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-   -   Daughter poor body self esteem (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=27578)

  • Jun 10, 2006, 12:51 PM
    YJKARIES
    Daughter poor body self esteem
    My 15 yr old daughter who is very pretty and popular has a terrible body image. Just a few moments ago I saw she was down and asked her what is the matter... talk to me... and she exploded in tears how she hates her body.. how she always has to worry what she eats while her friends eat everything in sight... etc. I know this has been an issue with her for a while... I don't understand it at all because she is 5'4 130 lbs and has an hourglass figure.. a size 5/7 pant and a flat stomach that I would die to have had at her age. Yet she sees her self as fat... and it breaks my heart when she is like this.

    No she is not starving herself or bullimic but I am so afraid that may be the next step. I think she needs to see a therapist but she said she would not go if I set something up. What am I to do... it is literally breaking my heart. :(
  • Jun 10, 2006, 01:17 PM
    GenomeX
    Yeah seeing a therapist is the solution.
  • Jun 10, 2006, 01:22 PM
    KITTEN17
    Hey I'm just 17 but I was put in lakeshore for bulimic and there is really nothing you can do she will have to grow out of it as for you just make sure you tell her that she is adorable and don't let her stop eating because it is hard to watch you teen lay in a bed with tubes down her throat or at least that is what my mom said
  • Jun 10, 2006, 01:41 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    Therapy is not just for "big recognition" mental illnesses like bipolar. You are so smart to consider this. Lucky girl to have a wise parent. Set it up and go with her. Override her negative feelings with loving pleas for open mindedness as you insist you both go investigate. Remind her this is strictly confidential. There are a thousand little nameless mental illnesses out there making for a whole bunch of needless suffering. That your daughter is suffering and you don't know how to help is more than enough reason to line this up.

    I have been to more than a few over my lifetime and would like you to know that, like in all professions, some are talented and some are not. I have three suggestions for concerning the effectiveness of a therapist for you to keep in mind:

    1. You, or in this case your daughter, should feel largely comfortable with them (so there is good rapport) but also a little uncomfortable too. The uncomfortable is about how they should be able to "get you" on the crapola they need to get you on - it's a good sign. Without that little bit of discomfort you'll be in there forever wondering when it will help.

    2. Three sessions is usually enough for you to have some sense of a little relief starting. If that is not so, the fourth session should start with "When do I begin to feel some relief?" Don't fool around.

    3. It's okay to stop with one and try another - a bad fit won't benefit anyone and all good therapists know this. In fact, they can often recommend someone else.

    If you don't know where to look for a therapist, start with your MD or a mental health clinic. Thanks for posting and good luck!

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