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-   -   I suspect my boyfriend has cheated (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=277508)

  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:09 PM
    kellicruz1978
    I suspect my boyfriend has cheated
    A couple of months ago something very strange happened with me and my boyfriend. We had been going about our day, normally, etc and were supposed to meet some friends of ours at 6:30. I arrive on time and get a phone call from him, he says he is running late and will be there in about 20 minutes. I didn't think anything of it. That night, he was VERY affectionate towards me, kissed me, etc, which HE NEVER DOES. So I was a little on guard.
    We got home and he tells me that he ran into one of his ex's. I say where-he says "KMART". He never goes to Kmart and had no reason to be at Kmart that afternoon. Long story short I kept pressing him and he got agitated and would not tell me where he saw this chick at. Eventually I got it out of him that he had gone to her house.
    This was like a slap in the face, because he lied about where he saw her and became extremely angry with me for questioning him. Because I had no concrete proof that anything happened (he says they just talked), I chose to stay with him and act like nothing happened.
    But it's always on my mind.
    In August he started talking to another girl, that he SWEARS is just a friend. But if she was just a friend, why is he calling her 4 times a day and why did he text her 280 times in August?
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:13 PM
    aaj2008

    Maybe you are a little controlling and he doesn't want to tell you he had friends that are female because you freak out on him. If you can't trust him then do him a favor and leave.. You have to trust to have a relationship. If you can't trust one another just leave...
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:16 PM
    ZoeMarie

    My husband has friends that are girls. He doesn't call them 4 times a day or text them 280 times in one month. Something's up. Go with your gut.

    Even if something isn't going on, the fact that you don't trust him will ruin the relationship, but in my opinion, something is going on.

    Ask if the three of you can hang out and see what he says.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:19 PM
    aaj2008

    I'm sorry but I have had a girlfriend for over two years and I still have friends who are female that I talk to on several occasions because we are really good friends and talk to one another about our relationships and such as friends... if you can't trust your partner then move on...
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:22 PM
    kellicruz1978

    I think I obviously have trust issues, yes. But I do not think I am controlling. Something I didn't mention about the August thing, they really haven't talked much since then, and I suspect it's because she now has a boyfriend. He told me a couple of weeks ago that she has a boyfriend, and made fun of him, calling him a retard and said that he couldn't believe she was with this dude.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:38 PM
    SimpleguyJoe

    Sounds like jealousy... Go with your gut. See what happens just stay alert for signs and if things don't work out then there are more men in the sea.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 03:50 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kellicruz1978 View Post
    why is he calling her 4 times a day and why did he text her 280 times in August?

    This doesn't sound normal to me... hhhmmm :rolleyes:
  • Nov 6, 2008, 12:54 PM
    DonaldM_23

    Just remember he doesn't have you attach to a chain and ball... Your happiness counts, if you feel that he is cheating. You know what to do.
  • Nov 6, 2008, 01:30 PM
    talaniman
    Either he is cheating, and your gut is right, or he isn't, and your mind is playing tricks on you.

    You may even have issues that are fed by his behavior.

    Talaniman rule # 17- Get all the facts, before you make a decision. Until you do, don't assume.

    Don't drive yourself crazy, life will do that for you.
  • Nov 6, 2008, 01:34 PM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ZoeMarie View Post
    even if something isn't going on, the fact that you don't trust him will ruin the relationship, .........................................
    ask if the three of you can hang out and see what he says.

    That's a good place to start!

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