Originally Posted by
Alder
Hi, Kat. So sorry to hear about your mom. To answer the question based on my experience, it takes a while for a soul to move beyond this life completely. In some cultures, it is assumed to take a year, or a year and a day. But that's just a rule of thumb. Like anything else, people progress at their own pace. So it is normal for your mom to stay close to you, and to places you know, for a while.
It is also normal for you to stay close to her. As a probate lawyer, I can tell you that grief could be described as a form of insanity. Meaning, when people are grieving, they are not their usual selves. They are not operating on the plane of reality, the state of consciousness, that is considered the "normal" waking state of consciousness in this culture of mainstream Western Civilization (many other cultures around the world are much better at recognizing other states of consciousness, such as trance and dream states, as valid and normal, too). When you are in the grieving state, things can happen to you that would "normally" not happen. In particular, in the grief state you are more "sensitive" (in the psychic sense of the word) than normal. You are better able to listen to that little inner voice of intuition than when you are caught up in normal day to day life.
It sounds like you have been doing a very good job so far of listening to that inner voice that guides you. Keep it up! Stay willing to be open to your mother's presence, so she can show up or send you messages in whatever way is meaningful to you and to her. It's ok if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. Stay open to her presence, without trying to hold her back. That can be the hard part. Let her go, trusting her to find a good place for herself, and trusting that on some level she can always be there for you, a presence of strength and love, whenever you need her. Your trust is like a row of little luminaries guiding her path. Your trust in her helps her, too.
Trust yourself, too. Trust your inner voice to guide you how and when to grieve and what to do to honor your mother and honor your grieving. Don't let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn't do. It's up to you, and there is no hurry. Take it in its own good time, how ever long it takes.
Those are the best things you can do for both your mom and yourself. And don't be afraid. There is nothing to be frightened of. Well, usually. Sometimes people who die do get a little stuck, a little confused. When the death is sudden, that can happen. Don't stress out about that, though. It's very rare that it becomes a big problem. Trust and patience and love from someone like you is usually all that's needed. If you start to get signals that she needs more help than that, post a question here and we'll see what more needs to be done. But like I said, that probably won't happen, so don't worry about it. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.
For now, just continue to listen to your heart. What it tells you is real, and the "paranormal" experiences you have during this time are real. They aren't normal experiences by our society's standards, but that's our society's problem. Many other cultures have much better rituals for honoring our ancestors who have passed on, for their well-being and our own. You might want to research some of those, and see if you find anything you like.
Blessings to you and your family,
Alder
