Dear All

I am a male, age 27 yrs, unmarried...

This is the first time I my life I am asking some help from anybody regarding my problem

I am poor, so don't tell me to go to a doctor or something, if you can advise is better.

From the last elven years or more, I am addicted to mastubation, cigarttes. Upon that, since the last three years, I drink alcohol to hell every two to three days and have out of control eating habit.

This didn't matter to me until it started affecting whatever money I have and I now cannot work properly. I now donot have interest to work, to walk as I used to, to laugh or see good english films etc I just don't give a damn for anything anymore

I recently lost around $ 650/- of my saving seeing a "quack" psychologist/hypnotist who was suppose to be good as in the local newspaper adv. SO NO DOCTOR

For my background, I am asian living as an expartriate in the middleeast. My father never spoke to me, always work work and work, my mother always used to speak harshly with me, beat me and throw me out of the house, my elder brother always used to beat me so was I teased and beaten in school by my "friends" I never till date have a fond memory of my past.

I am a loner with no friend and rough work (salesman in a tough market) I don't know whether you might be laughing reading this, but please if some out there is reading, help me with a line or two

Ok, first sorry sometimes you need professional help, Start by looking at AA, next there are real medical professionals, and depending on where you live the country may have some on sliding scales depending on your income.

Next hypnostists can work on some people, if you keep going on a regular basis to attack the symptom but it does not find and help the problem.

So you join some social groups, get involved in the church or temple of your choice, You force yourself into things to get a kick start in life.

And of course if you have money for smoking and drinking, you are not poor, you just have poor use of your money.

Cloudsky, you sound like you are in a lot of emotional pain. You sound like you are using drink, masturbation, cigarettes etc to fill the emptiness inside.. you are probably on here asking for help because these things are no longer working for you. There is hope, AA does not cost anything and if you are addicted to drinking etc, the 12 step recovery problem can really help. You are probably finding it hard to work and take interest in things because these things you are doing are making you feel bad about yourself and you are losing hope or trust in yourself because you probably don't want to be living as you are. Well, I'm guessing these things as that is what happened to me and I went to AA and it has helped me a lot with my addition to drink and other things. It has also helped me deal with emotional pain of the past and be able to work again as I feel better about myself and gradually made a friend in AA who I can talk to. Check it out, it's free.. why not? All the best.

It is too bad you live in the middle east... it is my understanding that there is not much help available for folks there.

It seems that you are lonely for deep human contact. Perhaps, you can break down the barriers from the inside, break those barriers if you can. You can't wait for someone to break those barriers from the outside and rescue you.

Best wishes, :)

Hello Cloudsky,

You say you are a salesman. Are you successful in this? Do you find that you enjoy making a win, no matter how small? If so, take pride in that.

Masturbation is not an addiction, it may be the only relief you get for a few minutes.

Cigarette smoking is a habit hard to give up.

So best... you are very young 27, you know you have a problem or two... you are reaching out for help. All positive things.

So, first things first... get some music you like and go for long walks every day.

Read positive poetry

Be silly and laugh

There are many people like you, so try to help some one else... it may help you.

Your mum and dad were brought up in a wrong way, but that does not mean you ruin your life. Start changing yourself... they may have influenced your sorrows and troubles but you are in control.

Wake up tomorrow, look in the mirror, smile and say... I'm going for a walk, I'm young, I was born for a reason, I hate to be sick with cigarette smoking, I'm going to be in control. No one is going to control me anymore.

Then... look for another job or try to move to another country.

Whatever you do... wake up every morning and smile and say "I'm in control".

Let me know how you feel tomorrow.

Signed

I understand.

Look online and buy you a few Tupac (2Pac) albums and listen to them. Promise you will feel like a new person! (27,f) and have been listening to 2Pac for all my poor restless life. Keeps my head up.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lrgarrett

Look online and buy you a few Tupac (2Pac) albums and listen to them. Promise you will feel like a new person! (27,f) and have been listening to 2Pac for all my poor restless life. Keeps my head up.

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Thanks to you all and specially to the music suggesstion, i does help .......

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC. Listen, connect, meet people. Clean yourself up and get out there, you only have one life, live it right.

When you can identify the causes of your misery, then you have to make a decision to actively change your life. No temporary solutions, no quick fixes. You have made an effort already, and that it hasn't worked, should not stop you if you are serious about changing your life permanently.

Look online and read about 'brief therapy'. It is a more modern approach to self-directed planning and stages of change. The whole of the person does not change with simple solutions, it is terribly hard work to undo, understand, re-learn, and be the catalyst for the person you want to be. I suspect you are stronger than you think you are, and you are capable, should you decide to make the commitment. I wish you well.

Cloud it sounds like to me that your are pretty depressed. The music idea is neat and so is the mirror thing. Before you can be happy you need to learn how to love yourself physically and emotionaly. I was beat by my dad and I watched him drink himself into nothing. You need to first give up the drinking an AA class would deff help you a lot. Mayeb you can find soemoen there that has been in the same position as you. Drinking is a downer it don't help you it will just make you even more depresssed. As the part of your family doing these things to you don't let that get a hold of you. That was in the past if you want all honesty your dad shouldn't even be worth your time. My dad beat me and I used to be really depressd about it and I would get made fun of at school and all this other stuff and it made me really depressed that I started running away from home smoking pot and I eventually quit school. Now that I am older I realized that what I was doing wasn't helping me it was making my situation worse. Do something that makes you better yourself. Look for a new hobbie start reading a good book maybe even read one about your situation and it might help you. Start writing down your feelings in a journal or start some art work. Just find something to keep you busy and occupied and you seriously need to quit the drinking. I hope this helps let me know if you have any updates. If you need someone to talk to we are here. Sometimes our advice is harsh but in the end it all helps.

Due to the work I am in we help people in recovery get back to work. You would be surprised the amount of meetings in every country you could think of. First I would try AA meetings there is a list on line. They will help get you to a meeting for the support you need. Good luck stay strong!