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-   -   My relationship is falling apart (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=280720)

  • Nov 13, 2008, 09:00 PM
    bso
    My relationship is falling apart
    Hello!
    I have been living with my partner for almost three years now. We recently had a baby who is now 4 months old. I have a seven year old from a previous marriage. I guess the problem now is that he still expects me to tend after him hand and foot and I can't do that. I am also a middle school teacher, my oldest plays sports, but not anymore because my boyfriend won't let him, and I have to have dinner and a clean house before he gets home and take care of the baby and have a perfect body etc. First of all, he knew I was going to school to get my teaching degree and that I had a then four year old. He also knew that I was no size 2 or anything close to being a size 2 but a size 14 when he first met me than a 10 and then almost an 8 but I have gone back up to a size 12 and weigh 160 pounds. I am not very tall so the chunkiness is obvious. He has become so mean to me lately saying how I need to lose weight because my stomach is so disgusting and why don't have the house as organized and as clean as his sister in law (who by the way is a stay-at home mom) and why my oldest is rude to me (which I really don't think he is but he has his moments because, well he's still a kid and I don't expect him to be a "man" like my boyfriend says he should be). All in all, how do I end this relationship? I love him and I don't want to be alone raising my two kids and worst of all I think others are going to be judging me because I am not married and have two kids from different dads. What kind of role model am I? I cry myself to sleep almost every night because of the things he says about me and my son and well I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel that as a human he has no right to treat me this way but anything I say or do is dumb to him. What should I do?
  • Nov 13, 2008, 11:30 PM
    ylaira

    Its better to have kids from different fathers, unmarried than be a model of martyrdom. You got an emotional abuser and most likely he'll do this to your kids. It will kill their self esteem and a great hindrance for success. Would you lke that?


    The man who trully loves would want to see you happy with him, sees all the good things in you and not degrade you to feel pleasure. Your guy is miserable that's why he wants you to feel the same. Dump this! How? Kick him out of your place (do you own it?) and keep out the contact. Let your lawyer call him for child support.
  • Nov 14, 2008, 10:02 AM
    BottomRock

    Hi

    This is a know issue with people staying with partners. Well in this situation if you are capable of taking care of your Kids then better come out of the House and try be on your own. Because your son will have a bad impact on you as he is young and at his teenage you might be in trouble(as you are still Unmarried).
  • Nov 14, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Boristheblade

    I think you should try to communicate with him better, let him know how you're feeling. If this doesn't work maybe relationship counselling could be the answer-remembering there are children involved. However, if you genuinely try a range of methods to make your relationship work and you remain unhappy with how he treats you then you need to leave, despite how upsetting it may be.

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