the cheap little toys and I asked him if he would get me this shiny stretchy blue alien with some of his tickets. He was happy to do so. We drop his friend off at home and about 5 minutes after ariving in our house he sais mom, can you please get rid of this alien? You know I hate aliens. I told him no , this is a nice alien. Maybe you should sleep with him and he will help you w your fears. So he tosses it to mare sitting ion the couch watching TV and I begin absentmindedly kneeding the little rubber alien between my fingers. He sai, mom, can you please stop hurting the alien? I didn't say anything then minutes later with anxiety clearly building he sais, mom, stop squishing his head. I said I'm just loving on him. To wich he replied no your not your killing him and whatever you do to him he will do to you so please stop. He said this quietly and with tears in his eyes. Where does that come from. What a horrible thought to cross his mind. This kind of thing is constant. How can I help him??

He might have seen it in a movie. Perhaps when he stayed over at a relatives house or a friends he watched a movie where there was a toy involved and the toy turned out to be a real life thing came and did the same thing to the person who was torturing him. He's scared for you. He doesn't want anything to happen to you. Is there anything that occurred in your life when he might have thought he would lose you?

That's really perceptive. Did Imention that? It has been just the 2 of us for seven years. Last year I dated a guy for three months who I broke things off with just because he didn't seem like the right fit fot me. Well, Mr. MAN goes psycho. This includes my getting restraining orders on him and added security to the state office I was at the time employed. My X and I both thought it would be best if our son stayed with him for a few days until this blew over. There was no reason that he should have to witness the drama. Well, The crazy fest guy sent emails to all of my family members (including my son who at the time was 11) stating many horrible things. Among them though he told my son that his mom is a whore and when she is taking care of you she is using drugs and he is so sorry for all my son will have to go through because of me. SO... YA... Guess u could say that had a big impact. He is constantly worried that I'm going to die, get killed, date another "wrong" guy that will go psycho but this time kill me or maybe that one will. So yes, he worries. But all I know to do is tell him that I am the mom. I will take care of us. I will protect us. But remember also, his fear and attachment issues had been going on long before creepo came into the picture

It might also be the divorce too. When my parents divorced I had the same problem where I was attached to my dad. Because my dad works a job where he's gone for 8 days and home for 6 I would cry non stop when I was at my moms because I wanted to be with me dad. Although it may not be the same issue he will probably most likely grow out of it. I was 3 when the divorced and was starting high school when I realized I needed to stop. And then I dealt with the divorce in a different way. I started having anger issues. I know it seems like it's taking him forever to get over his problem he will get over it. And if it continues maybe try therapy again. But the first time he goes you should speak with the therapist and tell him everything that happens and what your son does so he will get an idea of what's going on.

Thanks. I appreciate the borrowed hope!