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-   -   A Real Mother (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=279333)

  • Nov 10, 2008, 04:30 PM
    opander11
    A Real Mother
    My mom is the most complicated person you could ever imagine.right now we are in an argument, I got suspended last wed. for "supposedly" skipping when really I honestly wasn't.so she came into to clear my suspension today and my assistant principal lied to her. He said I was getting into a car with two "thugs" she took my phone last wed. and I took it back on Saturday then she took it back on Sunday.today she told me I was grounded permanently because I lied to her because of what my assistant principal said and she didn't even check the information on any of it.on top of that I got the suspenion at 1:45 and I get out of school at 2:15.why would I leave school for 30 minutes when she is the one that comes and gets me after school.so now I don't have my phone anymore and now she doesn't believe me on the whole situatuion.by the way this assistant principal doesn't even like me.my mom first sent a note telling my princi[al she couldn't clear my suspension in person he cut me off when I tried to show him the note and made me call her I called her and she told me that I would have to wait till she could get up there she baby sits and had to find someone to watch the kids while she came to clear it.I went and tried to tell him this and he started hollering at me to get off his campus.so I had to call her back and tell her this.when she finally got to my school she wants to talk to the principal but stops by the assistant prinicapls office so I can get a note to class and I'm not in there to defend myself and he flat out lies to her.so she comes to bring me my note and says I'm permantely grounded so of course that messes my day up and now I'm mad and I go to class mad and she comes and gets me out of class and tris to calm me down but she only makes it worse telling me I can go to that assistant principal and have him call her and explain everything to her.on top of that she doesn't treat my brother this way.. this is the first time I have gotten into any trouble this school year.but my brother is constantly mouthing or constantly arguing with her and all she does is threaten him.she never follows through when it comes to the punishment with him.he is a boy scout and a lacrosse player and he is on the rotc frill team.all I do is go to the local skarting rink on saturdays and talk on my phone in my room.but when I get in trouble I get both of those things taken away.when he gets in trouble all you hear is"i will not take you anywhere else"he wsa at one of his best friends house till 11pm on Saturday night I'm 16 he is 14 she comes looking for me if I'm at a friends house and its 9pm.why does she act this way?
  • Nov 10, 2008, 04:58 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    It is real simple, if you were in class that last period, you have that teacher go to the principal, If you were not in class you skipped it.

    Sounds like simple to prove it.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 05:05 PM
    simoneaugie

    Are you the oldest child? Does you Dad help her out at all? My initial reaction is that the Vice Principal has "issues" and your Mom is stretched too thin.

    Write it all down. Then go through what you have written and pick out the facts that have been reported. Write down just the facts. What is fair between you and your brother is not the issue. What is the issue?

    You Mom needs your help and support. Give it. She also needs to talk to someone about what she is dealing with. Listen to what she says. Don't whine or complain. Suggest solutions if you can and follow through on what you have agreed to do.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 05:18 PM
    opander11

    My Teacher was in the hallway with us when my mom and I were arguing.she tried to speak to my mom but my mom blew her off.and yes I am the oldest.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 05:20 PM
    starbuck8

    She does these things because she is your mother. She is trying her best to teach you responsibility, because that is HER responsibility. As far as the assistant principal goes. Whether she lied or not, it's still your Mom's responsibility to weigh the situation, and decide what to do. It's not an easy job being a parent.

    As for the way she treats your brother? Sometimes boys are raised a little different than girls. I'm not saying it's always right, but there may be reasons he gets more freedom.

    I don't know the things he has done that are wrong, but you said yourself, that he has things going on in his life. He is involved in Boy Scouts, ROTC drill team (*you said frill, but I'm sure you meant drill) and plays Lacrosse. You said all you do is go skating, (likely with your friends) and talk on your phone. (certainly with your friends) Maybe you need to get involved in some other things?

    How are your grades? Your Mom knew by taking away your phone, she had to take away something that meant a lot to you. You won't die without your phone. You just need something else to occupy your time! Maybe get involved in a sport, or something else that interests you. Don't just sit in your room and talk on your phone, or chat on your computer. That could be the next thing to go if your Mom thinks you are not getting outside and finding other interests.

    I know you are probably not going to like my answer at all, and I understand that. You are 16, and you are feeling like you should have more freedom. Especially more than your younger brother. But as you will find out when you grow up, but probably not understand now, is that parents disipline their kids differently sometimes, because they are individuals, and need to be treated differently.

    Cut your Mom a break, and I bet if you try and just get along with her, instead of getting into arguments, you will have more bargaining tools, and maybe some more freedom! :)

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