When I could remember what I was doing, the whole family lived in a rain-leaking house. It is a little crowded there, and we are so poor that My little brother and I always have no money to pay the tuition and no pin money either.

Even though, I like rain very much. When it rained outside, ourhouse will rained a little somewhere. Sometimes I can find a new raining spot. It is funny at that time. And we always place some basin or something others just under the raining spot , then there will be music along with rain rhythm. We have no umbrella, so my little brother and I went to school with our father's coat covering on our head.

They are fun in my childhood but also something bothering.

Then I grew up, and become sensitive and fractious, but lack self-confidence. So I always seemed a girl with a hyaline heart. People always can't be too close.

I have tried to change something, but something intrinsic can't be delected.

I sometimes feel pessimistic and blue. I just want to be as optimistic as my good friends. And I don't want to let the others around me feel uneasy.

How can I make it?

ArielXu,
I love your description of the rain leaking through the roof when you were little. Very beautiful writing.

Many people will give you advice on how to become happier and more optimistic. Meditation and exercise can help you become more calm and less anxious. Following your heart can help you become happier. I am not expert on this problem myself. It sounds like you were happier when things were simpler even though you didn't have much.

Hi, ArielXu!

I really like the way that you write! Do you like the arts of any kind, like music, visual art, drama, writing etc. please?

Thanks!

I really like music, especially piano music. I ever loving drawing very much, but I dropped for some reason.

It's a pity.

I like poems and like to write something.

And how about you?

I'm into a lot of different things. Too bad that you can't read my profile right now because we had a site upgrade a few weeks ago and some things aren't working very well or not at all. For one thing, all the information that people had written in their profiles about themselves disappeared.

You might want to click on the following to get an idea as to who and what I am.

Clough

It's not as good as what I had in my profile on this site, but it's something at least...

I feel happy to find this forum, which is just like the fobshanghai in Chinese.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

I'm into a lot of different things. Too bad that you can't read my profile right now because we had a site upgrade a few weeks ago and some things aren't working very well or not at all. For one thing, all the information that people had written in their profiles about themselves disappeared.

You might want to click on the following to get an idea as to who and what I am.

Clough

It's not as good as what I had in my profile on this site, but it's something at least...

---

Hawhaw, I have just read your page. It's so surprising that you are expert in music.

:)

I would like to check out the fobshanghai. But, would I be correct that it might all be in Chinese?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

I would like to check out the fobshanghai. But, would I be correct that it might all be in Chinese?

---

Yes, I have to answer you that the forum is all Chinese. Just like almost the QQ-users are Chinamen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ArielXu

Hawhaw, I have just read your page. It's so surprising that you are expert in music.

:)

---

That web address listed with a lot more information than I wanted to post in a URL here. It didn't look anything like that when I copied it. Have asked a question in one of the computer topic areas as to how to reduce it so that it's not so much.

Back to your original question though. I'm not finding you so hard to get along with and wonder more about why you think that you might be. I know a lot about what it is to be self-conscious.

Thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

That web address listed with a lot more information than I wanted to post in a URL here. It didn't look anything like that when I copied it. Have asked a question in one of the computer topic areas as to how to reduce it so that it's not so much.

Back to your original question though. I'm not finding you so hard to get along with and wonder more about why you think that you might be. I know a lot about what it is to be self-conscious.

Thanks!

---

The website is ¸£²½ÍâóÂÛ̳(FOB Business Forum) |ÖйúµÚÒ»ÍâóÂÛ̳. We Chinese always call forum bbs. I delivered some articles there.

I think that writing is quite different with talking. Talking needs more skills to be nice which is hard for me. And talking is always the important part of communication.

So the writing can't be the full explanation for the human communication.

But anyway I am a kind person. I have many good friends.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ArielXu

The website is ¸£²½ÍâóÂÛ̳(FOB Business Forum) |ÖйúµÚÒ»ÍâóÂÛ̳. We Chinese always call forum bbs. I delivered some articles there.

I think that writing is quite different with talking. Talking needs more skills to be nice which is hard for me. And talking is always the important part of communication.

So the writting can't be the full explanation for the human communication.

But anyway I am a kind person. I have many good friends.

---

Oh,I found the website can't be seen in this forum. You can type in the address "bbs.fobshanghai.com" to find the forum.

I agree, that writing and talking are very different things.

How much experience have you had to speak in front of small or large groups of people, ArielXu?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

I agree, that writing and talking are very different things.

How much experience have you had to speak in front of small or large groups of people, ArielXu?

---

Several times when I was in university.

My spoken English is not so good as my native language, Chinese. Hawhaw.

I was really bad at speaking in front of people in college as well as for a number of years after that. Used to get really nervous about that and have anxiety attacks. Now, I'm really good at speaking in front of people! It just took a lot of practice!

You do write very well in English! I wish that I could even begin to do as well in Chinese!

You mention liking piano music. Do you play the piano?

Thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

I was really bad at speaking in front of people in college as well as for a number of years after that. Used to get really nervous about that and have anxiety attacks. Now, I'm really good at speaking in front of people! It just took a lot of practice!

You do write very well in English! I wish that I could even begin to do as well in Chinese!

You mention liking piano music. Do you play the piano?

Thanks!

---

OK, are you interested in learning Chinese? We can talk about it someday.
I don't know anything about playing piano. I just like listen to it.

Sure, I'm very interested in learning Chinese! But, that would be the subject of another thread.

Do you play any musical instrument at all? And, if not, can you read music that's written on a grand staff?

Thanks!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Clough

Sure, I'm very interested in learning Chinese! But, that would be the subject of another thread.

Do you play any musical instrument at all? And, if not, can you read music that's written on a grand staff?

Thanks!

---

You got it that we need to talk about it in another thread. We are off duty in China, and I will go home and have dinner.

I haven't played any instrument, and can't read music on grand staff either. It is a pity, right?

Bye.

See you next week.

What I'm getting at is I'm wondering if you might like to write the words to a song. I can very easily put what you write to music that you can even play on a virtual piano. It's easy!

Doing something like that might help you to feel better about yourself and also boost your confidence...

You have mentioned that you would like to write something. If you're interested, please let me know.

It's okay if you don't play, sing or even read music, but all of us do have those abilities, we're just not all born with a Stradivarius for an instrument! If a person can walk, they can dance. If they can talk, they can sing.

Thanks!

Well, I believe there was another thread started about something similar to this.

You can begin by reading self help books, would that be a possibility? Or perhaps looking it up on line?

Specifically, I would look into self esteem and confidence. This is what I would recommend to you to check out either in a book store or on line.

You might also want to look into other threads that are similar to yours here on this site.

It's not uncommon to have feelings of worthlessness after having been raised the way you were.

Please check out other threads similar to yours...