Hi, my name is Lacey and I am new to this site. I have a 3 year old daughter that I absolutely adore. But at times I really want to cry. My daughter is very hard to handle sometimes. When it comes to disipline, I am at my whits end. I have tried time-outs, going to the corner, a smack on the hand. You name it, and I have tried it. Even taking away her toys does not bother her. I actually told her one time, Mommy is going to throw away that toy if you do that again, and she threw her toy again like I told her not to. So I picked up her toy, she took it from me, and threw it away her self. I was in total shock that she threw it away her self. WHY?? Would she do this? I am really desperate for help. Nothing has worked, and I really get tired of fighting a battle, that seems I am never going to win. Any ideas ill take them. Thank you, Lacey

You just have to be really repetative and FOLLOW THROUGH with your threats. If your child won't stay in time out keep putting them back until they get the picture. She is will still 'test' you. But she will be better behaved when she knows the result of bad behavior will not change. Just keep at it, you won't be able to 'fix' bad behavior in a day. Sometimes with strong-willed kids it takes weeks of 'time-outs' for them to get the picture. Good luck!

My son has a few bad behavioral issues. Time-outs, spankings, corner time outs, none of it works. But, if I get down on his level, and literally take him away from the situation, finding something different for him to occupy his mind with, he will stop.
Also, remember she is only 3, therefore they say 1 min per year of age for timeouts, or removing a toy, or whatever from your child. Each minute seems like 20-30 minutes to them.
As spyderglass said, follow through. This is the most important thing to remember when reprimanding a child. If you fail to follow through then the child will see it as a game. "Mommy won't really do that, so I can go ahead and throw this toy."
Good luck.

This is just a phase. She will get easier. She threw away the toy to show you she did not care if you did it. I think she is handful now, but hopefully you will come to admire her when she's older.

When she's doing something you don't like, offer her an alternative. Distract her with something fun, rather than confronting her and trying to dominate her.

If she's really bad (breaks things or refuses to go to bed), you'll need to discipline her, but if so, everything should be a red light or a green light. No yellow lights. What I mean by this is be very clear with her about what is a yes and what is a no. Don't ever say maybe, and don't say yes or no and then change your mind. If you avoid "yellow lights" things will get better.

Meanwhile, you sound overwhelmed. See if you can take some time off. Can your husband watch her one weekend morning, so you get a break and can recover your equanimity? Taking care of kids this age can be hard!

You probably know by now what her "currency" is. The things she likes best, whether it be a treat from the store, going to the park, a new toy, Chucky Cheese... etc. Make up a big board that you put on the wall. Then have stars, stickers, magnets, good girl cut outs, or whatever you come up with. Try and make them big and special looking, and you can call them her big girl rewards, or something like that.

Tell her every time she behaves and does what she's asked, she gets a 'star' on her board. When she gets to say, 10 or 20 'stars' she will receive her currency. But every time she misbehaves, she will have a 'star' taken away, and she will have to work to get it back in order to get or do something she likes. If you take a 'star' away, let her know why you are taking it, and vice versa with giving it. It worth a try anyway, right? :)

I have a similar gal at home. She is bright and speaks like she is an adult... problem is her granny talks to her like she is one and hence she kindo of expects similar treatment. When I point at the wall, she cries and runs to granny. I guess damaged is done when one grandparents spoils her like this.

I will make her granny take out the cane and give her a good one on her bum and she gets no attention for the next few minutes. All by herself facing the wall. The first strike got her picking up her own toys and finishing up her entire meal by herself.

Make her earn her things back. When she misbahaves, take them away and put them where she cannot get to them (to prevent smart aleck respsonses from her lol, sorry that made me giggle)

Then make it clear that if she wants her toy back, she MUST show better behavior. And once she does, she can have it back.

Then it will happen again (trust me it will :) ) and then do it all over again.

I wouldn't suggest throwing them away. She has already shown that she is not old enough to understand the reprocussions. She feels at this time, that yeah, we can throw it away, but it will be back again tomorrow. Or it not, antoher toy will be there tomorrow.

Toddlers live in the here and now, and aren't ready to understand long term punishment or goals.

Also use positive reinforcement. Get a jar and a bag of marbles, if she shows good behavior, like sharing, or not throwing a fit at a time where a fit would normally occur, put a marble in the jar. Whne she has collected 10, 20, or 30, depending on which she would understand best, then she can have a treat.

Take her to a child psychologist, my 3 year old daughter is the same way and I took her to a psychologist they did't give her any medication but they gave me the tools to cope with the situation. Don't get me wrong she still get on my nerve but I can handel it now. I know it super hard but taker her to the psychologist it will help you nad her... Good luck...