Hi,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 wonderful years. It's been the best time of my life. Towards the end though I started saying really stupid things when I got mad and kind of pushed him away. He's starting med next year and I might be moving interstate so we broke up (his decision) because he's going to be extremely busy and whilst he loves me he knows what a toll it would be on me to support him during the stress. I mean I understand what he means, I say stupid things even without the pressure.

We saw each other on Monday to discuss the break up and ended up having the nicest day. We had lunch, icecream, went to the park, ending up cuddling and kissing and saying how much we love one another and how much it sucks that we met so young. He suggested we get back together and I said no because his head was still in a really confused place and he needed to be on his own like he said. It was the nicest day ever. We both said that we love one another but maybe this isn't the right time for us. Since then he wrote me a message saying 'thanks for the perfect day. I love you and want to be the man of your dreams.' he's going away for two months and then were going to have another day like that when he gets back. I love him so much but it's going to be so hard. I really want to see him one more time before he goes away but don't want to push it.

Sometimes I think love is letting go so the other can pursue their own goals, dreams, but can you ever really get it back after that?

This might sound nagating but if you truly love each other it should work out, and definitely could work out.

However, I feel the same way as you did my girlfriend of 4.5 years left me 10 days ago and I have been in NC since, :(, but to my point to you, I feel that if she wants to go on with her life without me, or be with someone else, or pursue her problems without me, so be it. I truly mean from the bottom of my heart I wish her the best, and I hope she confides happiness in someone that loves her as much as I do, and she's successful and loves life. I've basically been living my life by the song my wish by rascal flats. Everyday for the past ten days I've sang that song at the top of my lungs on the way to work and it made me so happy because I want her to be so happy, and one time I broke down hysterical crying and I felt great. My lifes going places now and so is hers, I hope down the road we meet and start a family and get married like we planned.

I'll be more then happy to help you along your path. :D

Ok the whole.. I'm going away and its not fair on you.. crap..

is... Crap :)

if he really loved you and wanted you in his life.. he would have every.. effort to do that..

He would say.. Yeah it will be tough to be together and you have to understand I have a lot of work.. but I'm sure we can work this out.

I'm sorry but people that say.. I can't because of my studies and because I have to do my shopping 3 times a week..

oh and love.. should be.. I'm staying with you and helping you with your goals.. and I will do what I can to make your life better!

All that if you love someone let them go.. is Crap =)
you let people go for reason not because you love them and your holding them back in someway
it just... does not sound right does it.


I think it will be to hard on him and he can't be botherd with the effort it takes to run and maintaine a Long distance relationship.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Ok the whole.. im going away and its not fair on you.. crap..

is .... Crap :)

if he really loved you and wanted you in his life.. he would have every.. effort to do that..

He would say.. Yeah it will be tough to be together and you have to understand i have a lot of work.. but im sure we can work this out.

im sorry but people that say.. i can't coz of my studies and because i have to do my shopping 3 times a week..

oh and love.. should be.. im staying with you and helping you with your goals.. and i will do what i can to make your life better!

All that if you love someone let them go.. is Crap =)
you let people go fo reason not because you love them and your holding them back in someway
it just..... does not sound right does it.


I think it will be to hard on him and he can't be botherd with the effort it takes to run and maintaine a Long distance relationship.

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Yeah I agree I thought it was total crap too, but of a cop out.

But when we saw one another on Monday he was saying stuff like I want to make it work, I'll find a way to make it work and I was the one to say no just because of where he is right now. He's still so confused and if we got back together right now I don't think that confusion will go away. Also I get really stupid when he doesn't pay as much attention to me and it's almost certain to happen next year when he'll be so incredibly busy.

I think we both need time alone just to work thing out and to see if this is what we want. I always thought some time apart would be good. We're so young and have such a long way ahead of us (he's got four years of med, then prace and I've got to set up my career)we're going to meet up again when he comes home from his holiday in a month and a half and figure it out then. I think some time and space away from one another might actually be a good thing. Do you agree?

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Originally Posted by LifeChangesMan

this might sound nagating but if you truely love each other it should work out, and definately could work out.

however, i feel the same way as you did my girlfriend of 4.5 years left me 10 days ago and i have been in NC since, :(, but to my point to you, i feel that if she wants to go on with her life without me, or be with someone else, or pursue her problems without me, so be it. i truly mean from the bottom of my heart i wish her the best, and i hope she confides happiness in someone that loves her as much as i do, and she's successful and loves life. i've basically been living my life by the song my wish by rascal flats. everyday for the past ten days i've sang that song at the top of my lungs on the way to work and it made me so happy because i want her to be so happy, and one time i broke down hysterical crying and i felt great. my lifes going places now and so is hers, i hope down the road we meet and start a family and get married like we planned.

i'll be more then happy to help you along your path. :D

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I really admire what your saying. The fact that you want her to be happy anyway even if it isn't with you is fantastic. You're obviously a very decent guy. I kind of feel the same. It's ironic because I was the one who really encouraged my boyfriend to do medicine and I stand by that decision because it is his dream and I know he's going to be a wonderful doctor. We both don't feel as though this is the end.

maybe you need some time apart sometimes to be your own person, figure out what you want before you can establish how to factor the one you love into the equation. I hope so anyway. A lot of people I know have broken up with their partners for periods ranging 1 month to 3 years and have gotten backs together. My boyfriend said to me and I said to him that in the book of our lives we can see one another on the pages before and the one's after and we want to skim all the parts in between. Kind of unrealistic I guess but I really hope it works out. At the same time I'm getting on with life, already been asked out after a week! Lol but not sure if I'm ready to date yet.

No I live in Sydney Australia and have a cat lol

As long as you keep a strong head my friend..

And don't get your hopes up..

And live your life to the best you can everday.

Then good on you :)

Don't let people bring you down

Hey, I wish the best of luck to both of you. Things will work out for all of us seeking help out here, I hope I helped you. Good luck on your pursuit of happiness!

I believe it's a cop out too, love means sticking together when things get tough, not giving up because it's going to be hard to have them around. Life is hard, love is harder, if everyone gave up when things got too hard, we wouldn't be where we are today in the world.

I just went through this not too long ago, and personally, getting back with my man was the absolute best decision I've ever made...

Life often leads us down different paths, and we just never know where we will end up.

Letting each other go, to grow is a good choice. There will be strong feelings breaking that attachment, but it will pass as you get busy with your new life.

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Originally Posted by Bural21

I just went through this not too long ago, and personally, getting back with my man was the absolute best decision I've ever made...

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What ended up happening? Did you spend time apart and then got back together?

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Originally Posted by Lizzyb6938

what ended up happening? did you spend time apart and then got back together?

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We spent a lot of time apart, and realized where we went wrong - we spent far too much time together (giving us nothing to miss or look forward to), we argued too much, we both got jealous of friends of the opposite sex, etc. Then, we realized certain things need to be fixed, and talked about it. Ever since we got together - things have been good. :)

Maybe some time apart helps you realise stuff like that. We both love one another, maybe it's good just to have time off sometimes to assess your problems, both our problems and just figure out what we want