Yesterday we broke up. We had been together for 2 1/2 years. And he told me that if I cahnge he could love me again. Is that bull? Do guys say things like that ust to make you feel like there is still hope or is it so you'll just leave them alone? I am hurt and I want to be wth him. I am not the type of girl who falls in love easily and up till yesterday he was calling me and telling me he loves me and misses me. Then he just freaked out and told me he hates me and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. But then at te end of our conversation he told me that if cahnge he cold love me again if I changed. Does that mean something? Help me I am trying my best to be calm. I told him that I that is what he really wanted then I guess that's what well do. But I am torn apart and don't want to be like this. I don't know how to get him back. I didn't even know he was this upset about our relationship. Well any advice would be great. Thank you very much for listening and I hope you can help me.

My name is Nikki by the way.

What exactly was he asking you to change?

Generally speaking you don't change for anybody, but if it's something small perhaps you could think about it. But if he wants you to change your personality for him, then that's a deal breakers.

Nikki, life comes at you fast. Whether you are prepared or not, it doesn't matter. He has obviously been thinking about breaking up for awhile, and finally pulled the trigger. Very few people just decide to dump someone out of the blue. The best thing you can do is leave him alone and improve yourself. If he comes back then good for you, but improve yourself for you, and not just to get him back. Also, as Chuff said, what exactly did he want you to change?

If it is meant to be it is meant to be. I would give it some time. See if he starts to miss you. Just don't overwhelm him with calling and text paging. It will put you in the best position for possibilities.


Scott at Get My Ex Back

Leave him alone, and let your emotions get use to the shock of this break up.

While your feelings are so strong and painful, you'll never think straight, so give yourself time to calm down, and see things more realistically, without those intensely hurt feelings.

See how you feel in a week or too, and then we can talk.

More details could also help us understand this situation better.

I'm sorry that I have to say this because you seem really broken up but any guy that says that he'll be with you IF you change isn't worth the time of day. You deserve better than that, there are so many different guys out there and it's obvious that there's a better match for you, I know it's hard after so much time and emotion was invested in that relationship but selling yourself short for a guy like that might be the biggest regret of your life and I got to say from experience... it is NOT worth the wasted time to try to make a broken relationship with the wrong guy work. I hope you're doing better and I hope you'll give yourself the opportunity to find a guy worthy of your love! :)

Please calm down, take a few breaths, and then tell us more..
You are not the only one who has gone through this, and I promise you too will survive it.
You need to recap your relationship, remember what got you together, and what had changed since then. Also if you honestly communicated and bonded and learned from each other instead of just standing in one place fearing that if you go further and express your true feelings and fears that you might loose him. That's usually what makes a relationship old and confusing.
So, tell us what you two have shared in the last few years, and what you find so wonderful about him. Also what you think it is that he wants you to change. Is it jealousy, apathy, or nagging on your part? Don't hold back, or we cannot help you get further. If you want to get further, and maybe get him back, we can help, but we really need more - after you've reflected and calmed down.
So, come back and talk to us...

Hope to hear more from you soon.

:):)