I feel a little stupid for doing this and embaressed, but here it goes. I was in love with the same man for about 15 years. After which I found out he was gay.We had been with boyfriend and girlfriend on and off all through high school and some time after as well. He was my rock and without him I would have never made it through some tough things. I have moved on with my life but eveytime I try to be with someone else, there is something always there to remind me of him. Sometimes it's a song, sometimes it's a phrase someone says, sometimes its always something. I am a very religious person and he used to be. We had a lot of hard things happen to us over the years and he just never undertood that I needed to find myself before I could truly have a relationship with him. And he mistaked a lot of my actions for rejetting him, but that istn what I was doing at all. He was special and I didn't want to treat him like just another guy. I was just really preoccupied with my survival and maintiang my sanity through the bad stuff. I just want to know if anyone else feels this way like there is somebody that they are meant to be with and the universe tries to stop them from being with anyone else. Thank you Imajen

15 years is a LONG time. It will take a LONG time to get over that. If you are still constantly reminded of him while you are dating then you are not over him, period. You guys have been through a lot together, physically and emotionally. You can't expect that to just fade, and it NEVER will. I don't think the universe tries to stop you from doing anything. I truly believe the universe sets courses out that are meant to be, no matter how much we tell ourselves it should't be like this. I don't know what else to say, as I am not that experienced in this situation. I feel for you and I hope you eventually will be happy (and you will).

KC, you hit the nail on the head, 15 years is a long time! You feel hurt and shocked to say the least about what you found out, so to think a couple months or a year will fully recover you is far from the truth, you will need to seek counseling and a lot of alone time to get back to the person you want to be.

So what have you been doing with your life while your waiting for the universe to get this gay guy back in your life? Not that it matters, but are you gay? Have you been lovers or something? Clear up my confusion please!

I'm going to leave this one to the experts. Lol

I am finally going back to school to become a social worker. I am the assistant manager where I work. Looking to buy a house in march. Have hobbies that keep my mind off things. In fact the only time I am reminded is if there is someone that seems intrested in me. And no I am not gay or a lesibian er what ever the term is. I guess is it possible to be nothing? I care about people and want to help be loved, but every time it gets romantic I shy away

P/s we never did sleep together cause when he tried I was only 17! Not ready!!

You will be all right. Don't put a time limit on things. You have an incredible life and you are an incredible human being. Love will find you. Just keep doing what you are doing. It is hard to move on, as I keep banging my head into a brick wall every few weeks, but hey, I am stubborn. I trust that you will find the happiness you are looking for!

Just curious, as to the last time you saw him or talked to him??

(am I nosey or what)

talaniman, It was about hmmm about the time of the bridge that colasped in Minnisota. I called him because I was worried aobut an old mutal friend of ours being in that area if she was on the bridge or what. Other wise we don't talk. He said he was going to call me back after I gave him my number but he never did. Oh and like 6 months berfore that he has asked my brother for my number but I told my brother not to give it to him because I was with someone and it didnt; seem right

So exactly what is stirring these feelings up, what is going on in your life that's has you thinking of this guy, now?

Sorry this took so long to respond, But its has always been like this for me about him. I just finally decided to give this a try. I tried finding online support when I had Fibromalgia and when my cat was dying. This was just harder to deal with. I will say this I do have a younger man flirting with me at work and I do like him but I don't like the idea of him being 11 years younger than me. I want to move on from his memory,(I 'll just call him Sam for now) but not. I want to learn to except the fact that he is gay and I have no chance and not have these break downs from time to time about him

K I don't know if my response posted cause its not here so it its twice mbad. It has always been like this for me about him. I'll call him Sam for now. Sam has always been on my mind, in the back of it and lightly whispering in my subconsiuos. I try to do the normal thing and forget him but it never works! And this is what drive me nutts. I just finally decided to try something new for it and that is this posting here . I will say this there is a guy I kind of like but I shouldn't like him because he is 11 years younger than me ! But he is the one that is flirting with me