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-   -   Does He Care? (He is sending mixed signals) (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=278133)

  • Nov 7, 2008, 09:02 AM
    AmExp
    Does He Care? (He is sending mixed signals)
    I have been dating a guy for about a month now. He is older and recently separated/divorced from his wife. At first, we begin the relationship on a casual level just calling one another friends and having a good time. In the beginning, he stated he was not ready for a commitment and he enjoys being with me because I am baggage and drama free. He also claims he does not get jealous and could care less if I have sexual relations with other men. He says that I should be honest and open if the situation occurs and he would do the same with me. Side note: I am not looking for anyone else and it doesn't appear as though he is either. My point is whenever a guy calls he asks me who it was and if I had relations with that guy. Any time I tease him about seeing another guy he will bring up my ex or rattle names of guys I was with in the past ( I guess to be funny?) I didn't think he was listening that closely to their names. This is rather unusual for a guy who "doesn't care or doesn't get jealous". Then he says later "I am an adult" and that "we aren't monogamous or dating", but then he will state "we are dating" and that "he would break a guys neck who tries to have relations with me." When he talks to his friends he says that he is dating me... he has mentioned me to his PARENTS! He has admitted that he loves my company and really really likes and cares for me. I am just confused with this guy. I don't want to get my hopes up and fall for him only to be disappointed later. Why is he sending me mixed signals? What is up with this guy? I like him A LOT and he treats me like a princess. He loves to make me feel good. I just want some answers. Thanks
  • Nov 7, 2008, 09:18 AM
    Romefalls19

    Ask him where you two stand, that's the only way you will get an answer that is truthful.
  • Nov 7, 2008, 09:50 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    He is older and recently separated/divorced from his wife.
    Chances are he doesn't want to be alone, or tied down.
    Quote:

    He also claims he does not get jealous and could care less if I have sexual relations with other men.
    Which mens this is not an exclusive relationship, and could easily be friends with benefit.
    Quote:

    He says that I should be honest and open if the situation occurs and he would do the same with me
    Its only been a month, so I doubt if either of you knows each other that well as to define what your doing as anything other than casual acquaintances. Anything else is premature at this point, and more about feelings rather than fact. Much more to learn about each other. You be careful here as he may being trying to train you to be what HE wants.

    Quote:

    I don't want to get my hopes up and fall for him only to be disappointed later
    It's a real red flag that you would even consider such a thing after a month. Until those signals are a lot clearer, protect yourself as you have fun. We know how intense feelings and needs can make us blind to the reality of a situation.

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