My stepson has becoming increasingly resentful of me over the past year. He is my husband's only surviving son of his first marriage long ago and is 40+ years old. He drinks more than he should and has not been able to find a job in nearly 5 years. I've helped him move from an apartment, search for a house, move into the house (that his father bought for him) and even drafted a resume to help him find work. We joke around quite frequently but without warning he will lash out at me and catch me off guard. I have never been hateful to him and don't know where this is coming from. His father is older than me (I am only 5 years older than my stepson) and the son has made it clear that if anything happens to his father, the house we live in is his so I can forget about it being mine. I've tried to talk to him and have made an effort never to come between them but it's not getting any better.

What has your husband done in this matter? Although I applaud you for not wanting to get in the middle, does his father know that he has made these threats to you regarding the house?

It sounds like this 40 yr old child has a lot of growing up to do. He is leaching off you and his Dad, and taking full advantage of it. He sounds like he feels entitled.

At this point, I would involve his father, and tell him to have a serious talk with his son. It is probable that your husband will leave this earth before you, and you will be stuck with a lot of misery and a big problem on your hands with his son. It should be taken care of now! Daddy should not baby his little big boy any longer. Dad sure isn't doing him any favours.

The boy is a "man" , or at least he should be, but he's not acting like one. He needs to be told to get a job, or get out of the house that was given. Otherwise, he will continue doing what works for him. He's got no incentive! Well, talk to his Dad, and make the place he lives be his incentive. It's time you got in the middle, as a mediator, and talk to YOUR husband!

Good luck!