I have been working for almost a year and half, and I there's that co-worker who used to be my brother's friend, she was happy when I was assigned in the same department. Now since I started my job she's been really nice with me, but in the same time, she gets shy when she talks to me, and I do too sometimes. She is married but not have any childeren.

When we work as teams, she chooses to be on my team, she always smiles at me, and invites me when she get a meal. And every time when I am late to work, she jump into my office and ask me if I was OK, the way she talks with me is different to other colleagues. But to be honest I am not sure she feels about me, but I like her so bad. I simply can not take her off my head.

I really like the girl so please help me in this regards,

She is married, so she is off limits. That means totally off limits. You can be friends, but if it is getting romantic in your mind there is a problem and you need to fix it.

It seems like she has taken an extra interest in you but don't do anything stupid. It doesn't matter that she doesn't have any kids with her husband, she is still married.

You have two big no's to not get involve what this women, your work together and she's married. Find someone that is single and control yourself around her even if she doesn't.

The others make a lot of sense.

You know that because she is married, you can't date this girl. Friends with a sort of 'tension' between each other? Yes.
It is obviously okay to have feelings, just don't act on these.

Even if she makes the move on you, don't help her cheat. You know it is morally wrong.

Its too bad, but its life.
I'm sure you are a great guy, and you can find an even better, more convenient girl.

Good luck!

She totally seems to like you, but she's off limits and only someone who's immature would "break the rules."

But what do you, me or anyone else knows? Maybe she doesn't even want to be with her husband.. .

Ill keep it quick. Don't BE A HOMEWREKER. It degrades your own self image, your purity, your reputation It is just not worth it no matter how good you "think" things can be.

How would you feel if your wife was taken from you? Im guessing not to great...

With that out of the way just go along with it. It's great to have good friends at work just keep it in check don't let her do anything sexual under ANY circumstance. If she wants to be with you at some point tell her its you or her husband that might clear things up for you if she has to choose.

I don't agree with the idea that it's okay to be attracted and enjoy the sexual tension. That only leads to more sexual tension and eventually the strong temptation to act.

She's married and she's your coworker. Back off and discourage her attention. Find someone who is available. Even if you two got together, you would likely never trust her if she was unfaithful to her husband. Don't even think these thoughts!

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Originally Posted by asking

I don't agree with the idea that it's okay to be attracted and enjoy the sexual tension. That only leads to more sexual tension and eventually the strong temptation to act.

She's married and she's your coworker. Back off and discourage her attention. Find someone who is available. Even if you two got together, you would likely never trust her if she was unfaithful to her husband. Don't even think these thoughts!

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If you were referring to my post, I would like to clarify it...
What I mean is that I think it is okay, because you can't control it. It is okay to be attracted to someone. I never said, 'enjoy' it, but I do see how it came across that way...

I agree with you when you say to find an available girl, I think anyone would agree with that point. And to discourage the thoughts and her attention is also a good point. What I meant was the OP shouldn't feel guilty for the feelings being felt.
It is sometimes difficult to stop thinking about it, especially if they work together. Limiting contact to as little as possible would work, and again, discouraging her attention.


By the way, asking, thank you for disagreeing with me respectfully... I see your point. I think the feelings shouldn't be felt either, it is just easier said then done to say "forget about her." I really respect your advice, and ethics on these threads... Thank you

Hi jrsg.
Thanks for clarifying and thanks for the praise! I do agree the OP shouldn't feel guilty. I didn't mean to blame him. I know these feelings can sneak up on a person and it does sounds like she is making a point of hanging around him. It would be difficult.

But I also think one can make a conscious decision to not indulge the feelings. It's not necessarily easy, but that's what I meant. I agree with everyone here who said in essence that it's just not worth the drama. If she continues her behavior, Sully may need to casually mention that he's looking for someone who is single.