Ask Me Help Desk - Sexual Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Hello,

I am trying to figure out if I was sexually abused as a child. I read that Freud believed repressed memories could lead to personality disorders and suicide, and I am worried. My mother asked me and my sister when we were in our early twenties if we could remember being sexually abused as children. She asked because my sister is a lesbian, and I am bisexual, and she heard from someone that the "cause" could be child molestation.

Anyway, I can remember touching my friends inappropriately in elementary school, and they reciprocated. They were always girls. Also, I learned to masturbate at a very young age (maybe 7 or 8) and did so frequently up until I was maybe 19. I also remember as a child (of maybe 8) making my 90210 barbies have sex. When I was a teenager, I thought about sex ALL of the time, and I often laid in bed for hours having sexual fantasies about celebrities, crushes, people I saw on the bus, and once I even remember having one about my older male cousin. I watched a lot of porn and masturbated maybe once a day, and sometimes more.

Now I'm 22 and I don't like having sex with my male partner. There's something that feels dirty about the whole act to me. Please help me! I would appreciate it so much if you could point me to something that I can research further. Thank you.

Well, I think that there's nothing wrong with that. It may be that you like the looks of men, but you don't like that act of "getting into the dirty" There are many women who don't like having sex, deciding that they'd rather be A-sexual. Being a sexual person is fine and wonderful, you get to be playful, as long as you aren't being perverted in public (some things are for the bedroom some aren't). You need to look deep into yourself and wonder. Nobody else can do that but you. It may be your nature, you could just be like that, but there are some things that surfaced because of child molestation. I don't think I helped overly much but I hope I gave you something to think about. I don't think that there's anything wrong with you. You're just a sexual person. You may not like the act of sex, and that is OK too. (maybe not for your boyfriend though ^.^)

-Absolute

Quote:

Originally Posted by Absolute

Well, I think that there's nothing wrong with that. It may be that you like the looks of men, but you don't like that act of "getting into the dirty" There are many women who don't like having sex, deciding that they'd rather be A-sexual. Being a sexual person is fine and wonderful, you get to be playful, as long as you aren't being perverted in public (some things are for the bedroom some aren't). You need to look deep into yourself and wonder. Nobody else can do that but you. It may be your nature, you could just be like that, but there are some things that surfaced because of child molestation. I don't think I helped overly much but I hope I gave you something to think about. I don't think that there's anything wrong with you. You're just a sexual person. You may not like the act of sex, and that is ok too. (maybe not for your boyfriend though ^.^)

-Absolute

Ha. Thanks a lot, hun, for giving me an honest answer.

Hello oh:

Yeah, people like to look for "causes" for homosexuality... But, it appears to me just to be a normal state that happens to some people. Besides, looking for a "cause" would tend to make one believe that since it was "caused", it can be fixed.

It can't. You're a homosexual. Go forth and be happy about it.

excon

Quote:

Originally Posted by excon

Hello oh:

Yeah, people like to look for "causes" for homosexuality.... But, it appears to me just to be a normal state that happens to some people. Besides, looking for a "cause" would tend to make one believe that since it was "caused", it can be fixed.

It can't. You're a homosexual. Go forth and be happy about it.

excon

I'm not a homosexual! Lol.. my sister is!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ohboy

I'm not a homosexual! Lol.. my sister is!

Hello again, oh:

Ok, half homosexual or bi... Same thing...

excon

Dear Oh boy I myself was abused multiple times throughout my childhood! I can't verify for you if you were but if you are worried about it maybe you could find a therapist whom you could talk to about your concerns. Do you feel sad most of the time or do you feel anxious when around others? I also had fantasy's about sexual encounters with celebrities, or men I thought were cute at about the age of 12. My councilor says that most children who are interested in sex or sexual acts were most likely abused at a young age so it's something to think about!

I was sexually abused by a priest when I was five years old. I am a 41 year old woman who is bisexual. You could read some books on the subject but which ones I don't know.:rolleyes: