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-   -   Long distance relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=277063)

  • Nov 4, 2008, 12:09 PM
    Chameleon24
    Long distance relationships
    Ok, I'd like some advice from people who are in a long distance relationship or have been in one before. Some backstory: I just moved away for school, it's about two hours away from where I used to live. About a month before the move I met this guy and we started hanging out a lot. About a week before the move we both sort of confessed to each other that we liked each other. I've been here for about two weeks now. We talk everyday and on the weekends I went back to see him.
    So I really like this guy a lot. I like spending time with him and he makes me feel happy. So I guess I just wondered about some pros and cons of long distance dating. What are some things I should watch out for? I know I can't be going back every weekend. I'd like to keep what we have going now though.
  • Nov 4, 2008, 12:30 PM
    TrueFaith

    Hello there

    Well first of all. I'm in a long distance relationship as well
    My girl is over 2000 miles away.

    Yeah that's long.
    But we were boyfriend and girlfriend for a year before the move. So we had something to base it on.

    You guys seemed to just say I like you then you moved.


    The most important think here is to talk to your partner make sure you are both on the same page.
    You have to both come together on this.

    And what way are your lives going? Will you ever get back together? Or will he always be a long distant away?
    Another issue you have to work out.

    The pros to a long distant relationship
    Well I personaly don't think there is. As you lose a lot. Your not there with the other person. And you are kind of just like buddie pen pals.

    The cons.. well there are many
    Lose of interest.

    But there are pros on cons to everything
    Anyway like I said

    Make sure you both make a plan as to what your futuer is together

    Other wize it is just unfair on you both
  • Nov 4, 2008, 01:33 PM
    talaniman

    What problems have you already run into???

    Any problems in a relationship can be dealt with. It depends on the level of commitment, and the willingness of the partners.

    Your relationship is so new, and young your basically strangers getting to know each other, and at this early stage just talking, and keeping in touch, may be enough for now.

    As things progress though, any insecurities, and fears, or frustrations, you(him) have, will be magnified, and any personal problems will be a lot bigger as you cannot do what partners have to, reasure, and learn without the verbal communications.

    LDR's are hard to maintain, but can be managed through communications, trust, and faith, but I don't recommend them.
  • Nov 4, 2008, 03:06 PM
    ylaira
    Two of my relationships were long distance. So here are my thoughts...


    PROS

    Liberty. You are yourself. No need to ask permission when you want to go somewhere.
    Space. If you are fighting, you can have the space you want to put yourself back again before saying another word. You can just hung up the phone instead of slapping the other.
    Saving. If you two are both like roaming around a loooot, you can save a lot of money from going out.

    CONS

    Realizin that "I can live w/o the other."
    Big risk of losing interest.
    Having less time to spend together.
    Lesser opportunity to really know your partner.

    It's still best to be together most of the time but there must be space. When space is abundant, it tests two people's ability to hold on faith. Not all people are suited for LDR. It takes confidence, patience, a lot of faith and excellent communication skills.....on both sides.
  • Nov 4, 2008, 10:43 PM
    lmnotok

    I personally don't like LDR because I was in it for 3 years and, honestly it was more like illusion, not real at all, you have to make effort to imagine and live like that person is right beside you, and that sux!

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