I understand that we all are on here talking about breakups and waiting and space and giving time but now my question is after enough NC for you personally to know that your loved one isn't coming back, how do you know when your ready to get out and put yourself back in the field, and how do you know your not falling into the same situation and your not kidding yourself that you just want that feeling back again your quickly falling for anyone that gives you attention, and not being picky like you should and waiting for that special someone.

Experiences? Thoughts? Opinions?

As weird as it sounds, you just know when you're ready. When you stop worrying about your ex and how she is doing. I met a girl, now my fiancé, and we started talking just a friends and then it just grew and grew. We had a spark right from the start and I just loved talking to her for hours. We would text all day and I would grow tired of it

And you can truly say your happy and better off without your ex, and you probably would've never thought that while you were with her? Is that correct?

Nope, never would have thought I would be better off, but that's the funny thing about life. It will always lead to better things, things falls apart so better ones come together

And she wants to be back with you? Haha funny how that happens.

Ha ha I guess... We don't really speak about it, she brings up the past times a lot when we talk, looks at me whenever I go to the grocery store she works at and gives my fiancé the death look. She is constantly asking friends if me and her are "serious" it's all childish but hey, that's her issue not mine

Serious! Lol she's just your fiancé, that's not too serious. Haha but has she ever told you she regretted what she did or anything like that?

Yea, she apologized and back in June she saw me at a bar and sent me a text saying "So that's what I am missing out on now? Would you ever consider starting over"

Wow, good for you. Was that your first contact since the NC ? And how long was it? I'm not stirring up and bad feelings right, your okay to talk about this?

I'm fine talking about this. And nah, wasn't first contact. First contact was me saying hi and seeing how she was and then she myspaced me and then the texting started. And nope, no bad feelings at all, I'm more than over it by now ha ha

How long was it after you said hi to her? In person? And how'd she take it? Probably put you right back on her mind I'm guessing.

It was 5 almost 6 months before I finally spoke to her, she would send an occasional text that I would ignore. She found out I was thinking about moving out west and sent me a "goodluck" text... Yea it caught her off guard and made her text me asking if everything was well with me ha ha

I was just going back and reading some of your first posts way back, and I see you sent your ex a letter, how did that work out? I'm so intrigued by your story because it is very comparative to mine, except I truly haven't said a word to my girlfriend in 11 days. :(

It didn't work out well at all, completely ignored it. After I was ignored, I got angry and serious about NC and it truly changed my whole outlook on everything. Staying NC is the best route man, I regretted sending that letter as soon as I did it

Good to know because I seriously thought about it, you know that feeling that you have to tell someone how you feel and how you've changed or will change for them, but I haven't, I haven't done anything I haven't really even thought about picking up my phone texting or calling her at all, this is what she wants and I respect her for it, so your ex never really contacted you after 5 months? You just said hi?

All right guys, I am en route to Jersey right now. Let's go to the nearest bar and grab a beer... cause a beer sounds really good right now. (When doesn't it?)

Eh, she would send texts every once in awhile testing the waters, talk to my parents and ask my friends how I was doing. Then one day, I just felt like I was OK, so I walked up to her and said "hi" and sparked a conversation with her.

What part of Jersey ha ha

I'm in monmouth county!

Burlington/Mercer county here