I was dating this guy for 5yrs on and off and I don't know what I'm doing anymore I lost all my friends I have no one in my life there is so much that is hurting me I don't know where to start.. :confused:

Start by reading the stickies on this forum. You chose a good website to come to as well. Sorry for your loss. It is going to be extremely difficult, especially after a 5 year relationship. Just know that everyone on here has been, or is, where you are right now.

Well... you started by seeking help.

How old are you?

Can you give us some details on the relationship and why it ended?

This will help us help you.

Yea I know but how do I let him go I always seem to run back to him when things get harder for me cause I know he is the only one here for me and I can't do that to him no more

Must be time to stand on your own two feet, and rebuild your life with friends, and activities, you enjoy, and learn to be happy with just you, and the things you do.

Its very hard, after so long with someone, but start today to love yourself, and be patient, and roll up your sleeves as the real work will begin, after you grieve your loss.

We have big shoulders here for you.

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Originally Posted by jmw0713

Well...you started by seeking help.

How old are you?

Can you give us some details on the relationship and why it ended?

This will help us help you.

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Im 29 from brooklyn.. It ened because I can't take his ways and the way he is and I didn't think loved him it was on and off with me and him like I broke up with him all the time

Well, from the sound of it the break up needed to happen. It is hard, even if the relationship wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Don't put your time together on a pedestal and over romanticise it... you two broke up a lot and WERE not happy together. Now it starts with you rebuilding your life for whatever you want to come out of it.

Yea we shouldn't be together cause all I'm doing it hurting him and it isn't far at all and I don't know what I want,

Just curious do you love him? How hard is it to not run back to him for you? Did you get to the point where you felt that his ways just couldn't be worked out? Did you break up or ask him for space and time to figure out your head?

Here are some ideas that may help.

Talk with your family. They are the people who are ALWAYS THERE for you.

Contact friends that you may have lost touch with and maybe talk to them or make plans to get together sometime.

STAY BUSY!!!It will help you not think of him all the time. Go to the gym, join a club, something that will keep you busy.

DO NOT CALL HIM. This is very important because it will bring up memories you don't need right now.

Most of all, know that we are here to help.

Do I love him of course I love him but am I in love with him no I don't think so. Well its not hard for me to run back to him I go back to him because it is easy because he loves me sooo much that I know he would do anything for me. His ways can't be workd out at all he has trust issues with me and he don't like me to have friends and he hate that I like to go out he makes himself old than he is. No we broke up

All right, well let me tell you something from my experiences. I was the MOST JEALOUS person ever in the history of dating. My girl wanted friends no way, wanted to do other things without me no way. BUT! Yes there's a but. I grew up. I realized that this girl I "loved" was everything to me and I wanted her to be happy, her needing to ask me to go out with people, or get not ask because she scared of me getting mad. Changed, gradually changed as hard as I could, I let her start with her girl friends, then gradually began moving up to her guy friends, and that's where we are today. My point is that if your saying that this man you love can not change, I don't feel he truly cares about you the way he should, or he doesn't know about the situation, because now-a-days instead of doing as I want I do whatever it takes to my girlfriend of 4 years happy. I just believe that if you guys truly care about each other it should work out. But maybe you shouldn't take my advice because my girlfriend of over 4 years just left me flat for some space 10 days ago with NC. Lol but look at me I'm doing just fine and happy I'm living my life I went on and did things with my new time and life, I love her to death she means the world to me, and only time will tell what's going to happen, but I've come to the fact that if she wants other people or whatever the case may be, I wish her the best, I just wished we got to speak face-to-face and I got some closure and got a chance to say goodbye to my world. (sorry I needed to vent there for a little, thanks haha)

Its sounds to me like we had the same kind of relationship with jealous and stuff like that. I tryd to bring him around my friends and I felt he looked at them all weird and stuff and he just didn't like them, and he said that my friends are bad and they aren't good for me. He wantd me to himself and no one was able to be my friend the only friends I was able to have was his and that wasn't far. But I'm sorry your xgf did it to you I'm sorry you gave your all and you got screwed in the end it is OK you can vent to me I don't mind

I think there is a lot to this story and I think you should let it all out... it helps so much and no one here judges you! :)

Shut up I'm getting there lol.. but I am

o.k no problem take your time :)

Honestly, I've been in NC after 10 days with her, and I feel WONDERFUL I am going to go to Devry for computer networking and communications management, I am doing well in school, concentrating on overtime at work, seeing my family, talking to my family, and my friends were still there. Besides the occasional thought of the love of my life I walk around with my head up high, because if she doesn't wake up and realize what she lost, someone sure as hell will come around and make me very happy and I'll do the same for them!

Anything else you want to talk about your own situation but I used to be just like he was, it takes time and him committing to you, maybe he has reasons whether good ones or not to trust you? I've been there. I overcame it, the fact now that I think about it, is she never even realized I've changed because she just expected to get crap from me after going out with other and stuff, I never really got the chance to say I love you, I don't care, and most importantly when you go out babe, I know your coming home to me. :D

Click on the YouTube video link I have. It will get ALL of your tears out. Play it over and over again. This is the greatest voice in rock right now. At first the song will be really, really sad. Just listen to it over and over again, and eventually you will pick up on the lyrics and it will help you...

Well here is another thing with me OK he has trust issues with me because I was with a girl in the mix of me and him not being together, and I have feelings for this person but me and her didn't work out either, I go back and fourth between girls and guys cause I'm unsure what I like more and what I want.

Well here we go! There's some light! Your just simply confused! Take sometime off from love and find your head, once you get a clear head you will be able to think clearly and figure out what you want. Ask for some space and time, and you'll know what you want when the time is ready, and you'll be right back no the road of the pursuit of happiness.