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-   -   My 7 year old son "Hates himself!" (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=276294)

  • Nov 2, 2008, 11:47 AM
    lindsayterrell
    My 7 year old son "Hates himself!"
    I am going through a divorce. I have 2 boys (7 and 2), they have different dads. My first husband (my 7 year olds father) is in prison. His step-father threated him horribly! How can I help my 7 year old from not feeling like there is something wrong with him?
  • Nov 2, 2008, 04:40 PM
    liz28

    Let him see a counselor and you have to work with any day and even show extra love to help him see that things that have happen to in the past wasn't his fault. They even have some books that can help you help him but counseling is a good way to go.

    It seems that he had it rough with his dad in prison and being treated bad by your ex, his emotions are all over the place. It sad for a child to blame themselve but I hope it get better for him.
  • Nov 2, 2008, 04:48 PM
    xXPhillipXx
    If your son is only 7, I consider talking with him. Telling him everything is going to be okay, it's not his fault, it's no one's fault. Kids emotion can get in their way sometimes. Give him some more attention, read him bed time stories, make him feel like his loved. And if he thinks his going to keep getting treated badly, then tell him that it won't happen. There's nothing that you can do much unless you guys move somewhere else. Also, comfort him more, ask him how was his day at school or congratulate him on the littlest things such as if he just won a video game or he just won a board game. Make a big deal (in a good way) out of things so he feels like he is actually doing something right and not wrong.

    When kids are afraid of adults, they usually think that they are going to yell at them or hit them. The best way to deal with fear with little children is letting them meet different kinds of adults. Adults you trust, such as your neighbor or your close friend. Or you sister or brother. Let them know that not all adults are mean and nasty.

    Give your son a little room too. Like if you have been telling how to dress properly or annoying him to wash behind is ears, let it go for once or twice. Kids usually go under a lot of stress controlling their anger when adults annoy them about something. Especially when they know not what to do and you keep telling them to same thing.

    Kids would like some trust from adults too. If they ask you if they could go trick-or-treating with his friends, say yes but always stay with the crowd and never talk to strangers. Let them do what they want but don't go over board. Still know the line when it comes to trusting them to not do stupid things.

    That's all that I can really think of. I hope he gets over it soon!
  • Nov 2, 2008, 05:14 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    All kids even in relationships that break up nicely, need counseling to help them. It is common for them to think things are there fault

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