I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months basically because he wanted to go out with his friends instead of me. Long story short, I wasn't thinking and I snapped instead of talking to him. I waited 3 days till I told him I missed him and wanted to still be with him. He said I broke his heart and he didn't want to see me because he was angry and needed time to think. So a few more days go by and I told him I was on my way over to his house. This was about a week since we broke up. Keep in mind throughout all of this I was constantly texting him and not giving him the space he wanted. I showed up at his house and he told me he is heartbroken and can't sleep at night, then he goes to work during the day and gets angry thinking about the whole situation. I told him I love him and I want to be with him. He told me he is really confused and doesn't know what he wants anymore. He still needs time and wants me to respect that. He said he loves me but we both aren't happy. He is also a firm believer that if you break up it's for a reason... I leave and of course the next 2 days I constantly text him. He doesn't respond until I begged him to let me know if he still loves me and I won't quit until I have an answer. Over a few texts back, he said move on, I'm emotionally and mentally not there anymore, I don't love you anymore, and I'm not your boyfriend anymore. Not what I wanted to hear. Did he actually mean he doesn't love me anymore? I don't believe it because I KNOW he did love me, so how can he not in 2 days. Did I push him to say that so I would leave him alone? To make matters worse, I snapped once again and sent him a bunch of insulting texts which I know hurt him. I love him more than anything. I screwed up and I'm willing to get help to control my temper. We had no major problems besides my temper and insecurities. I've left him alone since then but I am going absolutely crazy, I might have lost the love of my life, and it was all my fault!

Not very smart at all

Send bad text.. to someone when they have been totally honest with you.. and your insecuer as well. Which probable put him off.

I think if you would have just relaxed in this relationship and not tried to control him so much, things would have worked out different..

Every partener is allowed there own life.

He has made his choice. And he has told you how he feels

Respect that..

Nothing you can say.. or we can say.. will change that.. give him space like he wanted at the start
Move on with your life.

Lesson learnt.. its hard but you have to move on. He has

I certainly hope you learned from your very bad behavior, and don't make those mistakes again.

Deal with your anger issues.

I know I screwed up. I am willing to get help to control my issues. What is killing me the most is that I hurt him, the person that I love and care about the most in the world. I realize that he probably won't take me back. Is there anything I can do at least to make him understand how sorry I really am, for breaking his heart and saying nasty things to him that I didn't mean?

You acted in a selfish and hurtful way. The best thing you can do now is leave him alone. Unfortunately, he will probably never come back to you. I know that it hurts, but with time you will get over him. If you want something good to come out of this - then remember this lesson in the future.

I know your pain being insecure sucks but you will never be truly happy if you don't start loving yourself and relise that people are different and need to live their own life to have and to love some one must be fun not hard work...

My thoughts are with you xxx

You probably did push him to say that. I made my boyfriend feel that way once or twice too and now we are married. And happily married. So all hope is not lost. It definitely sounds like you need to get a handle on your insecurities. I know how hard that is as I struggle with that too. But he does deserve to spend time with his friends and so do you! I would say that you should send him one last text or a letter or something saying that you are sorry for everything, you love him and are willing to work on the relationship if he is and willing to listen to the things that bother him. And then at the end say that you will leave him alone and wait for him to think. And then DO THAT. Leave him alone and wait for him to come to you. Ask him to let you know either way... either he wants to work on things or that he truly does want to break up just as a curteosy so you can start to move on. Make sure you don't make threats like you can't live without him or you will never be happy without him. He will see that as deseperate and clingy. I have been there and I know how hard it is to sit and wait. Try to get out and do stuff while you are waiting. Go hang out with friends, take extra hours at work, etc. He won't want to see you sitting at home crying over him. He wants to see you as independent. Good luck... and I hope things work out... just remember that it can work out as I married my hubby after several issues like this.

You were selfish, he asked for space and time to think about things but it wasn't enough for you, you pushed and pushed until he snapped and said it's over for good. Now it's time to forget about it, put it in the past and move on.

I appreciate all your replies. This really sucks!

O.K you know you messed up... and it sucks, your right.. I don't think one more text could damage things anymore... but this one should be about your apologies and you will respect his wishes and leave him alone!!

Learn from the mistake and move forward do not dwell in the past on things you can't change. If you really even want a chance learn to deal with insecurities and anger issues.

As horrible as I feel right now... I am so lucky to have the friends I do... that make me come out, and as much as I don't want to at first... I feel so much better.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by debdoes

As horrible as I feel right now......I am so lucky to have the friends I do....that make me come out, and as much as I dont want to at first....I feel so much better.

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By going out you will feel better sooner. When you sit at home your mind wonders. Get out and enjoy life. Just don't head to alcohol because you will feel worse in the morning trust me :).

Ok... so I know everyone is telling me to move on and learn from my mistakes. Which believe me, I have learned, more and more every minute. So what if in a few weeks time I try to talk to him again? I messed up. And I do realize now how much and how to fix it. I don't think he would come back to me because I am the one who screwed up so bad. I know I have to wait a long time so hopefully he can somewhat get over his anger. But I know I can fix it and I know he loves me, he's just really hurt right now. Is it even worth me trying to talk to him and explain all the ways I could be better? Those texts I sent him though... OMG...

Another thing to is my friends all tell me to give it time, let him calm down from the rude texts I sent him. They seem to think it can be worked out. Maybe it's because they are my friends and are wanting to give me hope. Or maybe it's because they know how much we did love each other and saw how we were together. It's a lot easier to see all this in person rather than over a computer. I don't know, maybe I'm giving myself hope for nothing. Or maybe if we can get through this then things will be great!

I think you should work on your own issues.
Take the time to deal with and conquer your insecurritites.

Then focus on fixing your relationship.


As long as you have the issues you will never be able to fix the relationship.