Hello all. I went out on a date with a girl who lives about an hour from me, so the distance isn't really an issue to either of us. We went out last week, which went well, and then again just last night. Since the first date, she had been texting me a lot and always initiated conversations, told me how excited she was to see me again, and that she was thinking about me a lot. Yesterday she didn't text me at all, until I texted her in the afternoon checking when she got off work so that I knew when to time it and get there on time.

She didn't seem too terribly excited, but she wasn't cold or distant towards me. I think she may be a little shy, I can't say for sure. Anyway, we went clothes shopping for a bit, goofed around there and had some playful conversation, I was touching her a lot, we held hands shortly and kissed a little bit in there, which she didn't appear turned off or cold towards in any way, didn't pull away when I touched her.

After that, we went out to eat where we just talked some more, I was really tired so I wasn't my most outgoing self that night. I just had a feeling in the back of my mind that I was blowing it. The last 10 minutes or so, we had made out and held hands, and she was smiling while we kissed too. I can't explain it, maybe her shyness in initiating things like hand holding and kissing is confusing me, most girls I have been with were not afraid to do this, but she doesn't seem to. But if she isn't stopping it, what do you think? There were some silent moments, but it really wasn't awkward that I know of. We'll find out today if she texts me, if not, I'll assume we are probably through.

Paranoid much, or justified fear?

I think you are just over thinking this... Im 15 years old.. I know at this age if I don't want something I wouldn't smile. I would deff pull away and I wouldn't be texting you.. If she is Shy you can't blame her... Do you know any of her past relationship history? Maybe you are something special, a feeling she never felt before. You can't blame her for being shy this early into the pre relationship. I would be too. Talk to her about your past where you want to be in the future and learn stuff about each other.. You can't go on just making out you'll learn nothing and making out gets old after a while than everything will be gone.. you have to make connections.. find what you have in common. Try it.. It will work. And if she doesn't text you today.. You can't assume its over... Maybe she is busy. Text her around 4:30 if she doesn't text you before than and spark conversation.

You have only been on a couple of dates. You both are still really nervous. Relax and just do what you do. To me, it doesn't seem as though she is pushing you away... she may want you to initiate conversation first, i.e chase her a little. That maybe why she didn't text you the other day, to see if YOU were into her as much as she thought.

Either way I think you are thinking way too much about this and it's making you nervous and throwing you off a bit.

Relax and go with the flow. If you feel like texting her.. do it. If she feels like texting you she will too. Remember she is just as nervous (if mot more) as you are.

Just don't start being clingy... which it doesn't seem like you are at all and give this girl a chance especially if she is the shy type. It may take a while for her to warm up to you completely.

You said it yourself, "you were worried you might be blowing the date...and thus you were not your usual self."... same could go for her. It's the third date, and now that things are picking up momentum, she may be thinking about things.

Just enjoy yourself. Relax.

Stop thinking so much dude! Wow :)

You know girls and sens that stuff. And it puts them off.

Now from what I read.. I think all your dates went really well.

Yeah she might be a bit shy.. but hey we are all different :)

Don't worrie yourself too much man just relax. And take it easy..

Try not to make this the most important thing in your life :)

Good luck

Knocks my socks off how we start assuming all kinds of stuff after a few dates. Drop the insecurity and have some fun, getting to know her.

Just because a female doesn't just gush all over you doesn't mean she is cold, distant, and not interested.

Just slow down a bit, a few dates, and you worried about why she hasn't text you is ridicules.

Keep your life balanced with other things, and people, you enjoy.

I think it's right what someone else said about perhaps she wants you to do a little more "chasing", as in waiting for you to text her or call her more instead of her initiating it so often. She may think that she's only starting to bother you if you don't do some of the initiating as well.

But honestly it sounds like she's interested in you. Just turn all of that worry and paranoia away and have fun right now.

I hope you are all right. I'm going to wait until tomorrow night to talk with her, so that I do not come across as clingy.

Max
I think your over reading it , it's still so early.

