I recently made the mistake of losing my temper and providing an insight into how frustrated I was with a dear friend of mine. She got really upset with me and picked apart all the things I'd said and then in the end told me that she needed a few months to "heal". So I gave her her time. She came back into my life on my birthday of all days, and the way she did it hurt so very badly. In the month that followed she had nearly nothing to do with me. Finally I'd decided I'd had enough. After putting it out there that I needed some kind of sign that she was even interested in being my friend, and got nothing, I said enough was enough. I sent her a note and told her sorry for hurting her, I'll leave her alone. That night I find out that she thought I didn't want to talk to her. So frustrated and hurt that again I can't do anything right, I send her a letter and asked her how exactly she thought I didn't want to talk to her as she was the one that wouldn't have anything to do with me. She wrote me back and blew up and told me what a untrustworthy, nasty, cold hearted I am and that she has no use for me in her life. For years I have sat back and take all the things that she said that hurt me without comment and did my best to just deal and step forward. I've torn myself apart for 3 months over my one act of stupidity. Everyone around me told me that I did nothing wrong other than how I gave her the information, but that telling her the truth isn't wrong. She hasn't forgiven me a bit for my mistake and seems to be more bitter than ever towards me. I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. She seems more than happy to not have me in her life. I spent my birthday heart broken for the fact I didn't hear from her, and today on her birthday, she seems like she couldn't be happier not having me in her life. How do I heal from this? I really feel like I'm dying inside...

IAm so sorry for your lost friendship, I to have had a problem with my mouth being to loose and have lost a few friends because of it.
The answer to th question is pretty ease for me if you want to have fiends and want to live a life with out stress you need an anger management class, or talk to a counselor there something in you that you must not be fully aware of that is making you mad beyond belief its not your Friends they happen to be the innocent bystanders but you need to get find out what your doing battle with.. And when you feel like you know the answer to that question go to the people you have heart and truly apologize to them more then likely they will see the changes in you and like the new person yo have become. AND then you will finally like yourself. When you say you feel like your dying inside, I can understand that feeling your hurt so terribly by something or somebody. So do something today that will change your life for ever take a moment and make a call and find that person that can help you. You will never have so much peace in your body then the day you see you're a wonderful person and you want to do right to others also. You're a great person so go forth and conquer the day. CARPE DIEM

Thank you Michelle. Unfortunately, it wasn't that I was angry and just lashed out. I was angry that I'd tried so hard not to ruffle her feathers, and kept my concerns about her life choices to myself. She never seemed to want to hear my concerns in the past, so I just gave up. And when I hit that wall I finally told her how I felt. Where I saw that she was headed down some dangerous roads. And she told me that I "stabbed her in the back". In the end, as I keep being reminded by the people in my life, all I did was finally tell her the truth. God knows I wish I'd just said something in anger and been done with it. Chances are I probably wouldn't have spent 3 months ripping myself apart for the whole thing only to be kicked into the cold. I'd probably still have my friend...