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-   -   Visitation rights without the courts? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=280841)

  • Nov 14, 2008, 08:52 AM
    ross1238
    Visitation rights without the courts?
    My ex and I split up 8 months ago and for six months she would let me see our three children whenever I wanted overnight or just for the day. Recently I started dating again. I told her that I had found someone and that I was happy now she's telling me that I can't see my kids. That her lawyer says it's not a good idea. We haven't gone through the court system yet. What rights do I have? Can she stop me from having my kids on the weekends?

    {mvoed from Intoductions - <>}
  • Nov 14, 2008, 08:56 AM
    ScottGem
    You have the right to see your kids, but you would have to go to court to enforce those rights. Unless she is willing, you can't force her to allow you visitation without a court order.

    P.S. Please pay attention to the site rules. I moved this from the Introductions forum which is clearly marked as NOT the place to ask questions. We hope you go back and post there with a little something about yourself.
  • Nov 15, 2008, 05:58 PM
    cadillac59

    If you are not in the court system why does she have a lawyer? Is she expecting to get into court on this soon?

    You need to simply file an action for something like divorce if you were married (we call it dissolution), a petition to establish parental relationship if not, or what we in California call a Petition for Custody and Support of Minor Children (which is a fairly odd type of case you rarely see). In that case file a motion for custody and visitation and get orders on when the kids are with you. You'll get overnights if you want them and also on weekends.

    She's just pulling this nonsense on you because you are not with her any more, is probably jealous, and it's a way of striking back. Don't put up with it.
  • Nov 15, 2008, 06:16 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Are you married, ex does not really tell us.
    Are you on the birth certificate ?

    If you are not married and not on the birth certificate you actually don't have any rights till you go to court.

    But you can not force her, so you have to play nice by her rules till you go to court.
  • Nov 16, 2008, 05:40 PM
    ross1238

    No we were not married, we were together for 8 years. I am on the birth certificates. Thank you for everyone's advice
  • Nov 16, 2008, 06:42 PM
    ScottGem

    If you are on the because you are their legal father. Unless she can prove you unfit, you have a right to see your children. The problem though, is youi have to enforce that right. If she refuses to let you have the children for weekends or even visit with them, you can't barge in and take them. You have to go to court and get a visitation order in place, then, if she refuses to let you have the kids, you can ask the court to enforce its order.

    On a side note, when you chose the Introductions forum to post in, didn't you see the notice that it was not the place to ask questions? To get to that forum you had to bypass several foumrs like Family Law and Parenting which would have been more appropriate places to post, may I ask why you bypassed them?
  • Nov 16, 2008, 06:54 PM
    ross1238

    Didn't see that stuff, very sorry. Was a little confused

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