Relax and enjoy getting to know each other.

Thanks. I always get so worried right away, because I'm afraid of getting hurt. I am not a trusting guy. I read all of the things that I see here, and it scares me to death that I could be getting into that again.. you know?

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Originally Posted by High Max

Thanks. I always get so worried right away, because im afraid of getting hurt. I am not a trusting guy. I read all of the things that I see here, and it scares me to death that I could be getting into that again.. you know?

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Yep I know ;)

You give some good advise on here yourself , sometimes it's good to just step back and have a look at it from an outsiders perspective.

What would you tell someone asking the same question??

Yeah, she said that she doesn't like public displays of affection, which I was doing a bit. She went completely cold and seems turned off. I told her that she should have told me, but she said she was too shy. I then said well, I don't really think you like me anymore. So, if you still want to talk then feel free, if not, no hard feelings, I have some stuff to do. She just replied "k"

I AM SO PISSED. She was a great girl, why does this keep happening..

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Originally Posted by High Max

Yeah, she said that she doesn't like public displays of affection, which I was doing a bit. She went completely cold and seems turned off. I told her that she should have told me, but she said she was too shy. I then said well, I dont really think you like me anymore. So, if you still want to talk then feel free, if not, no hard feelings, I have some stuff to do. She just replied "k"

I AM SO PISSED. She was a great girl, why does this keep happening..

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I think maybe you are trying to push things too much and get emotionally serious too quickly. You don't have to assume that she doesn't like you anymore; it does sound like she really is shy and didn't want to say anything. That doesn't mean she doesn't like you, I imagine that's how she would have reacted to anyone.

If you like her, just be honest and tell her that you would appreciate her telling you how she feels in the future. Tell her what's on your mind.

I still think you are over analyzing a very new situation between you and her. I have to agree with aries... you definitely seem to be pushing things too hard.

Take a day or two, or whatever, and shill out and clam down. Don't force anything because you will push her away. Just go with the flow and have a good time. She knows you feeling by your actions. You know her feeling by her actions. I think maybe she was telling you the truth about not liking the PDA. Some girls especially shy ones don't like that.

Now I'm not saying holding hands or a small kiss on the lips is bad in public, but if your like making out with here in line at the movie theater, I could understand her discomfort... especially if she is the shy an timid type.

Slow down... don't think so much... just go with the flow. I think she may warm up to you more if you don't push so much.

Good Luck!

The only reason I am worried, is because everyday that whole week until our next date it was ON. She texted me during the day and night, plus we talked a few hours each night. Then after the date, she went cold on me and completely stopped, doesn't even say hi to me in the morning or at night like she used to.

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Originally Posted by High Max

The only reason I am worried, is because everyday that whole week until our next date it was ON. She texted me during the day and night, plus we talked a few hours each night. Then after the date, she went cold on me and completely stopped, doesnt even say hi to me in the morning or at night like she used to.

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Why don't YOU try doing that for her? Contacting her like she did to you? Maybe she thought she was starting to bother you by doing that so much since it seems like you weren't reciprocating. No one wants to be the needy, overly interested person, especially if the other person isn't calling or texting much back. If she was always the one to initiate talking with you, that would get tiring really quickly.

So if you're interested just be open and tell her, call her more and text her like she used to do for you. If she still seems really cold and doesn't seem like she wants to talk, then OK, let it go.

Maybe she was holding back to see if you were still interested, as she probably still is. She can't do all the chasing, you have to do your share also. If your still interested that is?

I'll try and give her a call tomorrow night and see where we stand and let you guys know. I am interested in her still, she's a nice sweet girl. It's funny guys, if you read my other posts, I'm sure you remember Tal, you'd think I would have never got over my ex with all my crazy posts.. but now I am finally beginning to heal.

You don't know how glad I am that you have decided to live your life, and just deal with it. It may be confusing sometimes, but its not all misery and pain.

Enjoy it, when you can.

Now go show that female what a great guy you are and fun to be with.

CONFIDENCE.