Ask Me Help Desk - Is this normal?

Is it normal that if you don't have sex for a long period it causes sad mood and anxiety? Because I'm feeling that way for some reason, is like I feel like I have to do sex but I haven't done it in a while, even though I'm very sexually active, I'm 19 yr old boy by the way

I think that it is normal to want to have sex on a regular basis as a young person but if its making you moody mabey there is something else too

The main answer you will hear on this board is no. Masturbation should help, a lot. That isn't my answer.

Wanting to share a sexual connection with someone is normal. Experiencing a sad mood and anxiety although annoying (or perhaps life changing) is going beyond the need for connection. For many of us, sex means acceptance. It is truly a connection with another person, but is not necessary for mood stability.

Personally, sex with another keeps me "sane." I know this is a perception based upon my need for acceptance and connection. Knowing that doesn't cause the feelings of sadness and anxiety to just go away. Feelings are real. Need is based on perception.

Getting focused on life as a whole and you as a whole and healthy person in it, is the key. Most of us are raised in a society that insists we are separate and alone. Marriage or a relationship is supposed to fix that. It does not!

Learn new things. Get into new, or what you've put on the back burner, hobbies. Meet people and develop new relationships. Improve the relationships you already have with truth. Tell yourself the truth. Tell others your truth with care, and love. Be real. Be vulnerable. The feelings of sadness and anxiety are what we feel when we are not connected with the fact that we are all connected. Intimacy is not just physical.

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Originally Posted by LILMAMA387

i think that it is normal to want to have sex on a regular basis as a young person but if its making you moody mabey there is something else too

Oh okay, because sometimes I havethis thing going in my head that I might be in the need of having a more active sexual life, but that's only me.. of course a lot of people will think differentely or not be active as other people is depending on the age.

Well you may be experiencing some sexual tension, but I doubt it would produce sadness unless you feel sex is all that makes you happy. Life is full of things that affect our mood, and sex generally isn't at the top of the list in terms of activities that make you truly happy. Love, giving to others, laughing, sharing with others, compassion, thoughfulness, family, and the list goes on; are generally thought to contribute to happiness much more than sex. If you want to address your feeling of sadness I would examine which of these you aren't spending enough time on rather than sex.

As for anxiety, the same is true; if you address the true reason for your sadness, then your anxiety will lessen.

The only condition I've experienced due to lack of sex is sexual tension and that means that it's all I can think about if I haven't had it for a while. Now I don't know if you believe in masturbation and I am not condoning it for someone who may have strong feelings against it; but whenever I am feeling sexual tension, masturbation relieves that tension and then I am not as focused on sex for a while.

Good luck to you.

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Originally Posted by Dude008

oh okay, because sometimes i havethis thing going in my head that i might be in the need of having a more active sexual life, but thats only me..of course a lot of people will think differentely or not be active as other people is depending on the age.

Having a more active sex life is a double edged sword. If you want to have sex more frequently with a steady girlfriend; then that is something you need to talk with her about and can be achieved if you work together.

However, simply to have sex with more girls without a relationship is potentially not fair to the girls and in the end, not very fulfilling. Great sex involves intimacy and trust; which is not available through one night stands. Furthermore, as you have sex with more people you will find that your needs are not fulfilled and you truly many feel unhappy, because it's rare that we need more sex, what we are really seeking is affirmation, love, connection; and these can't be achieved with simply increasing your sex partners.

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Originally Posted by TexasParent

Well you may be experiencing some sexual tension, but I doubt it would produce sadness unless you feel sex is all that makes you happy. Life is full of things that affect our mood, and sex generally isn't at the top of the list in terms of activities that make you truly happy. Love, giving to others, laughing, sharing with others, compassion, thoughfulness, family, and the list goes on; are generally thought to contribute to happiness much more than sex. If you want to address your feeling of sadness I would examine which of these you aren't spending enough time on rather than sex.

As for anxiety, the same is true; if you address the true reason for your sadness, then your anxiety will lessen.

The only condition I've experienced due to lack of sex is sexual tension and that means that it's all I can think about if I haven't had it for a while. Now I don't know if you believe in masturbation and I am not condoning it for someone who may have strong feelings against it; but whenever I am feeling sexual tension, masturbation relieves that tension and then I am not as focused on sex for a while.

Good luck to you.

Well yeah, maybe the right thing to say is sexual tension, and no.. Lol.. sex doesn't make me 100% happy but sometimes I just feel the need of sex, I'm not saying I'm a sex freak or anything like that, it's just that sometimes I just feel that way, some people say it's the age, and it can probably be true and yeah what you saying about the problem of lack of sex is what I been having for the last few weeks, I just keep thinking every minute of it, again I'm not a sex freak but that's what I feel

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Originally Posted by Dude008

well yeah, maybe the right thing to say is sexual tension, and no.. lol ..sex doesnt make me 100% happy but sometimes i just feel the need of sex, im not saying im a sex freak or anything like that, it's just that sometimes i just feel that way, some people say it's the age, and it can probably be true and yeah what you saying about the problem of lack of sex is what i been having for the last few weeks, i just keep thinking every minute of it, again im not a sex freak but thats what i feel

Well get used to being a guy, you sound perfectly normal. There were studies once (I can't quote them) that said young men think about sex once every 20 seconds on average. The way I felt as a young man I think it was every 6 seconds and more if I wasn't having sex on a regular basis, or spanking the monkey.

I think you are feeling sexual tension, I think it's normal and I wouldn't worry about it. I would just be careful that you hang on to your dignity and treat the ladies properly despite your desires.