I feel so alone, in giving my daughter up for adoption
I need some advice, I am currently 5 months pregnant and it was completely unplanned. I had no support from my family and the father whom I was previsouly in a 5 year relationship with wanted me to get rid of it. I am very set in the way of I will not get an abortion and I stuck with that. My first instinct was to keep the child but when talking to people I didn't want to be a single mother who can barely support herself, living on welfare trying to get by and have a good life for my daughter.
I told a friend of the family that I was pregnant and it turns out her daughter can not have kids and wants one and they were thinking of putting themselves on an adoption list. When I thought about adoption I definitely wanted to be in an open adoption but was very scared of who the parents would be. When I found out my friend wanted a kid a decided that in the best interest in my baby would be to give her to my friend because I knew they would be able to give her what she deserves.
I have since told them that I would love for them to be my daughters parents and was very happy. Recently however I have been feeling really really bad, Im starting to bond with her and can feel her moving and am terrified to give her up but know that it is in her best interest I just can't shake this motherly insticnt and yes it probably happens but none of my friends understand and Im losing friends over this, and just feel so weak and depressed over it, everyone just tells me its hormones but its my baby I just feel so alone and don't know what to do anymore, but at the same time I do know what to do!
Anyway I just needed to get this off my chest, maybe someone else out there has gone through this. I don't know. All I do know is its tearing me up inside and I don't know how to deal with it.