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-   -   Could I have to leave my kids in her hands? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=276898)

  • Nov 3, 2008, 09:48 PM
    georgiagirl35
    Could I have to leave my kids in her hands?
    My ex's mother is trying to get visitation rights to my children after failng a full-custody suit from a year and a half ago. She does not have a good track record with my kids safety, let alone rearing her own kids. She tried accuse me of anything she coud to take my kids. None of her false allegations were proven true. The kids have been with me for 3years since I left him, and he spent a year in jail and is now off probation. Does she stand a chance for winning visitation?
  • Nov 5, 2008, 01:30 PM
    stevetcg

    I'm not an expert, but I read a lot. It depends on the state. Some states have provisions for grandparent visitation, some do not.

    Do you allow her to visit in your home? That might go a long way in stemming her desire to have take-away visits.

    The other thing to consider is even if she doesn't have a case, her son (father of the children) does, which she will very likely use to her advantage.

    IMO, if she is doing this out of spite for you then fight her. If she is doing it because she loves your kids... kids cannot have enough people love them.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 01:43 PM
    asking

    I would not recommend visits in your home, as she may collect "evidence" of problems at your house. She could allege that you are a poor housekeeper or that your home is unsafe, etc. Given your history with her, I would avoid that.

    But I agree with Stevetcg about visits. I think regular visits would take the teeth out of any claim that she is not allowed to see her grandkids.

    What about meeting her with the kids in a neutral place like a park or bakery so she can visit with her grandkids? You can hang back for an hour or so--maybe read a magazine or pay bills nearby-- so she has time with them.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 01:44 PM
    ScottGem
    Given the court record, you may be able to forestall visitation or, at the least, require supervised visitation.
  • Nov 5, 2008, 01:59 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    First it depends on the state, many states in the US does not allow for grandparents right

    In those that do, you can request for supervised or limited. I would not as mentioned allow it in your home,
  • Nov 6, 2008, 08:06 PM
    georgiagirl35

    I live in Georgia, and she has not even seen the cildren in over a year and a half.
  • Nov 6, 2008, 08:16 PM
    georgiagirl35
    Also, I wish she was a loving stable grandmother that was good to my children, I wish she wasn't so depressed and mentally ill. Her mother just died too. Her therapist advised her to stay out of our lives years ago, and she didn't listen obviously. She is fighting me tooth and nail. She is solely doing this to spite me. Every time I turn around, she has me in court. Its almost like she's trying to prove to me that she is their mother and has more power over my children than me. She is really mentally sick. My children don't have a good-loving, and caring, patient grandma to give them hot chocolate and read books and stuff. I wish they did. My heart goes out to my children because they will never experience this with their natural grandparents. The children's paternal grandfather, her ex husband has been in prison for over thirty years, and still is. It is very sad. I wish she didn't have an obsession over my children and wanting them to be hers. She is in mid to post-menopause, and wants children and can't have any of her own. I wish she would just adopt, but then I would feel sorry for that child.
  • Nov 6, 2008, 09:32 PM
    asking

    I realize we did not answer your question. It sounds like a really bad situation, now that you tell us more. Have you talked to a lawyer? That's what I would recommend. Good legal advice can save you a lot of money and heartache.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this.
  • Nov 7, 2008, 12:04 PM
    georgiagirl35

    Yes, I have had the same lawyer for five years now, he is a municipal court judge still and was a superior court judge in Atanta years ago, and now has his own practice in Woodbine. He has represented me maybe six times or more already in court battles over her wanting my children. It is never ending. I know the judge is tired of it all. We had four hours of court today, I just got out. The judge still hasn't made his decision. It won't be today, it could be weeks or months before I know his ruling. Things are looking good for me though. I took the stand twice today, for a good amount of time, I got to speak in mine and my children's defense. Any time the grandparents take the stand and open their mouths, they pretty much put their foot in them. They are angry and sad and in general very unstabe people. They failed to satisfy the court that it harmed my children for them not to see the kids.
  • Nov 7, 2008, 12:06 PM
    georgiagirl35
    In your opinion, what do you think the judge will rule?
  • Nov 7, 2008, 01:59 PM
    asking

    Based on what you've said, I agree with you. The biological grandfather and son (your ex) both being in jail, by itself, makes granny unappealing by association. To be blunt, the judge is no going to want to give her the chance to produce a criminal grandchild. And if she appears unstable and angry in court, that's not going to help her case either. It sounds good.

    I don't know the laws in Georgia, but usually grandparents don't have the kinds of rights that parents do, especially when there is a fully functional mother, which it sounds like you are.

    I hope the judge doesn't make you wait weeks or months. What kinds of questions were you asked?

    I know this is so hard on you and your kids. You sound very strong.
  • Nov 8, 2008, 02:32 PM
    liz28

    In Georgia the grandparent(s) does have visitations rights and can use these rights by going to court and a judge can grant these rights only if it is in the best interest for the child.

    From the history of this grandmother she might not be granted visitation but that is only for a judge to decide. In court the side will hear from both sides before ruling and since she make-up things in court to try to get custody it might can be use against her. Again, it will only be granted if it is for the best interest of the child and in this case it seems like she done more harm then good.
  • Nov 29, 2008, 07:19 PM
    georgiagirl35

    Doesn't matter now for two more years - I won
  • Nov 29, 2008, 07:50 PM
    ScottGem

    Glad to hear it.
  • Nov 29, 2008, 08:57 PM
    cadillac59
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by georgiagirl35 View Post
    In your opinion, what do you think the judge will rule?

    You say your ex's mother is seeking "visitation" with the kids? Well how much time does she want? A weekend a month, every weekend, alternate weekends, a week-on with her and a week-on with you? Is it really visitation or is it some kind of guardianship-like proceeding in which she wishes to step into your shoes as a parent?
  • Nov 30, 2008, 10:09 AM
    liz28
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by georgiagirl35 View Post
    Doesn't matter now for two more years - I won

    It's good that you won.
  • Jan 9, 2009, 09:02 AM
    fuentes77
    I was just wandering how everything is turning out for you. It may be hard to believe but your situation is not far off from mine. If you are still around I'd like to share with you, I think support from others going through the same thing helps. I get so conflicted on what to do to sometimes. Let me know. Thanks

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