Difficulty coping with wife's past.
I could make this long and drawn out with detail, but will shorten for the reader's sake.
After a mutual decision to be brutally honest with each other, I found out the my wife has been with several sex partners -- too many for her to remember. She says the number might be somewhere around 20. Most of the sex she's had was meaningless, just-for-the-thrill sex. She has a high sex drive, and considered herself a "partier" with a lot of sex, drugs, and alcohol in her past. Only 2 of her many sexual experiences were with a committed relationship partner. The rest of the sex involved: one night stands, orgies, threesomes, lesbian sex, and sex with strangers she met off adult-sex-personal websites.
This is EXTREMELY hard for me to deal with. I don't like thinking of my wife as a skank. But in her own words, she was "easy." She seldom turned down sex, but obviously has decided she wants to settle down and start a family with me.
I know it's said, Ignorance Is Bliss. Does anyone have anything that might help me cope with this unwanten knowledge?
Other things to consider:
She's cheated on my 3 times (that I know of) when we started dating, before we became serious.
After becoming serious, she made a "mistake" with a guy, claiming never to have done anything sexual with him... i.e.. Hand-holding, kissing only.
She's still sexually attracted to and fantasizes about being with another girl.
Since the last "mistake," I've seen genuine remorse, and firmly believe her to be faithful
She's acknowledged her error(s) and realizes that I will leave her if anything vaguely similar to unfaithfulness happens again.
The problem I have is not worry that she'll cheat on me. As I've said, I don't believe she will. The problem is in her wild past. How do I get over her crazy sexual history?
J