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Im asking a question for a friend who is here with me. He has been trying to get a girlfriend for awhile now and hes a nice guy decent looking but can't seem to find a girlfriend? Him and my husband think that he aims to high with his standards for girls. I tried introducing him to a few girls but they always blow him off. So basically what do you think he should do?
Hi, atreyusmommy104!
One piece of advice that I have would be that he not try so hard to find a girlfriend, if that might be one of the things that he's doing. If he might be coming on too strong as being needy, that might be one of the things that's turning the women off.
I'm hopeful that others will be along to address your question.
Thanks!
A few questions. How old is he? What are his interests or hobbies. What does he do for a living? What type of girl does he usually go for? Is he outgoing, or shy? Where does he usually go to meet girls?
This would help us to get a sense of what kind of person he is.
This is a massive question with an answer that could fill several books.
My suggestion is to learn about the emotional needs, but that's always what I tell guys who having a hard time meeting girls. My mentor has a book on the subject which he may purchase if he's interested.
However, instead of having him buy the book, if you could describe him as starbuck suggested then we could just tell him what he needs to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck8
He is 19 almost 20. He likes cars going to the movies just normal guy stuff. He goes to college to be a mechanic and works at checkers. He normally goes for some preppy gorgeous chicks. He is outgoing over 90% of the time but when it comes to girls its not that he is shy he just doesn't exactly know what to say. He goes anywhere to meet girls literally.
Hope this helps.
Well, that information is a start.
Can you talk more about what he's like when he interacts with a girl that he likes?
If he goes for gorgeous preppy girls, does he ever have any success with them (dates, phone numbers)?
Has he ever had a girlfriend?
Has he ever been asked out by a girl? If yes, what was his response?
Just don't look for looks, look for a nice, interesting girl
And don't be desperate, that is exteremly annoying so if your truly nice and good looking she'll come no matter how much time it takes
Quote:
Originally Posted by EN Ken
With girls he acts like a typical class clown doing dumb stuff. But texting some of them he acts normal and a few other he well here ill give u an example. Girl "Im getting in theshower ill text you when i get out" Him "can i join you" Sometimes he's just inappropriate.
No dates but he get numbers "as friends"
He has had a few girlfriends and has only had sex once with a girl he didn't know and never talked to her again same with the girl.
No he has not been asked out by a girl.
Thank you. I have a much better picture of him now.
Being the class clown can be fun, but being a clown isn't really all that attractive to women. The fact that he's alone right now should attest to that and the fact that you call the stuff he's doing "dumb" should as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by atreyusmommy104
If the girl he does that to doesn't like him, then that's bordering on creepy. I know he's trying to do it as a joke, but it's joking about something that should only be joked about when two people are already attracted to one another on some level.Quote:
Originally Posted by atreyusmommy104
Tell him, "No sexual jokes unless you're having sex with the girl." It's a rule that I personally go by and I think it would serve him well.
If he's having almost nothing in the way of success with the type of girls he's attracted to, then he needs to lessen his criteria for attractiveness. If he only goes after women who are preppy and gorgeous, that's fine if he actually has success with them. If he isn't have success with them, then he needs to change that.Quote:
Originally Posted by atreyusmommy104
Ask him, would he rather have standards and be alone or have different standards and be in a relationship?
That is not surprising.Quote:
Originally Posted by atreyusmommy104
A woman will not become serious with a guy who just says things to get laughs because she simply can't trust him to say the right things at the right times. If the goal of his communication is to elicit laughter from others then the relationship she has with him takes a backseat and that means she can't trust him. A woman needs to know that the man she's with has her best interests in mind above all else.
From what you're telling me, there's really not one thing I could tell him to change the situation for him. He needs to reconsider his behaviour patterns because they are not working for him when it comes to interacting with women, but are working against him. Being "normal" would be a good first step but may not be enough in the long-term.
If he's serious about putting some good, honest work then get him to sign up to the forum in my signature and get him to message me there.
Good luck.
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