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-   -   What is going on? How can I put it straight? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=277414)

  • Nov 5, 2008, 10:21 AM
    citylad112
    What is going on? How can I put it straight?
    Hey guys hers the story!

    Me and my girlfreind have been together for about 14 and a half months and up till now have never rowed or fell out, however now over the passed few weeks she has been a tad off with me.
    She is struggling with studies at the moment and an ill grandparent, and I seem to be getting it in the kneck!
    At first I didn't mind and I just tried to understnand the fact that she was going through a hard time and stood by her,trying to keep her calm and relaxed, until we rowed big time the other day over a really stupid matter. After some ignorance from her we eventually spoke things threw and sorted stuff out!
    All very good and sattisfying having had light chat the passed few days and me staying generally low and I've been pleased with it, until I stopped getting texts threw the yesterday and fed a story about ohh my phnes broking, won't let me text etc etc. I believed it and still do, however phne was fixed last nyt and I started getting text and this mrning too the texts kept coming in until she was away to college again and then I didn't get a text all day again. So I phned her after she finished avn sent her a couple texts through the day and got no reply. Same storie my phnes really broken nw I don't no what to do it won't let me do anything bla bla bla and a really blunt tone beiong spoke!
    And after plans off meeting tonight she's baby sitting for a friend and has a lot of wrk to do tonight but I can go see her for a little while.

    What should I make of this? What should I do? I do not won't a break up or a break in realationship as I am worried I loose her completely. I feel I need to speak but I amnt sure what I should say!
  • Nov 5, 2008, 10:53 AM
    TrueFaith

    Dude relax
    Man

    You get upset because she don't text you for the day?
    She might seem off with you because you keep pounding her for your needs.

    She is under a lot of stress. Yeah you should not be the punching bag.
    But if it is annoying you that much You give her some space, for a few days.

    Just do your own thing. Don't worrie abot her text ( its not the reason why you get up in the morning is it?)

    And just give her some space
  • Nov 5, 2008, 11:16 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    She is struggling with studies at the moment and an ill grandparent
    Your taking things far to personally and selfishly given you know she has a lot of things on her plate.

    For gosh sake, relax and back off, or she will get tired of you being a selfish, needy person.

    Find something else to do besides waiting for a text from her, for gosh sakes.

    Your smothering her, and that's annoying.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 11:42 AM
    Romefalls19

    Get your own life and stop trying to attach yourself to hers. If you surround yourself with nothing but her you will come off as needy, if you haven't already. You need to take a step back, her not texting your 24/7 is not the end of the world.


    I wonder what little ones would do without these cell phones and messengers, like calling a HOUSE phone and then hearing "so and so isn't home" and that's it. You have to wait and hope that who ever picked up relayed the message, and if it was a brother or sister, it's highly unlikely it will be returned.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 04:19 PM
    citylad112
    Cheers guys, I no ing about a text isn't nothing big. Its just the lack of communication that gets to me and being hit with the hard end of the stik when I give her a wee ring!
    With regards to her issues any ideas how I may address them? She says and ned never has been one for talking about her issues and chooses to lok them up in side and then just explode, and yes at me!
    You guys reckon this is pull threw able?
    Feel a bit lk a asking this on a forum but uno this cuts deep!
  • Nov 5, 2008, 06:50 PM
    Romefalls19

    Welcome to the club about their spouse holding in their emotions until they explode. The best advice, let them go cool off and not hound them to talk them out when they are angry, it only creates more problems. Let them calm down and think things out, it shows maturity on your part for giving that space that they need.

    Don't feel like that asking for help on the forum, there are thousands of responses on here and we are all here to help sort of situations the best we can because we have all been through it one way or another.
  • Nov 6, 2008, 07:23 AM
    talaniman

    Recognize that people are who they are, and we can always come up with ways to make our loved one better.

    At some point you have to decide if their behavior is a deal breaker, or not, and if not, try to understand it, and deal with it.

    Thats the key, how you deal with the things about your partner, that ain't so good to you.

    Fellas, we can't fix our women in a day! It takes decades of hard work, patients, and understanding, with a double dose of sharing, and caring.

    After all we guys have our irritating and downright dumb ways, too.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 03:45 PM
    citylad112

    After all that guys,suspecting something wasn't quite wrt and then just digging and hopeing for the best, after a very long night of wrking together and sleeping in each others company the following morning brought nothing but unhapiness! Having been giving the hard shoulder all nyt made for an awkward mrning and eventually a broken girlfreind admitting her pressures were to hard to cope with not knowing what to do and asking for a break! Me being me accepted her wishes tried once more to comfrt her but no nothing wrked!
    So here we are back to the drawing board and trying to work out a method of getting her back and not loosen her!
    Feeling rather toyed with now after constant soppy text message from her and an email making out for a very confused girl I just do not no what to do! She says she doesn't want to loose me but I just reali don't no what to make of it?
    Would ignoreing her texts and just leaaving her alone for a few days make any differnce or should I keep jumping to her tune and getting messed with?
  • Nov 10, 2008, 03:58 PM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by citylad112 View Post
    would ignoreing her texts and just leaaving her alone 4 a few days make any differnce or should i keep jumping to her tune and getting messed with?

    Are you a dog? No, you are a man, now grow the balls and act like it. I know you are hurt, but dude just leave her alone. Give her space to work on herself, and you need to start working on yourself as well. I know it hurts, but it is life. Leave her be, and if she really wants to come back to you, then that is on her, and not YOU. Do not jump through hoops for her, that is not fair to you.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 04:10 PM
    citylad112

    Cheers mate! I just need to know that ignoreing and nt asking hw high when she says jump is the wrt thing! I can cope with the fact that I gtta go and do my own thing! I am planning on I just want to no that it's the wrt thing to do and it won't push the bought to far out!
  • Nov 10, 2008, 04:13 PM
    kctiger

    Do not give her the time of day. I am being totally serious about that too... right now you have to start thinking about yourself.
  • Nov 10, 2008, 04:23 PM
    citylad112

    Cheers mate! Kind of reasuring, I just need to get that thre my soppy fukd up head!

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