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Can someone help... My fiancée has hinted that he wants me to be more vocal in bed. I am assuming this as talking dirty to him and I am totally up for that.
We both are very conservative in public, but I am not sure exactly what I should be saying in the bedroom. I do not want to spoil the moment by offending him by saying too much.
How much would be enough?
It depends on your fiance; but my experience is that men won't find anything too much, however since this is new, I would start slow and introduce new concepts and words over time and you will be able to savor each new thing in each love making session.
One dirty idea or word can lead to some passionate love making for weeks or months until you tire of it somewhat, then you add something new to spice things up again.
Everything doesn't have to come at once (pun intended). You will know when he gets extra excited about some word or idea you've stumbled on, it may be enough to sustain your sessions for a while, or it may burst the dam and both of you go off like sailors.
Just have fun with it, you will be surprised how much more intimate your relationship is when you share some dirty talk or ideas, and there are plenty of those for now and in the future depending on your imagination.
The key thing is to agree with yourself and each other, if something that is said catches you off guard; there will be no judgement of each other, no phrases like "I can't believe you said that". Be understanding and realize that you are both searching for erotic triggers to enhance your sexual experience together.
I was around 22 when a girl first talked dirty to me in bed, her phrase: F... K MY C... T had me exploding right then and there, I've never tired of that phrase to this day; the right dirty talk can go a long way... ;)
Good luck and have fun!!
You are consertative in public. Yet your BF wants you to talk dirty to him. Sorry, I would suggest that you only use language that you are comfortable with. If it bothers you that much to ask a bunch of strangers, then don't do it. Tell him how uncomfortable you are and drop it. Now there is no reason you cannot talk to him and offer suggestion as to what feels good, how you want it, that sort of thing. But being pushed to do something that is not in your nature, that is not right.
First don't assume, ask, talk about it, that may be what she is talking about, talking about what you like, how you like it, what feels good or better.
Don't assume ask
Its different for every person... the best answer is talk about it and find out exactly what they mean and how much they mean... Too much can be worse than not at all.
How about talking about it with him?
I've always been of the opinion that if you can't talk about ANYTHING with your partner... well, you're with the wrong partner.
Occasionally talking in bed does not mean you have to talk like a truck driver. That probably wouldn't be sexy anyway.
My guess is that your boyfriend just wants you to be more sexually communicative in bed. Look at the opposite option. Having a silent bedroom all of the time could be a little boring.
Why not just take a little word or phrase and whisper it one time in his ear when he's not expecting it? You don't have to yell it or come up with a large monologue for crying out loud. Keep it simple and you won't have anything to worry about. I'm sure he will appreciate the effort. Then if you feel like that wasn't so bad, you can say more. Be honest with whatever you choose to say.
It doesn't sound to me like he's forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. It sounds to me like he stepped out on a limb to say that he wants a little extra playfulness. My worry would be that if you were to criticize him on that, he might feel deeply embarrassed. Then he might not feel comfortable of ever telling you other bedroom ideas in the future. I don't know what he's really like, but it's something to consider.
One more idea. You said that your fiancée hinted at wanting you to be more vocal in bed, and you assumed that meant talking dirty. While a little dirty talk might very well fit the bill, he might have been referencing something a little different. He might mean that he wants you to tell him that you like what he's doing, or that you want something faster, slower, harder, softer... that's not dirty, and it's actually a good way to get in better sync with each other. Tell him you really, really like what he's doing when you really do. I can promise you that the payback in your long term pleasure will be significant.
Some women scream with pleasure during sex. Some are totally silent. If the only thing that's stopping you from being more vocal in the bedroom is that your public persona is conservative, well... you're in the privacy of your bedroom. I'm sure some soft moaning would be greatly appreciated. And when you climax, saying his name, a gasp and/or slightly louder moaning could do a whole lot to satisfy the challenge. The words might not roll off your tongue the first time, but you will probably see just how little extra effort can heighten the experience a lot. Why not start slow and work your way up with time? All of these things are simply other forms of communication within a healthy relationship.
You know, you reminded me of something. When I was a social worker, a fellow employee took me out to lunch at a drive in restaurant in my district and talked me to orgasm right there in his car! Wowee. He was an *expert* at "talking dirty".
I think going the other way... female to male... would require less skill. :D Keep it simple and all about his genitals would be a good start.
I want to thank everyone for their suggestions. I talked to him last night and he tried to shrug it off. But I was determined to find out and the alcohol helped me along. Anyway, we had an awesome night and he got his wish! Thanks again.
Thank you for letting us know how things went; we don't always get feedback as to whether we were helpful or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by have2know
I love a happy ending! :D
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