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My boyfriend and I and I are very close and bonded. We live together and share everything just as married couples. Is there a way we can become one without a marriage? Like a dedication to one another maybe in front of close family and friends. We don't need a piece of paper to tell us that we are one.
Youth is often about rebelling, but in this instance I encourage you to step back and see what you gain by lightening up on this one thing. It's a biggie.
The reason people have been getting married for 5000 years is because it DOES mean something. No matter how you cut it, living together and all the various "stop gap" versions of commitment people come up with AREN'T as meaningful. Period.
The paper isn't "proof" of your love or commitment, it's a public/legal/ritual acknowledgment of it. The paper means more than that. It means you're ready to stand up in front of the whole universe and proclaim, "This one and no other."
As far as rituals go, this ritual is pretty significant. Truly.
No, you don't "need" it to be in love. But you do need to acknowledge that being married IS different than not.
Most important of all, when things REALLY hit the crapper in your relationship, the marriage bond is supposed to force you to selflessly stick around and work it through. Without it, anger can end it all in a single night. Yes, the same can happen to married people, it's just not supposed to... and is less likely.
We all need the security of knowing our mate is standing by us even through the screwups, nothing else affirms that idea more than a marriage.
That piece of paper gives you tax breaks, and insurance benefits, so don't knock that piece of paper.Quote:
We don't need a piece of paper to tell us that we are one.
It also grants you certain rights in case of death, or illness, under the law. Many consider that a public declaration of commitment.
But since you don't need it, you can make up any ceremony, or ritual you want.
Another simple response is, if you don't need the paper, getting it won't hurt anything at all, right? And the benefits are clear.
So, why be a rebel? Get that needless piece of paper.
Get a bond band or something for the hand.
I did that with my girlfriend at the age of 18.
It was real nice and sweet.
It just means that you guys are together and feel special about each other..
Marriage.. is a long road and sometimes a hard one.
Enjoy your time together and see what life holds
Regards
What's the difference between your ritual, and that piece of paper? Or any other ritual in the world? Why be so set against a piece of paper, that has economic advantages tied to it.Quote:
Like a dedication to one another maybe in front of close family and friends.
Just some tax, and insurance, and legal advantages, what's wrong with that?Quote:
We don't need a piece of paper to tell us that we are one.
You can get a blessing from some ministers, or a religious wedding without it being a legal one.
** this is actually fairly common among older retired people, who can not legally marry or they lose a lot of their retirement social security. So they have a pastor do a relgious wedding to be married in God's eyes.
But for a young couple, it allows you in the ER if the other is in serous condition or dying.
It allows them to sign for the other in the hospital for medical decissions. It allows you to have other rights, to be covered by the others insurance as noted
I guess I should have expanded more... we are not kids... we are in our late 40's, early
50's. I have been a single mom for 5 years. He was engaged to a lady whom he lost in 911.
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