Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Family Law (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=120)
-   -   My kids don't want mother's boy friend to move in (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=275292)

  • Oct 30, 2008, 08:17 AM
    daddyof2kids
    My kids don't want mother's boy friend to move in
    Is there any options in New Hampshire law to grant there wishes thanks Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 08:33 AM
    ScottGem

    No. You can, however, file for a change in custody do to this.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 08:45 AM
    daddyof2kids

    Do I have the right to a backround check on this person if he is to have interaction with my kids Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 09:16 AM
    this8384

    I would do a background check if you truly feel that there's a need for it. My husband's ex-wife wouldn't give him the last name of her new boyfriend that she was moving in with until 3 months later; we found out the guy had 4 OWI convictions and was still married when she was dating him. What a lovely world we live in...
  • Oct 30, 2008, 09:56 AM
    daddyof2kids

    Best place to dobackround check and can I use plate on car to do so Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 10:09 AM
    this8384

    I use the Circuit Court website to search people, but that's only Wisconsin. I don't know if New Hampshire has the same type of website. You could try an online website if you have his full name and approximate age.

    Plates aren't going to help you much because as far as I know, the only people with the ability to run a plate is the police and they can't legally give you that information... at least in this state.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 10:34 AM
    ScottGem

    You have a right to do a background check on anyone as long as you are willing to pay for it. However, the only thing you can do with the results of that check is use it as evidence in your petititon to change custody.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 10:45 AM
    this8384

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem
    You have a right to do a background check on anyone as long as you are willing to pay for it. However, the only thing you can do with the results of that check is use it as evidence in your petititon to change custody.

    Absolutely; hence my statement about doing the check "if there's an absolute need for it." Too many people try to get some dirt on their ex's new partner without any need for it... not saying that's the case here but it's a common problem.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:09 PM
    daddyof2kids

    It's hard to close your eyes at night when you can't be there to protect you kids from the unknown I just thank god that I have them four nights a week (every weekend) I lived my life to have kids and then to have my hands tied on the purpose I hold so true to protect and rise my kids to maturity Thanks Everybody Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:17 PM
    ScottGem

    How old are the kids?
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:18 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    No you have no say, you can ask for custody of the children if you want to try
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:20 PM
    daddyof2kids

    My daughter is 13 and my son is 8 married for 20 divorced for 6 years Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:28 PM
    daddyof2kids
    It tears you up when the people you love ask you to keep them save and your hands are tied not to mention it's from there mom putting her needs before them feeling save at their home and I'm respecting their wishs not to extend the family Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 12:29 PM
    ScottGem

    Frankly, at their ages, they should be able to handle mom's boyfriend
  • Oct 30, 2008, 02:05 PM
    daddyof2kids

    I don't say this because their mine but they have been able to keep their child like innocence and are super sweet kids leaving them venerable and wouldn't be able to handle any boyfriend espesily then the mother is already ignoring there plea not to disrupt their surroundings Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 02:12 PM
    this8384

    Why would they not be able to handle your ex's boyfriend? At 13 and 8, they should be able to accept that you and their mother are not going to reconcile after 6 years of divorce.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 02:25 PM
    daddyof2kids

    That kind of handling yes safety and the unknown no 3 month old boyfriends moving in no maybe I left the part where moms choice's are not always good child oriented Ray
  • Oct 30, 2008, 02:32 PM
    this8384

    My step-kid's mom does everything that is self-oriented. If you read some of my latest posts about her, the latest thing she told the 8 year old is that she "can't afford floss." Even with that type of parenting, the kids are able to handle who she dates, and they're only 8 and 6.
  • Oct 30, 2008, 04:41 PM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by daddyof2kids View Post
    i don't say this because their mine but they have been able to keep their child like innocence and are super sweet kids leaving them venerable and wouldn't be able to handle any boyfriend

    You aren't going to like this, but if this is the case, then you haven't been a good parent. The 13 yr old, especially, should be mature enough to deal with this. The 8 yr old may need some special handling to explain it, but he's old enough as well.

    Its all well and good to try and protect your kids, but if you over protect, then you don't prepare them properly for when they finally have to deal with the "outside" world. To truly protect kids these days, they have to know what the dangers are so they can recognize and deal with or avoid them.
  • Oct 31, 2008, 09:17 AM
    daddyof2kids

    so your saying I should have thought my kids disposable values instead of committing to values and goals two wrongs don't make right if mom throw her family values away follow right be hind her etc.ect. Ray

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:50 AM.