Ask Me Help Desk - We had plans but not now

We had plans but not now

My girlfriend and I have plans once a week every week. Or, go out together you know alone time. So, my girlfriend calls me. Said her girlfriend has two tickets to concert tonight on our date night. My girlfriend is invited and she wants to go so she tells me she is going and if I'm OK with that. I'm like hey we have plans why not tell your friend to find someone else. So my girlfriend says, hey I see you all the time and I don't see my girlfriend often why are you making a big deal. I will make it up to you tomorrow.
I feel upset she just made other plans at the last minute. Her and I talked last night about what we are going to do today. Maybe I'm making a big deal of it... so she goes with her friend and she makes it up tomorrow. No big deal right? How would you of handled it? Do you think she is making the wrong choices or just go with the flow?

That does happen from time to time and if she does not see her friend often then what's the big deal? You can change your date night on th odd occasion. I think you are being unreasonable. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was a band you really wanted to see with a mate you did not see all that often, I bet you would do the same (and don't try and tell me you wouldn't) Remember relationships are all about compromise!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ 'H'

That does happen from time to time and if she does not see her friend often then whats the big deal? You can change your date night on th odd occasion. I think you are being unreasonable. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was a band you really wanted to see with a mate you did not see all that often, I bet you would do the same (and don't try and tell me you wouldn't) Remember relationships are all about compromise!

Exactly! I was thinking the same thing and wanted to know what other people would say. It's no big deal. She has not spent time with her friend lately and I'm sure the make up date will be good. I got lots of other stuff to do anyway.

I agree with DJ H, but from your previous posts I haven't taken a liking to your girlfriend for how you portray her to be!
She is immature, insensitive and selfish and manipulative!

How long have u 2 been together?

You're doing fine, just make sure that when she does make up for it, it's to your satisfaction. Don't take 'seconds'.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

If she made it up to you then it's really not a big deal. What would you have done in a similar situation ; you know, one of your buddies has tickets for the "big game" and wants you to go with him, only it's on the night that you normally spend with your girlfriend? You'd set aside another night for her, right? Now, if she isn't willing to set aside another night for you, then you may have something to be concerned about. However, you might give her the benefit of the doubt the first time. If it happens again, however, then you have a problem that needs to be addressed.

With your history I'd take the peace and quiet and be happy!

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Originally Posted by blueiman

exactly! i was thinking the same thing and wanted to know what other people would say. it's no big deal. she has not spent time with her friend lately and i'm sure the make up date will be good. i got lots of other stuff to do anyway.

So this is a problem why?

To set aside one day a week for someone is asking a lot if your not allowing for things that can crop up at the last minute. But if it happens four or five times in a row... :O

Hi, blue,
Are you using "compromise" in your relationship? Doing what others want to do that will make them happy, when maybe you don't want to do that in the first place?
Life is "give and take". One who "takes" more than they "give" will have problems.
This is no big deal. I really don't understand why you are "balking" at her going out with her girlfriend. If you don't give her some "space", this relationship will be over. I do wish you the best, and good luck.

Today is my turn to do something with my girlfriend. I have been invited to a work related softball game. And I'm considering going. I'm kind of curious how my girlfriend will take it. Any suggestions?

Just tell her about it and say you really like to go (not like it happens often) and it would be a ood way to bond with your work colleagues - and then follow up with - you don't mind do you? We can reschedule to... then pick a day!. if she has a go at you then she really does have double standards!

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Originally Posted by DJ 'H'

just tell her about it and say you really like to go (not like it happens often) and it would be a ood way to bond with your work colleagues - and then follow up with - you don't mind do you? We can reschedule to... then pick a day! ... if she has a go at you then she really does have double standards!

Really I'm not that interested in the game but I'm thinking hey how about if I test her... so, basically I'm testing her because that would be the reason I would cancel just to see if she would get upset. Yes... no..

Well no - if you want to go then go, tell her you will reschedule and enjoy yourself. If this is just a game and putting her to the test then grow up! This is real life!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ 'H'

well no - if you want to go then go, tell her you will reschedule and enjoy yourself. If this is just a game and putting her to the test then grow up! This is real life!!

I think I'm grown up. Just wanted to see what other people would do. I agree if a test not a good idea. Thanks for the reality check...

If this how you play most things with her, then its no wonder she is the way she is with you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueiman

really i'm not that interested in the game but i'm thinking hey how about if i test her... so, basically i'm testing her because that would be the reason i would cancel just to see if she would get upset. yes... no... ?

If testing one is not a habit and it's the first time you're thinking of doing it and never done it before..
I would say GO FOR IT..
Test her, she deserves to be tested, with an attitude like hers.

The ball game was rained out so did not go. Saw my girlfriend and we had a nice evening.