Hi my son's father recently called da cops on me because we got into a physical fight. He was holding my son and won't let me have and since I felt like he was harming my son I tried getting my son from his hands and in da process scratched him a few times. I was locked up for da night and had to go before a judge da following day. I was told by the judge da next day I can go pick up my things and my son from his home once I was with a uniformed officer. I showed up that day and he refused to even let me see my son. I went to the court house da next and got a WRIT HABEAS CORPUS so I can go pick up my son. He then retaliated by taking me to court for visitation which was not an issue for me since I was never trying to keep him from his son. He has asked me to agree to joint cuztody, he said if I agree to joint custody he will drop the assault charges. I said NO cause I felt like I was being black mailed and I also feel like having my 10 mth old son constantly back and forth from house to house is not healthy for him at this point. He said he is now going to try for sole custody if I don't give him what he wants. When my son was born I went home to my house where I was sharing with my mother at da time. My son's father and I agreed that I would stay home with da baby so I had to quit my job and can no longer live with my mom since I was not working and could not hold my end of da rent. My son and I then moved in with his dad where he lived with his parents. There were many disputes while we were there and after about 5mths I realised it was not working out and went back to my mom's to stay until I found a place. I recently started back work and my mother babysits my son so I can work, since I am now living in my own apartment with my son. While I was pregnant he asked me to have and abortion on numerous occasions. He never even told his family I was pregnant until I was about 8mths along. We are now in c ourt and he going for full custody of my son. The only thing I can truly say he has on m,e is that I smoke marijuana. I stoppped smoking through out my pregnancy and since my son was born, so it's a habirt form da past. He works very long hours and 7dys a week. He is never there when I truly need him to be (eg. My son was in th er the other day and when I called him he was too busy to come to the hospital) What can I do to make sure he doesn't gwet full custody of my son?? How can I make saure my son stay wioth me and remains stable. There is currently a visitation set up but he shows up whenevr he wants and it disrupts my son's day to day routine, what can I do NYC

First off you are not texting so please do not use terms such as "da" and "cuz" it will not take too much time to write "the" and "because". Second, if you think he has a real chance at getting custody then get a lawyer on your side. We can give you all kinds of advice but nothing as good as having a lawyer in court with you. I don't really see him getting full physical custody because to do that he would have to prove you unfit which is generally hard to do. However, he should get joint legal custody if he dosen't have it already.

First if he is listed on the birth certificate he has as much legal right, and there is no legal reason without a custody order in place that he has to give you the child.

I may disagree with the types of court order you got but if you got something and got the child back OK.

Next of course he can not drop the charges against you now if he wanted to, after it goes to the DA, only the DA can drop it, the victim can not make it go away.

Next if you attacked him, esp with him holding the child, if they prove your drug use, yes he actually could have a chance at getting custody.

Even without that he should have a good chance at joint custody, you get one week, he gets one week.

So if you really want to win or get best deal, get an attorney

OR work out a deal with him that you both can agree to, and get it written up and filed in court.

Well I am aware of the DA and the assault charges, I just mentioned what he said. However, the cour order I got was because he would not let me see my son when I went to his home even though I followed the rules and went with an officer. As for my smoking habit I have not smoked marijuan since this whole thing startes and has clened my system since then so I am well prepared to take a drug test and pass. Oh and his name is not on my son's birth certificate. How does that affect your repsonse and thank you for your response

The fact that his name isn't on there dosen't really affect the answer too much. This is because he was already given temporary custody. All he has to do is go to court and the judge will order the DNA test and have him placed on the birth certificate when the results come back showing it to be his child.