So I posted this on my myspace in hopes of getting some kind of reaction from my close friends as I was sort of vauge as what I was talking about anyway. (even though it's obvious I'm talking about a relationship)

To people who did not read my post when I found this site it's about a girl who in essence did not treat me as well as I should have been treated over a 1 year relationship. Constantly blaming everything on me, lying on occasion while I on the other hand held her up emotionally, through family problems and her terrible past childhood not to mention helped her through her mistakes along the way while she took advantage of everyone I made. Not saying she is the worste girl on earth and she actually spent more money on me than I did on her by a little in the longrun so I try to believe that she is not as bad as everyone makes her out to be.

"First off I dont EVER use this...ever, but here I am trying to find words and outlets for emotions and this is about as best as I have. A stupid myspace page that can't talk back, give advice, or anything proactive for that matter. I know eventually that these feelings will just go away and make me a better person, but these emotions are so negative. I try to ignore it as much as possible and im successful in doing so 95% of the time. The other 5% these emotions that are so self condescending and destructive get the better of me and make me feel like I've made bad choices when at the center of my soul I know they were the right ones and that hopefully everything played out the way it should. But in the end I still play the "what if" game with myself about things that are either my fault or hers or how things should of been different. I do this even though I am almost certain im better off without in EVERY single way because im trying to believe in my friends opinions and what I hear even though it does not add up in my head. I am trying to listen because they were there for me before her and are here for me after, she is not. What I was doing got me here, so im doing my best to blindly believe in what I hope is the truth. Also at the end of the day for some damn reason or another beyond my comprehension my mind still leaves me here feeling sorry for myself and lonely, just wondering why this 5% of myself can't let this go when I should be able to.

Basically I am asking how can one person get so mentally involved and have a hard time with something when the other can blow the same situation off in a matter of a week and then move on as if NOTHING happend. It leaves me wondering if that makes the other person bad or insincere or just emotionally detached. Maybe she just did not care nearly as much as I did. Maybe she is just trying to fill the void? Who really knows, I dont and I should not even care. But as much as I try not to I still have this fleeing renegade section of my mind that wont let if fully go and likes to bring it up against my will when im sitting home alone with nothing to do.

Not that this really upsets me in any major or personal way, it really just leaves me wondering how some people can be so caught up in themselves or so selfish as to just brush away imporent things like this so quickly and makes me ask how the did moral degeneration come so far in the last 75 years.

Then again maybe IM the one in the wrong for my whole situation and for the way im thinking. A whole bunch on imperfection stitched together with good intention indeed...."

Just looking for any input on this. Guess there is not really a lot to answer just reasurance to give.

I think the main reason you felt bad 5% of time is that you have some kind of insecurity. And that you don't love yourself enough to trust and believe in yourself, that's also why you try to listen to people too much instead of yourself. There is something that no one can judge better than yourself. So have some faith, once you know you did the right thing, and that the best you could do at the time then, your negativity just simply fades away.

Sometimes people try to quickly fill the void in their life when a relationship ends. This is not uncommon. Personally I would think that you are closer to being the sane one as you are going through a type of greiving process. Your mind, body and spirit have to adjust to her not being there. You as a person spent the past year having her around. Her smell her touch etc. It is normal to miss those things. I wouldn't worry much about what she's doing. Yes, it might not be right or just but everyone has there ways of dealing and hers is a rebounder. Everyone knows what they are and eventually they will come to an end. Be happy that you have friends to enjoy the day with and live your life. Go out and have some fun, it will get better. Good luck.

Sorry I missed your other posts, but I can tell you that sometimes one partner is more emotionally invested than the other, so a break up is not only a shock, but traumatic, as you really had no clue as to what the other was thinking, and therein lies the rub.

They have had the advantage of dealing with their changing feelings, and have had time to prepare themselves for the break up. That simple.

As you see the shock and disappointment wrecks havoc with your life, and emotions, and you need time to make your own adjustments to this change (healing from your loss).

We all go through it and it sucks, but stop wondering about her, and get busy making some adjustments to your own life, without her in it.

Love yourself enough to be patient with yourself.