I've Been With my Boyfriend For Almost 2 Years Now. I Recently Moved To Florida From New York 4 Months Ago To Be With Him Aand Start a Life Together.But Things in the bedroom Have Went down hill I Don't Remember When Was The Last Time We Had Sex.All He Does Is go To Work Come Home and Either Play Video Games or On The Computer.. But When He Goes On The computer He Always Locks Himself In The Guest Room.. I've Asked Him Many Of Times Why We Don't Have Sex Anymore Because Communication Is Important.But He Always Gets Mad At Me, So I Don't Even Bring It Up Anymore.. When I Try To Touch Him Below The Waist He Pushes Me Away And Says Hes Not In The Mood Or Hes Tired:confused:it Shouldn't Be Like This Because Im 21 And Hes 23.. I Know He Loves Me He Treats Me Like A Women Should Be Treated Hes A Full On Sweet Heart The Only Problem Is We Don't Have Sex I Really Don't Know What's Going On I Need Some Advise please help:(

He is either watching porn and masterbating or he has a online girl/boy friend.

So take the lock off the door while he is gone one day. Put a porn blocker on the computer

I don't know for sure what he's doing but something is obviously up if he's locking himself in a room.

Addiction are a very hard thing to break. There is a wealth of information on porn addiction on the internet. Chuck has it right. Put a porn blocker on his computer or get out of the situation completely.

That's not addiction... he has something going on with another woman (or man).

I'm really sick of this blame everything on porn. THere is zero evidence of this... but every bit of evidence he's fooling around.

Sometimes the games have an effect on the sex drive... games are addictive too (sometimes worse then porn)... I am sure he is watching porn but you don't know that he is in there doing that for sure. I think smoothy is right; he may be seeing someone online. Have a look into it.

Check the computer to see if he is seeing someone online, check his emails and IMs.

OR...

It could be that when two people that have been together for awhile lose a lot, i.e. being intimate.

He may think that sex with you (no offense) has gotten boring.

Err maybe just maybe it's a sexual organ problem or maybe sexual orientation problem?just saying this cause everyone seems to think it is porn or something.

Well wasn't really spying, I wouldn't call it that, I was telling the person to basically make sure that there is evidence before you jump to conclusions and confront him. Sorry if it came off like that.

Yes, always good to have evidence, before you go confronting, and assuming the worst. You will REALLY loose him like that, for he will think that you don't trust him.

Even if you did get "evidence" of porn use don't throw it in his face... I personally know that it won't solve anything... I wouldn't go looking for it either (around the house) because it does nothing good for you. You had the same problem as me, he won't talk about it and his temper would flare dangerously at the smallest things... thats the issue. You have to maybe change your approach in "how" you say it and use careful words, if he doesn't want to deal with it, to me its saying he doesn't want to contribute to the relationship and you should get outtie before it gets worse. I do agree you are too young to be having sex issues.

I still don't think it is "just" porn or "just" games... it may not even be either or as smoothy said... I would through in the spyware to see if he is cheating NOT to interrogate him about the usage of any other personal x rated material. Obviously if you continue to have these problems now... jut imagine what it will be like three years down the road?

That's just me though, best of luck.

Hi, ^^
What's the point of speculating?
Speculation is not a solution.
But yes I do agree that to solve something you should understand the whole thing.
But still, too many speculation is NOT good.
I think you should NOT spy on his computer either. If he locked himself whenever he is on computer, he meant "MY PRIVACY" and you don't want to offend him.

I think it is BEST to confront him & tell him how you feel. But becareful not to ask silly questions such as "what are you up to? What are you doing locking yourself in?"

Or, if you want his attention, just DO something similar like he is doing. So that he knows how it feels to be ignored.

But one thing for sure, IF he does not appreciate you being here with him and if he shows signs of feeling burden of your presence living with him THEN you should NOT waste more of your time to live with him. ^^

If you talk to him keep a simple point in mind. The concept is easy but practicing it is hard as hell.

If you want to get an answer from someone. Do so in a way that will not put them on the defensive. If they perceive being accused of something they will be defensive and not forthcoming with answers and might even become hostile.

If the same question was made in a manner that was not confrontational or accusitory they might give an honest answer and not become upset.

Its just human nature.

Do either or both of you take drugs or alcohol. That can cause a sexual relationship to deteriorate rapidly.

Get rid of him. My ex of 2 years was the same way except not always totally sweet. He would literally get mad at me for trying to bang him. GET RID OF HIM YOU CAN DO IT . WHY THE HELL WOULD A HOTTIE LIKE YOU NEED SOME DIRTBAG THAT DIDT WANT TO TOUCH YOU? That's how I handled it.

You don't have to accept anything or settle for an unhappy relationship. He does not care if he hears your cry but not listening to what your saying-he does have a problem. Do you really need a roommate? You can't even call him a friend! Question is do you really love him to have to put him first and yourself second? Are you ready for the long-hall? I want to hear more about him and your relationship... how much have you invested in this relationship? Can you cut it off... what are your circumstances?

Try to fake him that another guy friend has a crush on you and you really need his support or help. Play it cool it worked by me big time

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Originally Posted by lazer

Try to fake him that another guy friend has a crush on you and you really need his support or help. play it cool it worked by me big time

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Why in the world would she want to fake a relationship with someone else to keep a guy that does not care about her, is abusive and self centered?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MissBWleh

Yes, always good to have evidence, before you go confronting, and assuming the worst. You will REALLY loose him like that, for he will think that you don't trust him.

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What are you a damned PI? Yes, it's good to have evidence but the means of which you suggest that she gets the evidence is violating someone's privacy.

By the time you need to spy on your boyfriend I say it's time to end it.